Spouse of Law School Applicant Support Group Forum

[VictoryFord]

Hello I'm not a SO of anyone applying this cycle, but last year my ex-boyfriend (then boyfriend) applied to law school and I had to hold his hand through the whole insane process. As it turns out, he got rejected from EVERYWHERE he applied to except Cornell, so it was actually really stressful and ugly, the whole process.

Sure... he, like, THREW stuff.
Not at me, though. But he was all angry until GULC came.
I'm glad your husband's doing better Note that he's my EX boyfriend!

nesker?

[murielg]

Just bumping this thread to say I'm so glad to read about people in the same situation I'm currently in. Any updates? I'm hoping everyone's spouse/SO got into their desired school. We're waiting on his LSAT scores to come on Monday..then the true madness can begin.

[FacistCommunist]

I've been driving my girlfriend crazy for months. I had her proctoring PTs over the summer and all I do now is talk about the schools I want to attend with my unreleased LSAT scores.

I'm planning on going to school in Chicago, New York, DC or Boston, but she was not happy with me when I started talking about my change of heart and desire to go to U of South Dakota.

[Spor]

I'm a 1L who got married 2 months before starting law school. We moved to a new city 1500 miles away from anyone or anything we knew. For the most part, it's been great. But there are surely some big down sides.

Somewhat naively, I thought I could finish school by 9 or so, leaving us time to just chill together. That hasn't been the case. It isn't uncommon for me to leave at 8:30am and not be done with school until midnight; by that point my wife has gone to bed. Maybe it's different at other schools, or maybe it's just the people I know here, but at Northwestern everyone works that hard.

That's been the hardest part, just never really seeing each other. We lived together for a year before we got married though, so we were used to seeing a lot of each other.

Moral: set realistic expectations of what you're getting into.

[murielg]

Moral: set realistic expectations of what you're getting into.

These seem like truly wise words. I'm hoping I fall into the supportive spouse category but I think I may be far more worried about what law school will be like than he is. I suppose I can just focus on job markets in the areas he's considering.

[Chicklets]

Hell, I think there should be a support group for anyone that's bringing a spouse/partner to law school, haha.

Bumping this thread now that people are getting their acceptances, and having to make decisions about where to move ...

Any schools that are supportive of spouses in some way? Are there schools that have an organized spouses group? Are there spouses that have tried to get together for socializing and/or ranting about the demands of law school on their own?

[austinite13]

I so need this! I am going a bit crazy not knowing where we will end up next year. My husband is going through his mid-life crisis and although I am supportive of his decision to pursue a law degree I would be lying to say I am not a little bit scared about the whole thing. He is 40 years old and we have two kids. He is passionate about this and I would rather have him invest in a law degree than a sports car or other women.... that being said the suspense of not knowing if we get to stay here (Austin, TX) or have to move (which is also fine) is killing me. He has applied to 17 schools around the country and we have heard from 7. 10 more to go.....

[bannanagram]

I am so glad I found this thread! I think I check TLS almost as often as my husband who is the one applying! I already went through him getting a masters degree, so I'm not super concerned about adjusting to him studying all the time, but I am nervous about getting a job wherever we end up.

I've had my teaching job for 5 years in an amazingly well funded school district, so the thought of picking up our entire life, taking a pay cut of almost 50% and living off just my salary is terrifying. We currently have no UG or Grad debt, so the idea of taking on 100k is even scarier. I'm also used to living rather comfortably, so adjusting to a student lifestyle (i.e. not being able to buy all of the Crate and Barrel and Anthropologie I want) is rough.

In the end though, I believe that his 3 years in law school will be worth it. I have read enough now to understand that going to a t-14 is better than staying here and going to a t-30. I'm just trying to stay supportive on the outside while freaking out on the inside

[OrcinusOrcas]

I'm married and applied for Fall '10. My husband is very understanding and supportive, and is equally enthusiastic. He SPRINTED in the door with a big white envelope the other day, jumping up and down and waiving it in my face while I was waking up from a nap...I was all groggy and didn't even realize what was going on until he screamed "OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT!" Haha. I love him so much. He's totally into it. He even stayed in a hotel 1 block from my LSAT testing center with me the night before the test, drove me to the test center and gave me a massage to calm my nerves. I was so happy when I left the test center (knowing I'd increased my score since my first LSAT) that I did a running leap into his arms and kissed him right in the test center parking lot. He definitely feels the ups and downs of it all, and is really proud of me. I joke around a lot about how he's got "law school sympathy pains"

[CarlottaVanD]

My husband is starting to hear back from schools right now. For the last 3 months, we were sure we would be moving to LA this summer so he could go to UCLA.... but last week, he got accepted to Michigan, so now we're sure we'll be moving to Ann Arbor! It makes me wonder where we'll be sure we're moving to next month. I just want him to be happy, and I know that means him attending the best school he gets into.

