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Another Personal Statement - Please Give me your feedback
Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 7:35 pm
by egeffin
Any help would be great. anything i should add / take out?
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Re: Another Personal Statement - Please Give me your feedback
Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 7:48 pm
by CanadianWolf
Not good. Too many inappropriate word choices surrounded by a poorly thought out topic. The introductory & conclusory paragraphs are terrible, yet, they may be your best two paragraphs.
Re: Another Personal Statement - Please Give me your feedback
Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:03 pm
by kwais
I agree. It is extremely impersonal.