Oh I did apply for legal assistant positions but they never called me back. These guys are haters.
This is a big part of why I don't think you should go to law school, at least anytime soon. Based on your post history/stories, you are clearly awful at job interviews, and something about your personality* is extremely off-putting. I think you'd underperform even if you ended up at a good school.
*It may be the crazy swings between wild optimism and complete despair, it may be the "woe is me nothing is my fault" thing, it may just be Sonic the hedgehog tar, but regardless, something rubs people the wrong way.