We were both born and raised in the NW, and we know NO ONE in Michigan. I know he'll make friends right away in his classes, but what about me?? If he's going to be at school 16 hours a day, I'm going to need to get some people to hang out with! Does anyone know if law schools have social groups for the SOs of students? If the school he ends up at doesn't have one, and I started one, would anyone besides me show up? It makes me crazy thinking about it!

[fonzerelli]

I am very undecided with regards to the premise and acceptability of this thread.

[sirchristaylor]

I feel bad because I'm clearly annoying my girlfriend by talking incessantly about law schools and the cities my top schools are in. I think it's the money talk that's driving her the craziest - I don't think she cares about me weighing the pro's and con's of every school's scholarship offers anymore.

I drive my fiance crazy with endless chatter about where I might get in, where I might be rejected, what amount of money would make me choose this or that school, what location would be preferable over another, why I already don't care about being rejected from a specific school that is sure to reject me, why it actually isn't that great that I was/will be admitted to a particular school, etc. I'm going to tell him about this forum, but I already know he's going to roll his eyes at the thought of joining TLS. He thinks we're all cultish weirdos for spending half the day obsessing about this with complete strangers while simultaneously pressing F5 over and over again...

Maybe he's right...

[DavidYurman85]

If you guys think this is bad...just wait until they enroll. My girlfriend's school actually had a spousal/family meeting, just to give folks a heads up about the stress. And it was never ending, from the several hours of reading for class, to outline prep, to finals, to worrying about the curve, to studying for the bar(which sucks because it is in the summer), to OCI, but I will say that we laugh about it now. Well, she laughs, I'm slowly beginning to laugh. Best advice I would give is to be supportive, but don't let their stress take over your life. Oh and make sure to plan dates and actually go on them!

[rbgrocio]

If you guys think this is bad...just wait until they enroll. My girlfriend's school actually had a spousal/family meeting, just to give folks a heads up about the stress. And it was never ending, from the several hours of reading for class, to outline prep, to finals, to worrying about the curve, to studying for the bar(which sucks because it is in the summer), to OCI, but I will say that we laugh about it now. Well, she laughs, I'm slowly beginning to laugh. Best advice I would give is to be supportive, but don't let their stress take over your life. Oh and make sure to plan dates and actually go on them!

I do not think it is that bad, and I think my husband would agree. Yes, law school is a lot of damn work and a lot of stress, and a lot of worries and all that, but if you plan ahead and you keep organize you get to have time for everyone. I do not go out to clubs or anything like that, so the time my classmates spend in happy hours, I spend it with my husband and my family. I made myself a strict schedule that I have followed to the T. I wake up at 6. I'm at school from 6:45 to 5 p.m. Go home and shower, and then study some more until 10 p.m. with a half an hour to an hour break to eat and do the dishes. My husband is the one who cooks. I clean the house and do laundry on Fridays. I get to take one day of the weekend off. He has been very supportive. He is the best, to be honest.

[DavidYurman85]

If you guys think this is bad...just wait until they enroll. My girlfriend's school actually had a spousal/family meeting, just to give folks a heads up about the stress. And it was never ending, from the several hours of reading for class, to outline prep, to finals, to worrying about the curve, to studying for the bar(which sucks because it is in the summer), to OCI, but I will say that we laugh about it now. Well, she laughs, I'm slowly beginning to laugh. Best advice I would give is to be supportive, but don't let their stress take over your life. Oh and make sure to plan dates and actually go on them!

