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First Draft - Please help ... pretty please w/ sugar on top
Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:08 pm
by flunkee
Thank you for all of your help!
Re: First Draft - Please help ... pretty please w/ sugar on top
Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:35 pm
by Captain Muscles
I like this but maybe don't talk about how your life was in turmoil. Focus on the brightside!
Re: First Draft - Please help ... pretty please w/ sugar on top
Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 3:47 pm
by flunkee
Thank you for your reply. I will take that into consideration. Is there anyone else with any thoughts or suggestions?
Re: First Draft - Please help ... pretty please w/ sugar on top
Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:32 pm
by Sherpa
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Re: First Draft - Please help ... pretty please w/ sugar on top
Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 4:37 pm
by flunkee
Sherpa wrote:The essay jumps around too much and is a little too "woe is me" and not enough "I'm the Rocky balboa of overcoming adversity."
Thank you for pointing this out. I agree completely.