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This one is dead and the PS sucked. Deleting it and working on something new

A bit awkward. While reading your essay I wondered how old you are & whether you had taken the LSAT yet.

This is deep; brah.

I'd start over. Its only a first draft and thus you have little invested.

I like the idea, but this isn't very coherent. It's awkward and isn't easy to follow.

yeah its the same thing I got from it after reading it. It's a little choppy not to mention some big errors. I only needed to start writing something after a week of bad ideas

Are you applying to law schools for the current cycle ? Have you taken the LSAT yet ?
The reason that I am asking is that your essay hints that you are quite young compared to the typical law school applicant on TLS.

Not sure why it matters whether OP has taken the LSAT or is younger than most applicants.

However, I do agree with everyone that this is not a good essay.

Because the writing & analytical abilities shown in her personal statement are very weak for a serious law school applicant. If she is just in her first or second year of college, then my suggestions would be different than if the OP is a college senior. May also be maturity issues.

I see. Well, I'm willing to bet OP is at least a college senior. I'm assuming this because OP seems to have enough classes in political science and philosophy under his/her belt to be a senior.

yeah I'm a senior, although I sometimes wonder about my maturity level myself. Thanks a lot for your comments, they are being really helpful.
How exactly are my analytical skills weak on the ps so I can work on them

CanadianWolf wrote:Because the writing & analytical abilities shown in her personal statement are very weak for a serious law school applicant. If she is just in her first or second year of college, then my suggestions would be different than if the OP is a college senior. May also be maturity issues.

and why assume "she"?

I definitely don't think you should mention the whole grad school being a more exciting better choice for you. I see what you're getting at, but still just leave it out.