I do not think it is that bad, and I think my husband would agree. Yes, law school is a lot of damn work and a lot of stress, and a lot of worries and all that, but if you plan ahead and you keep organize you get to have time for everyone. I do not go out to clubs or anything like that, so the time my classmates spend in happy hours, I spend it with my husband and my family. I made myself a strict schedule that I have followed to the T. I wake up at 6. I'm at school from 6:45 to 5 p.m. Go home and shower, and then study some more until 10 p.m. with a half an hour to an hour break to eat and do the dishes. My husband is the one who cooks. I clean the house and do laundry on Fridays. I get to take one day of the weekend off. He has been very supportive. He is the best, to be honest.

This only sounds normal to you because you're in law school.

[englawyer]

you all should try both people applying to law schools at the same time....it's a joy!

[rocross1]

Hell, I think there should be a support group for anyone that's bringing a spouse/partner to law school, haha.

Bumping this thread now that people are getting their acceptances, and having to make decisions about where to move ...

Any schools that are supportive of spouses in some way? Are there schools that have an organized spouses group? Are there spouses that have tried to get together for socializing and/or ranting about the demands of law school on their own?

When I was at ND they were very supportive of spouses. Included spouses in student perks and had an organized group.

[fonzerelli]

I'm pretty sure my wife already trolls around on these boards to ensure I'm being "polite" to strangers, or whatever.

[utilitarianjac]

I'm pretty sure my wife already trolls around on these boards to ensure I'm being "polite" to strangers, or whatever.

I applied to law school two years ago. My wife thought I was crazy for using these boards then. The fact that I still do . . .

[prezidentv8]

I had a gf when I was applying who clearly resented the whole process. I can have serious tunnel vision at times, and I don't think the app process did the relationship any favors.

[fonzerelli]

The dynamics of this application process does promote some peculiar behavior. I, for one, have never even participated in "threads" or these types of boards before, ever. I referred to google an embarrassing amount of times in the beginning in search of meaning for various (read: all) thread acronyms. HTH IRL?

[prezidentv8]

The dynamics of this application process does promote some peculiar behavior. I, for one, have never even participated in "threads" or these types of boards before, ever. I referred to google an embarrassing amount of times in the beginning in search of meaning for various (read: all) thread acronyms. HTH IRL?

I still don't know what "HTH" means

[fonzerelli]

The dynamics of this application process does promote some peculiar behavior. I, for one, have never even participated in "threads" or these types of boards before, ever. I referred to google an embarrassing amount of times in the beginning in search of meaning for various (read: all) thread acronyms. HTH IRL?

I still don't know what "HTH" means

I wish I could help... but I'm not sure either. HTH.

[rbgrocio]

If you guys think this is bad...just wait until they enroll. My girlfriend's school actually had a spousal/family meeting, just to give folks a heads up about the stress. And it was never ending, from the several hours of reading for class, to outline prep, to finals, to worrying about the curve, to studying for the bar(which sucks because it is in the summer), to OCI, but I will say that we laugh about it now. Well, she laughs, I'm slowly beginning to laugh. Best advice I would give is to be supportive, but don't let their stress take over your life. Oh and make sure to plan dates and actually go on them!

I do not think it is that bad, and I think my husband would agree. Yes, law school is a lot of damn work and a lot of stress, and a lot of worries and all that, but if you plan ahead and you keep organize you get to have time for everyone. I do not go out to clubs or anything like that, so the time my classmates spend in happy hours, I spend it with my husband and my family. I made myself a strict schedule that I have followed to the T. I wake up at 6. I'm at school from 6:45 to 5 p.m. Go home and shower, and then study some more until 10 p.m. with a half an hour to an hour break to eat and do the dishes. My husband is the one who cooks. I clean the house and do laundry on Fridays. I get to take one day of the weekend off. He has been very supportive. He is the best, to be honest.

This only sounds normal to you because you're in law school.

It is not that I think it is normal. In my ideal world, I would not have that lifestyle. I am just saying that doing that for 3 years is really not that bad. Time flies. I am on my second semester now, and it seems like finals are already around the corner.

[faedra]

Hello, I'm new to this forum. My husband is in the process of applying to law school. It drives me crazy not knowing where we're going to be next year and whether I'll be able to find a job. Also, on top of everything else we're going to try for our first child next year. I know it's kind of crazy, but I'm older than my husband and I need to get on the baby track if I want to have a successful pregnancy. Any experiences or suggestions you'd like to share would be greatly appreciated.