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I don't know about this DS. Opinions please?

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:43 pm
by Lady_In_Red
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Re: I don't know about this DS. Opinions please?

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:56 pm
by CanadianWolf
Of course you can submit this as a diversity statement. The first portion is better than the last segment of your essay. Consider revising the two sentences starting with the word "consequently" to offer more mature observations.

Re: I don't know about this DS. Opinions please?

Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:15 pm
by Lady_In_Red
What do you mean by more mature observations? Example?

Re: I don't know about this DS. Opinions please?

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 1:51 pm
by Lady_In_Red
This may be too soon...but bump?

Re: I don't know about this DS. Opinions please?

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:57 pm
by EbonyEsq
Lady_In_Red wrote:Consequently, I have made it a practice to reject questionable ideas, accept better ones, and critique those that fail to make vital considerations. In this way, my experiences have equipped me to contribute to the creation of an environment where true, unbridled intellectual discourse can take place.
Not sure how this correlates with appreciating your childhood and creating an identity of your own. It leaves room for interpretation in defining what is a "questionable" idea...what is a "better" idea. Perhaps you can be more specific?

Unbirdled intellectual discourse?? :? :? On what exactly?

Also, you seem to be indirectly casting judgment on those who also casted judgment on you:
Still, I value this particular childhood experience because I saw how being close-minded makes it difficult to appreciate variety and causes people to persist in their faulty perceptions of the world
Try explaining how you used their judgment to create your own definition of what it meant to be Naija American without also labeling them. Does that make sense?
Lady_In_Red wrote:Today, I embrace my own definition of what it means to be African American. I enjoy activities that integrate both aspects of my cultural heritage, such as speaking Nigerian Pidgin English and listening to ragtime music. I believe I experience of the best of both worlds.
And by extension you also embrace your own definition of what it means to by Nigerian, not so? Mention this.