Marry for in-state tuition? Forum

Kingoflaw88 · Post by **Kingoflaw88** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:01 pm

Has anyone considered doing this? Say I've been with my SO for approx. 5 years and SO moved to where I am attending law school and now works full time. If she gains residency I could theoretically marry her to get in-state for the next 2 years. I'm not wanting to marry her right now otherwise and would not have a whole wedding ceremony etc., but simply legally marry through a justice of peace and then after law school do the rest. Is this crazy? What concerns should I have if I decide to go through with this?

Pink · Post by **Pink** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:03 pm

Kingoflaw88 wrote:Has anyone considered doing this? Say I've been with my SO for approx. 5 years and SO moved to where I am attending law school and now works full time. If she gains residency I could theoretically marry her to get in-state for the next 2 years. I'm not wanting to marry her right now otherwise and would not have a whole wedding ceremony etc., but simply legally marry through a justice of peace and then after law school do the rest. Is this crazy? What concerns should I have if I decide to go through with this?

Then don't.

OGR3 · Post by **OGR3** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:05 pm

Kingoflaw88 wrote:Has anyone considered doing this? Say I've been with my SO for approx. 5 years and SO moved to where I am attending law school and now works full time. If she gains residency I could theoretically marry her to get in-state for the next 2 years. I'm not wanting to marry her right now otherwise and would not have a whole wedding ceremony etc., but simply legally marry through a justice of peace and then after law school do the rest. Is this crazy? What concerns should I have if I decide to go through with this?

Marrying for $8,000 in annual tuition is a worse idea than marrying somebody because they drive a 10 year old Porsche.

You can often use the fact that you are moving to be with someone you've dated for 5 years as a partial rationale for in-state residency as it is, the boost for marriage would be minimal IMO.

If you're going to marry someone for reasons other than love, do it because they're wealthy or you need a green card, any other reason is stupid.

Edit: Though I must admit, that's gotta be quite the romantic proposal. My fiancee would have killed me if I had even mentioned such an idea...

sullidop · Post by **sullidop** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:09 pm

This might be the worst thread since the FOB fiasco.

Kingoflaw88 · Post by **Kingoflaw88** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:10 pm

It would actually be closer to $20k/year. Saving $40k in loans is not a small deal. What if you plan on most likely marrying them in the future, but dont want to do it while your in law school.

Kingoflaw88 · Post by **Kingoflaw88** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:11 pm

If it makes a difference, I'm older as well, ~30yo and dont really have any assets.

OGR3 · Post by **OGR3** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:14 pm

Kingoflaw88 wrote:It would actually be closer to $20k/year. Saving $40k in loans is not a small deal. What if you plan on most likely marrying them in the future, but dont want to do it while your in law school.

The amount of money is a non-issue. This is similar to couples who move in together because they'll save on rent, not because they have actually thought out what effect such a move would have on their relationship.

If you're going to get married, do it right the first time. Also, it's common knowledge that a lot of people change considerably over the course of law school, why don't you give it at least a year to see if you become even more inconsiderate?

applepiecrust · Post by **applepiecrust** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:15 pm

OGR3 wrote:
Kingoflaw88 wrote:Has anyone considered doing this? Say I've been with my SO for approx. 5 years and SO moved to where I am attending law school and now works full time. If she gains residency I could theoretically marry her to get in-state for the next 2 years. I'm not wanting to marry her right now otherwise and would not have a whole wedding ceremony etc., but simply legally marry through a justice of peace and then after law school do the rest. Is this crazy? What concerns should I have if I decide to go through with this?
Marrying for $8,000 in annual tuition is a worse idea than marrying somebody because they drive a 10 year old Porsche.

You can often use the fact that you are moving to be with someone you've dated for 5 years as a partial rationale for in-state residency as it is, the boost for marriage would be minimal IMO.

If you're going to marry someone for reasons other than love, do it because they're wealthy or you need a green card, any other reason is stupid.

