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first draft - be harsh

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 10:18 pm
by Lawl Shcool
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Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 10:21 pm
by TTTennis
There's a poster named JustDude...if you want harsh, have him take a look at it.

Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 10:36 pm
by sarcasmpolice
Newberry Medal contender.

Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:37 pm
by Lawl Shcool
sarcasmpolice wrote:Newberry Medal contender.
?

Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:39 pm
by $1.99
isnt the newberry for children's novels?

Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:46 pm
by Lawl Shcool
Wikipedia wrote:The John Newbery Medal is a literary award given by the Association for Library Service to Children, a division of the American Library Association (ALA). The award is given to the author of the most distinguished contribution to American literature for children
I think the joke went over my head.

edit: quote fix

Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:04 am
by sarcasmpolice
JPU wrote:
Wikipedia wrote:The John Newbery Medal is a literary award given by the Association for Library Service to Children, a division of the American Library Association (ALA). The award is given to the author of the most distinguished contribution to American literature for children
I think the joke went over my head.

edit: quote fix
I could see a young Kirk Cameron playing the lead in this Family Channel/Disney/ABC abortion of a movie. Change the lead to a woman, throw in a rape scene, and you're ready for Lifetime.

Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 2:46 am
by $1.99
since no one is biting i will take a stab at it, you should not be talking about high school events in essays like these, try to find something that happened during your college years or later. especially since you are old enough to transfer

you dont really talk in depth about what happened to you as a person or how you developed, it reads like a stereotypical "a overcoming a sports event" story, this is probably because your story is too shallow

in general your topic choice really limits you from showing your maturity and makes you sound like a teenager writing a personal story in high school. that is probably why you got hit with the newberry joke

Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:20 am
by Lawl Shcool
$1.99 wrote:since no one is biting i will take a stab at it, you should not be talking about high school events in essays like these, try to find something that happened during your college years or later. especially since you are old enough to transfer

you dont really talk in depth about what happened to you as a person or how you developed, it reads like a stereotypical "a overcoming a sports event" story, this is probably because your story is too shallow

in general your topic choice really limits you from showing your maturity and makes you sound like a teenager writing a personal story in high school. that is probably why you got hit with the newberry joke
That is what I was worried about. I just graduated from UG in August right before law school started so its only 5 years removed but still I should make it more recent.

I will be back with a new draft soon.

Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:08 am
by $1.99
yeah despite the laughs i get from the jokes made on this site, just ignore them and focus on your goals, hope everything works out

Re: first draft - be harsh

Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:31 am
by James Bond
$1.99 wrote:yeah despite the laughs i get from the jokes made on this site, just ignore them and focus on your goals, hope everything works out
He asked for our $.02. We obliged him. Take the rest of your $1.97 and go somewhere else.