Top Law Schools

Each year, prospective law students find themselves faced with a myriad of rankings, and no guidance as to which to follow. Indeed, each is crippled by a severe flaw: There is the USNWR ranking, which doesn't weigh employment heavily enough and includes cost per student; the NLJ ranking, which doesn't include boutiques; the Vault ranking, which is older than Abe Vigoda; the Princeton Review ranking, which is random; the Cooley ranking, which is made by Cooley; and the Leiter ranking, which seems good statistically but somehow always points to Chicago. In an effort to supplant the morass of inherently weak rankings that currently exist, I have decided to create the true definitive ranking system, one that takes into account all that a prospective law student should consider when choosing among the many law schools that populate are great country. What is this factor, you ask? It's simple: Tap water quality. Nothing brings employers, faculty, and top students to a school in droves like top-quality tap water, and prospective students are remiss if they gloss over this critical element. Without further ado, the rankings, with all important statistics in brackets:

1. Roger Williams Law School (THMs: 6.7 ppb/HAAs: 2.3 ppb/nitrate: 0.4 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
2. Texas Wesleyan Law School (THMs: 22.6 ppb/HAAs: 11.9 ppb/nitrate: 0.2 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
3. Charleston School of Law (THMs: 23.7 ppb/HAAs: 21.3 ppb/nitrate: 0.4 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. Boston University School of Law (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. Boston College Law School (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. New England School of Law (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. Northeastern University School of Law (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. Suffolk University Law School (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
5. University of Hawaii School of Law (THMs: 0.8 ppb/HAAs:<0.1 ppb/nitrate: 0.3 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
6. The University of Texas Law School (THMs: 30.6 ppb/HAAs: 14.8 ppb/nitrate: 0.3 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
7. George Mason School of Law (THMs: 23.0 ppb/HAAs: 16.0 ppb/nitrate: 1.0 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
8. St. Louis University Law School (THMs: 15.4 ppb/HAAs: 19.2 ppb/nitrate: 2.7 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
8. Washington University in St. Louis Law School (THMs: 15.4 ppb/HAAs: 19.2 ppb/nitrate: 2.7 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
9. University of Minnesota Law School (THMs: 29.6 ppb/HAAs: 27.3 ppb/nitrate: 0.4 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
9. University of St. Thomas School of Law (THMs: 29.6 ppb/HAAs: 27.3 ppb/nitrate: 0.4 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
10. University of Richmond Law School (THMs: 15.0 ppb/HAAs: 21.5 ppb/nitrate: 0.3 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
11. SMU Dedman School of Law (THMs: 32.1 ppb/HAAs: 24.0 ppb/nitrate: 0.3 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Brooklyn Law School (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Columbia University Law School (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Fordham University School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. New York Law School (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. New York University School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Pace University School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. St. John's University School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. City University of New York School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
13. Oklahoma City University School of Law (THMs: 40.0 ppb/HAAs: 23.5 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 2.8 ppb)
14. Georgetown

In an ironic twist of fate, Harvard Law just barely missed the cut at #4 because they are not quite in Boston, but only near Boston. Also, nice try University of Honolulu, trying to game the rankings with your sneaky name. I know you're in California.

UCLA will make it one of these years

phillywc wrote:UCLA will make it one of these years

I LOVE CHIE SATONAKA

hahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahahahahhahahhaahhahahhhaaaaaaahhhhaaaaa

Crowing wrote:

phillywc wrote:UCLA will make it one of these years

I LOVE CHIE SATONAKA

This is not the place for your 4chan-appropriate musings. This is a serious thread about the relative merits of various institutions of legal education.

wurr arazona state?

gaud wrote:wurr arazona state?

As a student with above average thirst, this ranking should be of particular interest to you. Consider transferring.

gaud wrote:wurr arazona state?

Need there to be water before it can be tested for quality bro

Crowing wrote:

phillywc wrote:UCLA will make it one of these years

I LOVE CHIE SATONAKA

ME TOO!

Chie da best. Just finished NG+. Such a great game.

Where are the DROVES of employers going

GUCL always manages to hang on to the 14 spot.

I know it's just slapped on there as a joke, but I feel compelled to say that Georgetown is in DC, which had or possibly still has not-so-good water quality, no?

NinerFan wrote:I know it's just slapped on there as a joke, but I feel compelled to say that Georgetown is in DC, which had or possibly still has not-so-good water quality, no?

Georgetown's death grip on the #14 spot transcends water quality. Also, they have enough students to qualify as a distinct city.

Fear not, Yalies: once AIII numbers are released, I will of course be adding them to the nitrate levels. Otherwise you would be penalized for your greatness, which is entirely unacceptable.

Well, I'm sold. WUSTL it is.

Mad Hatter wrote:

gaud wrote:wurr arazona state?

As a student with above average thirst, this ranking should be of particular interest to you. Consider transferring.

Well played

At least this quashes the BC v. BU debate

.

.

polareagle wrote:

Mad Hatter wrote:
7. George Mason School of Law (THMs: 23.0 ppb/HAAs: 16.0 ppb/nitrate: 1.0 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)

Alas, George Mason law school is located on a separate campus in Arlington, VA, which shares its water supply with DC. As a native Arlingtonian, I remember well the occasional boil-water warnings, and there's no way it makes the T14.

DC's water supply is only fucked up because of the lead pipes in the city, not the source.

polareagle wrote:

Mad Hatter wrote:
7. George Mason School of Law (THMs: 23.0 ppb/HAAs: 16.0 ppb/nitrate: 1.0 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)

Alas, George Mason law school is located on a separate campus in Arlington, VA, which shares its water supply with DC. As a native Arlingtonian, I remember well the occasional boil-water warnings, and there's no way it makes the T14.

The HAA level does seem somewhat high, but I think that's just part of the dropoff after the T6.

Having lived in Philadelphia when they found trace amounts of 56 different prescription drugs in the water supply I can testify that Penn, Drexel, and Temple, deserve a place. A cup a day keeps the doctor away.


Source: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nat ... ater_N.htm