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PS: Please critique

Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 11:24 am
by applepiecrust
Paranoia strikes again. PM me.

Re: PS: Please critique

Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 9:01 pm
by TonyBender
the continuous compare and contrast that you do between India and America is hard to follow.
Also, it seems that there are several sub-themes within your essay, while it may be stronger to just focus on one. For example you discuss the cultural limitation of India (clothing), family expectations (finding a spouse), acceptance of different sexual preferences, acceptance of foreigners, changes in speech, etc. Think about which of these themes has been most important in shaping you as a person and develop that one idea. It just feels too scattered right now.

Please critique my PS lower on the thread. Just look for my name. Thanks!!!