Edit: Though I must admit, that's gotta be quite the romantic proposal. My fiancee would have killed me if I had even mentioned such an idea...

Lol at marrying for (just) wealth or for a green card.

(/not saying I wouldn't be tempted by the idea of marrying for a green card :p. But it wouldn't work with DOMA in place.)

Kingoflaw88 · Post by **Kingoflaw88** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:19 pm

I'm a 1L now and have lived with SO for almost 3 years now.

OGR3 · Post by **OGR3** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:23 pm

Kingoflaw88 wrote:I'm a 1L now and have lived with SO for almost 3 years now.

Dude, my point was either marry her for realsies (whatever your definition of that may be) or wait. Living with an SO, even unmarried can have an influence on residency. Have you checked with your appeals office?

Marrying to save money on tuition is the antithesis of a girl's dream wedding.

Also, I don't know which state you're in, but I was able to get in-state my first year in PA based on a number of factors, including moving with my girlfriend across the country. Most appeals are done on a holistic basis.

esch8 · Post by **esch8** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:27 pm

trust me, marrying for the wrong reasons is a bad idea. It will stress your relationship if she has other expectations. If she is with you during law school and then you guys divorce you could be stuck with alimony. It could cause you a lot of stress if you don't feel like you're "really" married but just in a sham marriage. Don't get married unless you are doing it for the right reasons. I actually have experience with this, but don't want to get into it.

Kingoflaw88 · Post by **Kingoflaw88** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:33 pm

The state I'm in is pretty strict on what they allow, I have met with a in-state tuition counselor, not about this specifically, but more generally. I would probably get a pre-nup as well even though she is the one with a great job and I've got nothing. It's not ideal, but if I plan on doing it in a couple years anyways, might as well do it now and save $40k. I just don't want to do the whole mess right now while I'm still in school

OGR3 · Post by **OGR3** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:36 pm

Kingoflaw88 wrote:The state I'm in is pretty strict on what they allow, I have met with a in-state tuition counselor, not about this specifically, but more generally. I would probably get a pre-nup as well even though she is the one with a great job and I've got nothing. It's not ideal, but if I plan on doing it in a couple years anyways, might as well do it now and save $40k. I just don't want to do the whole mess right now while I'm still in school

Pre-nup + marrying for lower tuition + courthouse ceremony because you don't want to plan a wedding right now = marital bliss

I'm done dealing with the flame.

iShotFirst · Post by **iShotFirst** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:37 pm

Well this is pretty crazy but even if you did it, better check the state's regulations first! I assumed that my wife would become a resident when we were married. She did not, under my state's law you have to live in the state for a year no matter what. I'm sure this isnt the only state with this rule.

Nicholasnickynic · Post by **Nicholasnickynic** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:39 pm

Kingoflaw88 wrote:The state I'm in is pretty strict on what they allow, I have met with a in-state tuition counselor, not about this specifically, but more generally. I would probably get a pre-nup as well even though she is the one with a great job and I've got nothing. It's not ideal, but if I plan on doing it in a couple years anyways, might as well do it now and save $40k. I just don't want to do the whole mess right now while I'm still in school

nice attitude. Maybe just tell her what you've said in this post.

Stonewall · Post by **Stonewall** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:45 pm

sure. why not

Kingoflaw88 · Post by **Kingoflaw88** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:49 pm

Nicholasnickynic wrote:
Kingoflaw88 wrote:The state I'm in is pretty strict on what they allow, I have met with a in-state tuition counselor, not about this specifically, but more generally. I would probably get a pre-nup as well even though she is the one with a great job and I've got nothing. It's not ideal, but if I plan on doing it in a couple years anyways, might as well do it now and save $40k. I just don't want to do the whole mess right now while I'm still in school
nice attitude. Maybe just tell her what you've said in this post.

