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Although I was a different person, I still possessed a deep, lingering sense of inadequacy, because I believed my past would be a portent of my future and that this second college endeavor would end up only slightly different than my first.

My question is, does there need to be a comma after "a portent of my future" or not?

landmanpat wrote:Although I was a different person, I still possessed a deep, lingering sense of inadequacy, because I believed my past would be a portent of my future and that this second college endeavor would end up only slightly different than my first.

My question is, does there need to be a comma after "a portent of my future" or not?

I had to read "be a portent of my future" three times. While technically accurate, it is a bit stuffy and verbose to me. I would simply replace it with "portend". And, no comma.

Thanks!

+1

"that this" is just unnecessarily wordy and the sentence seems ridiculously circular as well. I'd recommend streamlining the sentence, using only the necessary words without trying to impress admissions offices. They read enough that they know how to say what needs to be said.

Although I was a different person

No you weren't. What do you mean, more confident?

I still possessed a deep, lingering sense of inadequacy

Still indicates that it had lingered.

because I believed my past would be a portent of my future and that this second college endeavor would end up only slightly different than my first.

Did you possess a sense of inadequacy because you thought past is prologue, or did your lingering sense of inadequacy lead you to believe you'd repeat earlier mistakes?

The direction of causation strikes me as odd. Wouldn't a general characteristic cause a specific manifestation, rather than the other way around?

Because I was confident, I knew I would succeed this time. SURE.
Because I knew I would succeed this time, I was confident. RLY?

Just my $.02

From another English teacher. . . some of the above advice is good.

To answer your question, no comma necessary.