When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

(Where, When and What Did You Think)
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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:15 pm

I actually pretty much agree with the job interview analogy. But that's because I think law school is pretty much a job.

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lawschool22
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby lawschool22 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:16 pm

cron1834 wrote:
midwest17 wrote:
cron1834 wrote:
CookieDough wrote:I'm planning on bringing my husband to a few out of state ASWs. As was mentioned, I'm basically asking him to move across country potentially, so he needs to check the cities out. I was only planning on bringing him to the reception type stuff though. Glad this seems acceptable-I was a little worried I'd be the only one who brought someone!


Checking out the city seems perfectly legit. What I don't understand is why (according to TLS reports) some people are bringing SOs into classrooms, on tours, etc. Um, they're not going to the school? What do they care what Professor Preftige's contracts class is like? Does not compute.


My SO will be coming with me for visits. I'm not sure if she'll want to sit in on classes and tours, but I would like it if she did. She knows me well, and I trust her opinion in helping me figure out where would be a good fit for me. And when it comes time to talk about where we're going to move to, it will help if she has an idea of what I like and don't like about the schools, just like it will help if I have an idea what she does and doesn't like about the cities.

Communication, bro.


I'm not going to belabor this, so this is my final thought - but, if your SO isn't an attorney or law student, why on earth should their "communication" and "likes/dislikes" have a thing to do with what campus and classroom YOU spend your time in? She won't be attending. If you buy a car, presumably she'll get to drive it. If you get a house, presumably she'll live in it. But she's not going to class with you dude! Do you go on job interviews with her, too?

Again, the city of residence thing is legit, I concede that. No dispute there.


I think you're ignoring the simple fact that the perspective of a person who knows you intimately can often be valuable when facing big life decisions.

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midwest17
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby midwest17 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:19 pm

A. Nony Mouse wrote:I actually pretty much agree with the job interview analogy. But that's because I think law school is pretty much a job.


Admitted students visits aren't interviews.

But yeah, if you think the culture of a law school should be irrelevant to the decision, I agree it wouldn't make much sense to bring an SO. But then going to admitted students weekends in general is pretty pointless.

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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:37 pm

midwest17 wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:I actually pretty much agree with the job interview analogy. But that's because I think law school is pretty much a job.


Admitted students visits aren't interviews.

But yeah, if you think the culture of a law school should be irrelevant to the decision, I agree it wouldn't make much sense to bring an SO. But then going to admitted students weekends in general is pretty pointless.

Oh, I think law school culture is fairly relevant. But then, workplace culture is extremely relevant in taking a job, and I can't have my SO come along so I can ask his opinion on that. Also, I feel pretty able to assess a LS's culture on my own. The decision whether to go to law school? Helpful to have an SO who knows me give input. Which law school? The SO can give input just fine based on my description of my experience at a place. What you describe sounds kind of like having the SO along to second-guess my impressions, which would really annoy me.

But obviously if having their feedback be based on having seen it for themselves, bring the SO along. Personally, I would not see any purpose in doing so, but as I said above, there's no resist anyone should care what I think.

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midwest17
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby midwest17 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:48 pm

A. Nony Mouse wrote:
midwest17 wrote:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:I actually pretty much agree with the job interview analogy. But that's because I think law school is pretty much a job.


Admitted students visits aren't interviews.

But yeah, if you think the culture of a law school should be irrelevant to the decision, I agree it wouldn't make much sense to bring an SO. But then going to admitted students weekends in general is pretty pointless.

Oh, I think law school culture is fairly relevant. But then, workplace culture is extremely relevant in taking a job, and I can't have my SO come along so I can ask his opinion on that. Also, I feel pretty able to assess a LS's culture on my own. The decision whether to go to law school? Helpful to have an SO who knows me give input. Which law school? The SO can give input just fine based on my description of my experience at a place. What you describe sounds kind of like having the SO along to second-guess my impressions, which would really annoy me.

But obviously if having their feedback be based on having seen it for themselves, bring the SO along. Personally, I would not see any purpose in doing so, but as I said above, there's no resist anyone should care what I think.


It obviously depends on the precise relationship. Personally, I trust my SO to challenge me on impressions that may have just been based on having an independently bad day, something I know from experience I'm susceptible to.