By "mess" I meant all the planning and the parties and the pictures and the costs etc. I want to be able to just focus on school for now.

albusdumbledore · Post by **albusdumbledore** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:53 pm

All of your saved tuition dollars will be blown in the divorce settlement.

brose · Post by **brose** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 4:40 pm

albusdumbledore wrote:All of your saved tuition dollars will be blown in the divorce settlement.

Kingoflaw88 · Post by **Kingoflaw88** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 5:09 pm

I figured given the general aversion to debt from the members of TLS there might be more supporters of my idea. I'm not saying this is a good idea for most, but I figured given the totality of my circumstances it might make sense.

esch8 · Post by **esch8** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:09 pm

wow. I'm also against all the expensive wedding industry crap. There are ways to do a wedding in a nice way that don't cost much. Do you think our great grandparents went 40k in debt for a public bonanza? no.

If your attitude was, we're going to get married anyway. We're totally in love. Should we hurry up and maybe elope or do a nice/small/inexpensive wedding for our families, or should we wait a couple years so we can have a ridiculous party. Then people might be saying go for it!

But your attitude is really demeaning to your girlfriend and just shows no redeeming qualities. Why don't you "really" want to get married?

pattonthicke · Post by **pattonthicke** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:17 pm

Nicholasnickynic wrote:
Kingoflaw88 wrote:The state I'm in is pretty strict on what they allow, I have met with a in-state tuition counselor, not about this specifically, but more generally. I would probably get a pre-nup as well even though she is the one with a great job and I've got nothing. It's not ideal, but if I plan on doing it in a couple years anyways, might as well do it now and save $40k. I just don't want to do the whole mess right now while I'm still in school

1. You need a poll
2. Nothwithstanding the cheaper tuition or anything law related, the bolded is an excellent reason to marry her.
3. Flame

HelltotheNo · Post by **HelltotheNo** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:21 pm

I guess this the reason I keep checking this forum. Great thread.

Kingoflaw88 · Post by **Kingoflaw88** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:47 pm

esch8 wrote:wow. I'm also against all the expensive wedding industry crap. There are ways to do a wedding in a nice way that don't cost much. Do you think our great grandparents went 40k in debt for a public bonanza? no.

If your attitude was, we're going to get married anyway. We're totally in love. Should we hurry up and maybe elope or do a nice/small/inexpensive wedding for our families, or should we wait a couple years so we can have a ridiculous party. Then people might be saying go for it!

But your attitude is really demeaning to your girlfriend and just shows no redeeming qualities. Why don't you "really" want to get married?

I don't "really" want to get married because I wanted to wait until I was done with school so that I (a) would have to worry about everything while in school so that I could focus solely on my studies and (b) I wanted to put school behind me, get a job and some financial footing before getting married. I just seems more logical to wait until I graduate to take that next step in my life.

AreJay711 · Post by **AreJay711** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:56 pm

Kingoflaw88 wrote:
esch8 wrote:wow. I'm also against all the expensive wedding industry crap. There are ways to do a wedding in a nice way that don't cost much. Do you think our great grandparents went 40k in debt for a public bonanza? no.

If your attitude was, we're going to get married anyway. We're totally in love. Should we hurry up and maybe elope or do a nice/small/inexpensive wedding for our families, or should we wait a couple years so we can have a ridiculous party. Then people might be saying go for it!

But your attitude is really demeaning to your girlfriend and just shows no redeeming qualities. Why don't you "really" want to get married?

I don't "really" want to get married because I wanted to wait until I was done with school so that I (a) would have to worry about everything while in school so that I could focus solely on my studies and (b) I wanted to put school behind me, get a job and some financial footing before getting married. I just seems more logical to wait until I graduate to take that next step in my life.

Is it that you really want to marry her but just aren't in a financially secure position to do so or that you don't want to marry her? If you graduated and got a job tomorrow would you want to get married then?

I'm honestly all for marrying straight up and blatantly for money but I doubt your gf feels the same way. Also, you kinda have the cart before the horse with this wedding don't you think?

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