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I've been lurking forums for a few months, but I've been struggling with this decision for a few weeks, and I was hoping to get some opinions from TLSers (who may have gone through similar decisions).

I'm looking to do IP law in the DC area after I graduate (sure about the DC, not about the IP), and my permanent residence is in the northern VA area. I was also UVA undergrad, so I've been in Charlottesville for a while. It's a nice town, but I think there's value in living in different places early in your life.

A somewhat simple of the breakdown between the schools would be:

UVA:
Full > half tuition (**)
DC Placement better (*)
Cost of living lower (*)

Penn:
Girlfriend - starting med school at Penn (**)
Getting out of c-ville (*)
Preferred environment (*)

There are also other small things, such as connections to a few law school profs at UVA, seemingly stronger APALSA network and certificate programs at Penn, but these are not strong factors.

I'm leaning towards Penn, but perhaps for the wrong reasons, since I feel like I'm trading money and career choices (money/DC placement) for general enjoyment of life (girlfriend/philly area), something I generally do not do. Is my mentality wrong? We've been together about a year (long-distance), and it's a fairly serious relationship.

I would greatly appreciate feedback from people who have had to make similar decisions, and whether they regretted it one way or another. At this early stage in my life (early 20s), I still struggle over the value of money, so I have trouble weighing what 100k (likely difference after tuition + higher rent) is really worth in the long run. It would be wonderful to not have to graduate with debt, but also wonderful to make these three years much more enjoyable.

One final note: is placement from UVA better for DC because there's a perceived interest in the DC area by self-selection? Would the fact that I already went to UVA undergrad/have lived in the northern Virginia area for 12 years influence this?

After taking a step back, I'm very grateful to be in a position like this, so thanks again for any feedback!

Without pics of your girlfriend, it will be difficult for anyone to really give you an answer


But seriously, I would say Penn.

I'm not sure I would buy that UVa's DC placement is significantly better. I'd believe it to be mostly self selection.

Basically I think your judgment comes down to the less money you would pay at UVa versus the opportunity to be with your serious SO at Penn. I don't think anybody can truly judge for you if it worth $100k.

That being said, I think that Penn is very viable. With $100-130k debt, if you somehow manage to do poorly and get a horribly paying (read: 50k/year) job then you can still be debt free in 10 years. If Penn would cost you $200k then I would be more hesitant as this would put you in biglaw or bust mode but I think with $100-130k debt at Penn, it isn't actually that bad of an option if you are really serious about the relationship.

contact penn about the full ride at UVA and see if they'll up your scholarship... maybe make it an easier decision

jimmyd11011 wrote:contact penn about the full ride at UVA and see if they'll up your scholarship... maybe make it an easier decision

This.

HeavenWood wrote:

jimmyd11011 wrote:contact penn about the full ride at UVA and see if they'll up your scholarship... maybe make it an easier decision

This.

I tried this at the admitted students weekend. They bumped up the scholarship slightly (from just under half to half), and said they would consider upgrading it to a Levy, but that counting on this happening "may not be realistic."

Gotta take the SO out of the equation. You've only been together a year. It's not worth it homie.

Probably UVA unless you can get Penn to up that scholarship a bit more. She's in med school so she will understand why you should go to UVA, and if it's a serious enough relationship you guys will figure out a way to stay together.

I mean, I certainly wouldn't go to penn under those circumstances, but I guess it comes down to how you feel about your SO. Long distance likely won't work with med and law school.

Go to UVA. you will save yourself more money leave more job opportunities open ( b/c you need to know where your so will be- and there is a good chance that you will have to move for her residency). While Penn will allow you to go a lot of places as well- the debt is something to consider. Both are great options- so i would consider what school you like more- and feel more comfortable at. Talk it over with her- and see what she says- but remember that this decision will affect your life aways- while she is in your life now, who knows down the road( you are in your early 20s and have been together long distance for a year) if she will stay in your life. Im not trying to be a dick, but you are both very young- and things change.

northwood wrote:Go to UVA. you will save yourself more money leave more job opportunities open ( b/c you need to know where your so will be- and there is a good chance that you will have to move for her residency). While Penn will allow you to go a lot of places as well- the debt is something to consider. Both are great options- so i would consider what school you like more- and feel more comfortable at. Talk it over with her- and see what she says- but remember that this decision will affect your life aways- while she is in your life now, who knows down the road( you are in your early 20s and have been together long distance for a year) if she will stay in your life. Im not trying to be a dick, but you are both very young- and things change.

To be fair, making decisions based on her being in your life (her residency, etc.) and not being in your life (things change) at the same time may not be an effective planning mechanism.

Also, most anything that can be said to discredit making a decision based on an SO can be said about doing so based on the demands and prospects of career plans, provided that you're not totally sure about what you want to do.

