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Here it is, let me know if this will get me into good schools.

Waking up this morning, on the eve of dawn, I could not help but shudder as I saw an eight-legged spider slink its way across the carpet of my apartment--a carpet that had grown moldy and old as the years have gone by. It was at that moment, my eyes fixated at the ever expanding infestation of mold, that I decided that I would have to pursue a far more lucrative career in order to truly establish myself as a pioneer for the children of today and of tomorrow as well (perhaps those of the past, although they are adults now, they still could see me as a pioneer).

I realized, in truth, that my days as a salesman at Walgreens were not bringing about the kind of income I needed to survive. Therefore, I have decided to become an international and corporate lawyer with an emphasis on east german litigation--this is because I believe that east germany, a former soviet bloc, could use the enlightenment that can only be offered by a legitimate law school graduate from your fine and incredible institution.

I believe that I have much to offer for your law school. For example, during my first year in college (check my application I have listed what college it is, it is quite reputable at least in my area) I donated blood to the red cross over 50 times. I also developed a keen sense of speed and skill in quick analyzation through the chess club, which, in truth, was the greatest experience I have ever had the pleasure of truly experiencing. In this regard, I truly believe that I will be an incredible candidate for your law school--after all, a chess master moves tactically and a tactical person is indeed the right candidate for law school, would you not agree?

I will keep praying for an acceptance from your prestigious institution, especially in the Jewish faith, which, if I am not mistaken, is quite prevalent among the admissions committee. For example, during Passover I made sure to say "Happy Passover" (I even added a quirky "Shalom") to all my Jewish friends and even to Jewish bystanders (I knew they were Jewish because they had the unfinished cap on their heads). It was quite the experience. Hopefully you will not keep me here waiting (and scratching my balls) and will accept me as soon as possible. Because we all know the truth--you will never read this, and all you're going to see is my GPA and my LSAT, so although you have wasted my time, I still believe that writing this has been a cathartic experience worthy of the annals of time (in the context of my own existence, which, as I've stated before, will be that of a pioneer for children long gone, those that are hear and those that are to come!).

Win.

I was almost willing to believe your flame until the last paragraph. Good try.

Its good but I didn't understand the point of the spider? And what happened to it, lulz.

YLS SECURE.

At least make an alt for flame attempts

Is this what you do for fun?

We have one person who fell for it here, lol.

eldizknee wrote:I was almost willing to believe your flame until the last paragraph. Good try.

It's meant to be a satire.

TheBigMediocre wrote:

eldizknee wrote:I was almost willing to believe your flame until the last paragraph. Good try.

It's meant to be a satire.

My point was that good flame should be subtle and somewhat believable. This was just too obvious.

TheBigMediocre wrote:

eldizknee wrote:I was almost willing to believe your flame until the last paragraph. Good try.

It's meant to be a satire.

"Risky" (read: retarded) PSs are the best.

It's believable until the last paragraph, which is the point.

eldizknee wrote:

TheBigMediocre wrote:

eldizknee wrote:I was almost willing to believe your flame until the last paragraph. Good try.

It's meant to be a satire.

My point was that good flame should be subtle and somewhat believable. This was just too obvious.

True, but I still enjoyed it.

I'd like to see someone write a PS that just weaves together a bunch of movie plots. "I learned about courage when after I had finished that math problem left up on the chalkboard at Harvard, I was selected to go plant a nuclear bomb in the center of an asteroid to save the Earth. To add to the problem, while on the asteroid I ran into my ex-girlfriend who was vacationing with her new boyfriend at the same resort."

GermX wrote:It's believable until the last paragraph, which is the point.

The sad part is that the second paragraph should be absolutely unbelievable, but TLS' obsession with transnational law keep it from being 100% out of the realm of possibility.

You know what would truly be funny? Sending this as a PS (attach it to your app):

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

Or even better, how about someone apply to Cooley with that PS. See if they get in. lol

Great PS, but you're missing one thing...a delusion vision of yourself as a medieval knight. I hear those who use that metaphor are always "triumphant." hth.

What is your ELO rating? That's the one thing that could make or break your chess club reference.

Love it.

soullesswonder wrote:Great PS, but you're missing one thing...a delusion vision of yourself as a medieval knight. I hear those who use that metaphor are always "triumphant." hth.

+1000, that P.S. was fucking hilarious.

I think you really need to tie in the Jewish faith part to the interest in Germany. Would make it more cohesive.

Make sure to bill the admissions committee for your time in preparing the application in addition to sharing this very fine personal statement. Also, it might be wise to send in your application with postage due so that the admissions officers remember your file!

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