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without reading any of it, it's entirely too long. i copied it in word and it's nearly 1200 words and two single-spaced pages. if i was an adcom, i wouldn't want to read through it.

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ambition23 wrote:without reading any of it, it's entirely too long. i copied it in word and it's nearly 1200 words and two single-spaced pages. if i was an adcom, i wouldn't want to read through it.

agreed.
tl;dr

The PS is supposed to be two double spaced pages for most schools.

I read through most of it (before realizing it was entirely too long) and it looks like a good start. In order to cut down, you should probably pick one topic (Bio or Crew) instead of trying to discuss them both.

Once you get it down to 2 pages, repost and you'll probably get more substantive critiques

Rutgers Camden says to keep it below 4 pages double spaced. That's what this is.

Which topic do you think is better? thanks

MSRP wrote:Rutgers Camden says to keep it below 4 pages double spaced. That's what this is.

Which is why I made it a point to say "most." Of course some schools have different rules. If you're only applying to Rutgers Camden then its fine to keep this one, but usually people are applying to more than one school.

I think the crew topic is more "personal" whereas talking about your work is more that I would expect in a Statement of Intent (likely what you wrote for your grad school apps).

Thanks,

Anyone else have any advice about how the essay is written, strong topic, etc. I am trying to cut it down to 900 words, so this should be fine.

You definietely need to cut short on words. I dont know where you are applying to, but if you coudl use your experience working for patent lawyers in some sort of a diversity essay or how you could contribute to the program, you could save your words. But you have not exaxctly spoken about why you would make a good law student.