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Great essay. Very effective. Layered in maturity. Makes the reader want you to become a lawyer. Some minor grammatical errors that, hopefully, others will point out. This is easily one of the best compositions that I have ever read for the purpose of strengthening a law school application.

Yay! Thank you! That's very reassuring, and I appreciate you taking the time to read it. My first attempt at a ps was absolute drivel, so I'm glad this one turned out better.

Now someone will come along and tell me it's crap.

Nicely done. It was easy to read, and IMO, perfect in length. In fact, my draft PS is very similar in structure (i.e., driven by a representative episode, accomplishments and lessons learned from it, etc.). I am now working to link LS (motivation, goals, etc.) to my professional experience. A big question for me is whether I am not saying enough about "who I am" while focusing too much on my job and past achievements. OP, do you have the same concerns? I could probably post mine later to compare notes.

I do feel I need to know a little less about Sue and a little more about you, especially since you are applying for law and not a masters in social work, in which this story my be more directly related.
Also I had to reread the first few sentences several times in the attempt to orient myself. Clinical internship? I was thinking legal clinic, but now we're talking patients not clients. So then Sue must be a patient? No she's a nurse. A nurse and a patient. Oy vey.
Since you are probably using pseudonyms to protect confidentiality, you might try a different name with no legal connotation

LSAT Taker wrote:Nicely done. It was easy to read, and IMO, perfect in length. In fact, my draft PS is very similar in structure (i.e., driven by a representative episode, accomplishments and lessons learned from it, etc.). I am now working to link LS (motivation, goals, etc.) to my professional experience. A big question for me is whether I am not saying enough about "who I am" while focusing too much on my job and past achievements. OP, do you have the same concerns? I could probably post mine later to compare notes.

I had similar concerns about whether or not it says enough about who I am, but I kind of feel like it should, and does, reflect who I am in my writing and my perspective, rather than saying "I am good at this. I like this. etc" I think my letters of recommendation and resume will provide a more comprehensive picture of who I am as a person, with the PS providing a little more nuanced description of one of my better moments. I don't want to try to make it an example of where I have done lawyerly things in the past, because as a 0L, I haven't. I'd be happy to read yours if you want, just post it on here or send me a PM. The trickiest part I found is connecting the experience or the work to the skills that are necessary for law. I still am not entirely sure how I'm gonna wrap it up.