To be fair- this is a big decision. I personally would try to think of as many scenarios as possible before making a decision. I would then try to consider how doable a LDR is. In this case- they ahve been doing a LDR for a year( and have been dating for a year) A lot can change when they live together or stay in the same city. It may florish or it may fizzle. Would OP regret the choice? its up to him. Without knowing how fullly committed they are- i would tend to say take the money. Unless of course, he visited UVA and hated it, and fell in love with Upenn- then thats another story.

Its all going to come down to what OP values the most- and which school best meets his needs. This is a difficult decision.

Post pics of the girl, so we can get a better feel for the decision here. But srsly, if you really like her, get the hell out of C-ville. You shold probably do that anyway. I do think that staying in the same small town for many years can get you into a sort of mental stasis.

Unless you are going to marry this chick, and she's willing to only match for residencies in the same city you get a job in after Law school, then you shouldn't consider her.

I'm not even sure that second part is realistic.

Desert Fox wrote:Unless you are going to marry this chick, and she's willing to only match for residencies in the same city you get a job in after Law school, then you shouldn't consider her.

I'm not even sure that second part is realistic.

getting laid regularly may improve 1L grades

course that begs another question....

Borhas wrote:getting laid regularly may improve 1L grades

Then we really need to know how often she's willing to have the sex with him.

Borhas wrote:

Desert Fox wrote:Unless you are going to marry this chick, and she's willing to only match for residencies in the same city you get a job in after Law school, then you shouldn't consider her.

I'm not even sure that second part is realistic.

getting laid regularly may improve 1L grades

course that begs another question....

I'm sure he can troll for loose UVA freshmen.

18 yo >> 23 yo med student

but the med student can help you identify the stds you catch from the freshman!

Desert Fox wrote:

Borhas wrote:

Desert Fox wrote:Unless you are going to marry this chick, and she's willing to only match for residencies in the same city you get a job in after Law school, then you shouldn't consider her.

I'm not even sure that second part is realistic.

getting laid regularly may improve 1L grades

course that begs another question....

I'm sure he can troll for loose UVA freshmen.

18 yo >> 23 yo med student

this. i don't understand how anyone gets in a serious relationship before they turn 30.
99% chance you aren't going to marry this chick. you first bro, always. except in bed, that's just common courtesy.

A year isn't very long. Go w/the full ride. 100k extra is a lot of cash. For a year relationship, I personally wouldn't do it. I mean, she'll be in Med School. How often do you really think you'd be able to see her? uhh...just go to penn and don't think about it. Stupid decision but right move to take.

LettuceBeefRealTea wrote:this. i don't understand how anyone gets in a serious relationship before they turn 30.
99% chance you aren't going to marry this chick. you first bro, always. except even in bed, that's just common courtesy.

Fixed.

Thanks for all the responses (serious and otherwise ).

I don't take any of the young and foolish or one-year =/= serious relationship comments personally, since I can't deny it (I am graduating one year early from UG, and going straight to law school, so I pale in experience compared to others).

Overall, yes, tough decision to me, but I'd also like to think that if I am making a mistake here, it's one that is really not a mistake in the truest sense.

I do appreciate all the feedback. I clearly favor one side, but I want to walk myself through it logically, and make sure I won't regret the decision either way.

The fact that you have only been together for a year means that anything could happen. Even if you were together longer, anything still could happen, you would just be able to gauge better where the relationship is going. Unless you currently plan on putting a ring on it, I wouldn't go to Penn just because of the SO. Also, Penn and UVA aren't that far apart, and if you all are meant to be that shouldn't kill the relationship. It really just depends on how badly you all want it to work. I understand wanting to gtfo of Charlottesville, but it's only for 3 years and it's not like you are going to have much time to do much outside of law school. Live somewhere else when you get a job. Full tuition is a big deal. I had the same exact option, and even though I liked Penn, I didn't like it tens of thousands of dollars more than UVA. Plus even if Penn matched your scholly, it would still cost a hell of a lot more in the long run.

Source:
Been in a LDR

agatone wrote:Thanks for all the responses (serious and otherwise ).

I don't take any of the young and foolish or one-year =/= serious relationship comments personally, since I can't deny it (I am graduating one year early from UG, and going straight to law school, so I pale in experience compared to others).

Overall, yes, tough decision to me, but I'd also like to think that if I am making a mistake here, it's one that is really not a mistake in the truest sense.

I do appreciate all the feedback. I clearly favor one side, but I want to walk myself through it logically, and make sure I won't regret the decision either way.

I'll put it to you this way: You will never regret taking a free $100k, even if you lose the girl. There's literally thousands of other girls that can fill that void. However, if you go to Penn and you guys break up (hate to say it, but it's more likely than not), you will be kicking your own ass for losing $100k and the broad. Even if you do manage to stay together, when you get tired of her after a couple years, you'll still be upset you left that money on the table.

Or I'll put it to you this way: $100k is an extremely expensive prostitute. Don't do it.

Really just ignore the dating question and think if you'd be tempted to go to Philly anyway. Charlottesville for another 3 years... how bearable is that?