coleslawblog: Two lawyers walk into a bar...
Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 4:48 pm
coleslawblog.com: Two lawyers walk into a bar and other treaded-over conversations.
Law School: The Apocalypse or am I just taking a piss?
August 26, 2008
As I start my first day of law school there are several options that are available to relieve the unprecedented aggravation I will soon encounter. Sitting in my first class a few thoughts occurred to me as to how I could alleviate the coal-crushing pressure that I will be forced to impose on myself. I am only comforted by the hopeful notion that by the end of the semester I will shit out a diamond and retire happily (barring that it passes the Kimberley Process and doesn’t fall under “conflict diamond” status).
As I waited in horror for my name to be called, I tried to think of some ways that I could successfully get through this, relieve stress, and vent accordingly. This list included 1.) extensive complaining, 2.) taking a shit, 3.) a habitual regimen of chronic masturbation, or 4.) starting a blog. So I decided to do the most painful thing and start a blog. Besides, I’m chafing already as it is.
In the coming months I will subject you, my fortuitous reader(s) to my daily thoughts and grimaces.
Now I know that most people say that starting a blog is so bland and cliche, but so is that statement. By now, even that statement and this one explaining it is so largely unoriginal that you can go on in continuation for as long as you want to carry it. In this blog I will try not to be overtly unoriginal and will refrain from making stupid anecdotes, lawyer jokes, and overused idioms that everyone hates. But I digress.
A lot of people ask “why do this?” and my answer is that I “don’t know but don’t want a job.” From an early age it was institutionalized in me to be the ultimate self-loather, which essentially made law school a fucking inevitability. Others say that if you “don’t like to argue” then you can’t be a lawyer. I personally hate arguing but am good at it. Does being good at something mean that you should make it your pursuit, or do you have to like it? Either way, it’s better than getting a fucking job.
So join me on my journey and enjoy my transformation from introverted polite nice guy to introverted hermetic shut-in, douche. I can’t promise that this will be funny, as I just learned that this could be construed as a guarantee and hence make me liable for breach of contract. (You don’t have to laugh at that.)
If you like what I’m writing, then great. If you don’t, fuck yourself. I don’t give a crap. Speaking of that, I’m going to go see if number 2 on my list can do what this post has failed to accomplish. So until next time, fuck off.
Law School: The Apocalypse or am I just taking a piss?
August 26, 2008
As I start my first day of law school there are several options that are available to relieve the unprecedented aggravation I will soon encounter. Sitting in my first class a few thoughts occurred to me as to how I could alleviate the coal-crushing pressure that I will be forced to impose on myself. I am only comforted by the hopeful notion that by the end of the semester I will shit out a diamond and retire happily (barring that it passes the Kimberley Process and doesn’t fall under “conflict diamond” status).
As I waited in horror for my name to be called, I tried to think of some ways that I could successfully get through this, relieve stress, and vent accordingly. This list included 1.) extensive complaining, 2.) taking a shit, 3.) a habitual regimen of chronic masturbation, or 4.) starting a blog. So I decided to do the most painful thing and start a blog. Besides, I’m chafing already as it is.
In the coming months I will subject you, my fortuitous reader(s) to my daily thoughts and grimaces.
Now I know that most people say that starting a blog is so bland and cliche, but so is that statement. By now, even that statement and this one explaining it is so largely unoriginal that you can go on in continuation for as long as you want to carry it. In this blog I will try not to be overtly unoriginal and will refrain from making stupid anecdotes, lawyer jokes, and overused idioms that everyone hates. But I digress.
A lot of people ask “why do this?” and my answer is that I “don’t know but don’t want a job.” From an early age it was institutionalized in me to be the ultimate self-loather, which essentially made law school a fucking inevitability. Others say that if you “don’t like to argue” then you can’t be a lawyer. I personally hate arguing but am good at it. Does being good at something mean that you should make it your pursuit, or do you have to like it? Either way, it’s better than getting a fucking job.
So join me on my journey and enjoy my transformation from introverted polite nice guy to introverted hermetic shut-in, douche. I can’t promise that this will be funny, as I just learned that this could be construed as a guarantee and hence make me liable for breach of contract. (You don’t have to laugh at that.)
If you like what I’m writing, then great. If you don’t, fuck yourself. I don’t give a crap. Speaking of that, I’m going to go see if number 2 on my list can do what this post has failed to accomplish. So until next time, fuck off.