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"I used this time to take up new hobbies and to inquire about interests I never had time for. "

The word is "INQUIRE"...it used to be "...and to EXPLORE interest I never had time for." But I used explore twice already in the essay

Really my question is does "inquire about" sound right? It sounds awkward to me?

delve into, explore, investigate,... sound more fun to me, especially in relation to hobbies.
IMHO

^ sorry RC Fail. I would use one of these in place of "take up" though, and then keep inquire, so you have a passionate and serious feel to your time.

I would not put that you didn't have time for them. Although hardly, it hints at you not being able to juggle a lot of activities.

Change if from "inquire about interests" to "inquire into interests"???


I think that sounds a little better, still pretty bad though.....

I don't think so. Inquiring about/into something would be just asking a general question about a subject, not actively studying or participating in it. For example, inquiring into horseback riding would be asking "Where can I learn to ride horses?" so if you are trying to convey a sense of participating in new experiences, that isn't the right word.

Also, please don't end that sentence with a preposition. Just re-word the whole thing.

eskimo wrote:Also, please don't end that sentence with a preposition. Just re-word the whole thing.

And, while we're editing other parts of this sentence. Let's just be honest, this sentence just completely sucks. Not just the grammar, but the entire idea you're trying to convey. Pure crap, go ahead and remove it.


/thread

eskimo wrote:I don't think so. Inquiring about/into something would be just asking a general question about a subject, not actively studying or participating in it. For example, inquiring into horseback riding would be asking "Where can I learn to ride horses?" so if you are trying to convey a sense of participating in new experiences, that isn't the right word.

Also, please don't end that sentence with a preposition. Just re-word the whole thing.

My literary friends are telling me this isn't a taboo anymore. Fight!

OP, as others have said, just reword the whole thing.

d34dluk3 wrote:

eskimo wrote:I don't think so. Inquiring about/into something would be just asking a general question about a subject, not actively studying or participating in it. For example, inquiring into horseback riding would be asking "Where can I learn to ride horses?" so if you are trying to convey a sense of participating in new experiences, that isn't the right word.

Also, please don't end that sentence with a preposition. Just re-word the whole thing.

My literary friends are telling me this isn't a taboo anymore. Fight!

OP, as others have said, just reword the whole thing.

I'm sure there's a lot that's okay now, but do you want to risk having an adcomm read your file and that happens to be their one great pet peeve?

I didn't think so. I'm of the mindset that very traditional style rules should be followed to be on the safe side.

D. H2Oman wrote:

eskimo wrote:Also, please don't end that sentence with a preposition. Just re-word the whole thing.

And, while we're editing other parts of this sentence. Let's just be honest, this sentence just completely sucks. Not just the grammar, but the entire idea you're trying to convey. Pure crap, go ahead and remove it.


/thread

H20 easy man! If your profile is true, I'll let you know when I wanna take advice from someone pulling a 2.7 in elementary education. Seriously man, you need to lose the whole "badass" attitude. I'm always open to criticism just don't be a dick, especially if your not YHS.

Everyone else, thanks a bunch! I'll just reword the whole thing.

Mike12188 wrote:

D. H2Oman wrote:

eskimo wrote:Also, please don't end that sentence with a preposition. Just re-word the whole thing.

And, while we're editing other parts of this sentence. Let's just be honest, this sentence just completely sucks. Not just the grammar, but the entire idea you're trying to convey. Pure crap, go ahead and remove it.


/thread

H20 easy man! If your profile is true, I'll let you know when I wanna take advice from someone pulling a 2.7 in elementary education. Seriously man, you need to lose the whole "badass" attitude. I'm always open to criticism just don't be a dick, especially if your not YHS.

Everyone else, thanks a bunch! I'll just reword the whole thing.

You're welcome bro, feel free to PM with any more questions