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Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 4:40 pm
by cinefile 17
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Re: Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 4:54 pm
by cinefile 17
bump
Re: Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:02 pm
by cartercl
I don't think this is going to be very effective. Actually, I think it's going to work against you. Your story just seems too typical and every problem you mentioned appears to be something that was within your control. Especially leave out the part about the extracurricular activities. If you didn't have time between work and study to ensure your GPA was where you wanted it to be, you definitely should not have taken on any extra activities. I think as this stands, you're going to be held completely liable for your GPA.
Also: What exactly are you attributing to your original poor performance?
Re: Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:03 pm
by CanadianWolf
Too wordy. Try to condense your plea into a more succinct statement comprised of crisp, clear sentences. As it is, your addendum is a bit self-defeating because you are unable to express your thoughts in a concise fashion.
Re: Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:08 pm
by blackwater88
Come on... Don't bump after 14 minutes
Like the above posters said, an addendum for a 3.4 GPA doesn't sound like a good idea.
Re: Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:15 pm
by CanadianWolf
CONSIDER:
Please note my strong upward trend in grades during my undergraduate years. As a first generation college student working full time while also enrolled full time, I had to learn to manage my time in an effective manner.
Re: Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:20 pm
by blackwater88
CanadianWolf wrote:CONSIDER:
Please note my strong upward trend in grades during my undergraduate years. As a first generation college student working full time while also enrolled full time, I had to learn to manage my time in an effective manner.
It seems kinda whiny to write an addendum for such uncompelling reasons.
Re: Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:23 pm
by CanadianWolf
That's a matter of opinion. Any first generation college student working full time while enrolled full time should get positive attention. I do agree, however, that the OP's version seems somewhat weak because of its length & breadth.
Re: Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:26 pm
by cartercl
Yeah. As it's written, it's not very effective. But I do think if it was written better it could have somewhat of a positive effect.
Re: Addendum Critique
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:26 pm
by blackwater88
CanadianWolf wrote:That's a matter of opinion. Any first generation college student working full time while enrolled full time should get positive attention. I do agree, however, that the OP's version seems somewhat weak because of its length & breadth.
I'm a first generation student, didn't arrive here until I was in middle school, worked full time throughout my undergrad career and managed to get a 3.6 (not very high but I'm happy with it). If the OP and I apply to the same schools, I feel she might sound whiny if there are other applicants with stories similar to mine.