Anyways, the job interview analogy is still bad. No one is suggesting that you have your SO sit in on your LS interview. There's not really any good analogy to ASWs in job-hunting, except maybe social events for prospective hires at some places, at which I don't think it's out of place to bring one's spouse.

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Pneumonia
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby Pneumonia » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:50 pm

This is a good and hilarious thread regarding parents and ASW.

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=205439

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06102016
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby 06102016 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:51 pm

..

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cron1834
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby cron1834 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 7:34 pm

+ 1 to A.Nony.Mouse and Slack. It's some pretty codependent ish to not trust your own eyes and ears on a lousy campus visit. Wtf is an SO going to tell you about law school culture, anyway? What would that conversation even look like? "Oh, honey, the quad was beautiful, but that guy scarfing down h'orderves looks like a gunner! You know you hate that!"

LOL.

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ManoftheHour
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby ManoftheHour » Thu Feb 13, 2014 7:41 pm

lol @ bringing parents.

I wouldn't bring a SO because most likely he/she will end up jealous if the other people visiting are hot.

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cron1834
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby cron1834 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 8:00 pm

ManoftheHour wrote:lol @ bringing parents.

I wouldn't bring a SO because most likely he/she will end up jealous if the other people visiting are hot.


:lol:

I can't imagine bringing my last girl with me to UCLA or USC asw, for example. Even the brochures may have been dicey.

potterdam
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby potterdam » Fri Feb 14, 2014 1:43 am

Brettanomyces wrote:
potterdam wrote:
cron1834 wrote:Is bringing parents generally a K-JD thing? As a nontrad, it didn't even occur to me that people might do this until I read about it on TLS. Like, it would wildly inconvenience all parties if I had to coordinate some shit with the folks!


K-JD - I've seen this everywhere but can't find out what it means, what does it stand for?


Kindergarten to JD.

No break in between.
Ahh, thank you!

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Dingo Starr
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby Dingo Starr » Fri Feb 14, 2014 3:26 am

slackademic wrote:
Mal Reynolds wrote:Don't bring your parents to admit days. Cut the cord.

This. Same applies to SOs. You're going to break up anyway, so might as well get it out of the way.

Witnessed the SO tag-a-long today at an accepted student event and had this very thought.
You know you can do better... and will.

Moonlight
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby Moonlight » Fri Feb 14, 2014 12:53 pm

Dingo Starr wrote:
slackademic wrote:
Mal Reynolds wrote:Don't bring your parents to admit days. Cut the cord.

This. Same applies to SOs. You're going to break up anyway, so might as well get it out of the way.

Witnessed the SO tag-a-long today at an accepted student event and had this very thought.
You know you can do better... and will.



Haha guess that means life is good for singles :P

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06102016
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby 06102016 » Fri Feb 14, 2014 1:32 pm

..

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052220151
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby 052220151 » Fri Feb 14, 2014 2:06 pm

Job interview analogy is good. Don't bring your gf on the tours/classes bro. If you do, make sure she doesn't ask questions.

Granted I'm chronically single, and I haven't lived with my folks in nearly a decade, but the thought of bringing anyone along to an ASW and weighing in on my decision (besides maybe something along the lines of "that city sucks dude") seems silly. It's a potentially quarter million dollar investment you're making. Unless they are married to you, they should have close to zero say. I'm going to a ASW next month and I'm jazzed, but I don't get the utility of going. At the end of the day I'm going to pick my school based solely on a combination of COA and job prospects.

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Banshee
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby Banshee » Fri Feb 14, 2014 3:24 pm

Here's my thoughts on the SO debate....like anything, it's going to be relationship specific. Your gf/bf of three months, doesn't need to come or play a role in your decision making process. Your bf/gf of many years or husband/wife that is going to move across country/help support you both financially and emotionally should definitely get a say.

I plan on bringing my SO to ASWs because his opinion counts. That's how real, adult relationships work. I want him to experience the cities and have an opinion on where we are going to live. I'd give him the option to attend tours and class visits, but I would definitely want him to come to receptions. He should meet people, see what my life is going to be about for the next few years, maybe meet some other SOs he can be friends with.

