OP: I'm sorry you came to this website expecting answers to only the simple questions that you ask. You even ruled out the obvious answer for us in your OP! How thoughtless of us. We are, after all, future attorneys, trained to think outside the box and offer unconventional solutions to everyday problems. Surely we can come up with something.
What follows is what was once some outside the box thinking. I'm not sure it will work in your case, but it's been proven in multiple other scenarios to significantly increase your chances of success at a top tier law school.
First off, realize that having a somewhat law UGPA and LSAT combination is not necessarily the death toll of your legal career. There are many successful attorneys who have graduated from "lesser" law schools and done just fine for themselves. Granted, they all graduated in an era where plush jobs were readily available to non-T14 graduates, but since we're ignoring big-picture ideas, we'll strike that consideration from the list. Either way, you need to know that a low LSAT/UGPA combo is not the end of the road for everyone. Rejoice!
Second, you should realize that...I can't even keep sunshine-up-your-ass rhetoric any longer. Retake.
ETA: Srsly, OP. Check this thread out. http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=135280