1st Draft Please Critique
Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:07 pm
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The rest of the essay doesn't really work. You talk for a paragraph about the larger causes of the mugging, but never really finish the thought or connect it back to your own interests. The "taking the easier path" metaphor seems contrived - walking on the less crowded side of the street may have been the proximate cause of why you were mugged but it doesn't really reveal anything about your character. Also, that Robert Frost quote is way over-used to the point of being cliche.In the university classroom his rhetorical powers may have fallen on deaf ears, but here, on the street, gun in hand, he was a modern Cicero.