Page 1 of 1

Will someone please critique my DS??

Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:58 pm
by dlee975
Thanks All....done

Re: Will someone please critique my DS??

Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:33 pm
by dlee975
this is my edited version. help

Re: Will someone please critique my DS??

Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:00 pm
by gdane
Uhhh... Kind of hard to critique this.

I think you drag the discrimination on a little too much. I see too much about the discrimination you went through, but not enough about what you learned from it, how your diversity makes you relevant to the law school community and most imporatantly what makes you different than every other ethnic minority.

BUT i LOVE the last sentence. Very powerful and relevant.

Re: Will someone please critique my DS??

Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:36 pm
by dlee975
hmmm.. i'm reading and really only one paragraph deals with the discrimination. I can see how I need to include how I grew from this and how these experiences make me unique.. I'll see what I can do. Thanks for the input.