The point is, I want him to know as much about law school as possible, so he can be supportive and understanding while I am in school. That's how relationships last. While I fully expect law school to help me grow as a person, I want my SO to grow with me. If you don't, then you shouldn't be in a relationship anyway, regardless of law school.

And don't invite your parents to ASW. Law school is for adults. Invite your parents once you are attending school and give them your own tour of campus.

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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby BigZuck » Fri Feb 14, 2014 3:54 pm

XO_MissCourtney wrote:Here's my thoughts on the SO debate....like anything, it's going to be relationship specific. Your gf/bf of three months, doesn't need to come or play a role in your decision making process. Your bf/gf of many years or husband/wife that is going to move across country/help support you both financially and emotionally should definitely get a say.

I plan on bringing my SO to ASWs because his opinion counts. That's how real, adult relationships work. I want him to experience the cities and have an opinion on where we are going to live. I'd give him the option to attend tours and class visits, but I would definitely want him to come to receptions. He should meet people, see what my life is going to be about for the next few years, maybe meet some other SOs he can be friends with.

The point is, I want him to know as much about law school as possible, so he can be supportive and understanding while I am in school. That's how relationships last. While I fully expect law school to help me grow as a person, I want my SO to grow with me. If you don't, then you shouldn't be in a relationship anyway, regardless of law school.

And don't invite your parents to ASW. Law school is for adults. Invite your parents once you are attending school and give them your own tour of campus.


Law school is almost certainly not going to help you grow as a person, whatever that means.

I think the best thing a SO can do is keep you grounded and isolated from a lot of the law school bs. You definitely want them to be understanding of demands on your time, etc., but IMO they don't need to know a whole lot about law school itself. I can see bringing them along if its a new city, but I can't imagine bringing them to mock classes and stuff.

YMMV I guess.

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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Fri Feb 14, 2014 4:31 pm

Didn't bring my husband of 8 years to my law school visits. His opinion counts, but he also trusts me to make my own decisions and give him the information he'd need to be helpful if I wanted his input on something specific.

Which isn't to say you shouldn't bring your SO if it's important to you. Just that not bringing them has nothing to do with what you think of their opinion.

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Banshee
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby Banshee » Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:54 pm

Maybe the best way to look at it is people should be understanding either way.

For people who are single or who don't want to bring their SO that's great, but keep in mind that people who do want to bring their SO are probably doing so for a very good reason. Chances are the SO is going to be making some pretty big life changes (moving across country, getting a new job, dealing with finances being cut in half, etc...) just so the student can go to law school. If the SO is there with the student it's probably because they're trying to make some big life decisions, not because Sally Student wanted to bring her boyfriend for a weekend getaway.

And for people who do bring their SO, it's important to remind them that while their opinion matters greatly to you, it doesn't matter to anyone else. If they are going to join you at events, it's best that they are a silent observer and the two of you can discuss your thoughts and opinions later in private.

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kellohitty
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby kellohitty » Sun Feb 16, 2014 10:49 pm

Pneumonia wrote:This is a good and hilarious thread regarding parents and ASW.

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=205439


180. Good work TLS.

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PattyCake
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby PattyCake » Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:23 am

XO_MissCourtney wrote:Maybe the best way to look at it is people should be understanding either way.

For people who are single or who don't want to bring their SO that's great, but keep in mind that people who do want to bring their SO are probably doing so for a very good reason. Chances are the SO is going to be making some pretty big life changes (moving across country, getting a new job, dealing with finances being cut in half, etc...) just so the student can go to law school. If the SO is there with the student it's probably because they're trying to make some big life decisions, not because Sally Student wanted to bring her boyfriend for a weekend getaway.

And for people who do bring their SO, it's important to remind them that while their opinion matters greatly to you, it doesn't matter to anyone else. If they are going to join you at events, it's best that they are a silent observer and the two of you can discuss your thoughts and opinions later in private.


Wouldn't have brought my husband until one school specifically suggested he come to a class. They pointed out that my family will be making a lot of sacrifices (mostly time) and that it is helpful for spouses/SO's to understand WHY schoolwork has to always come before family time. You spend a lot of time being grilled in law school, and it helps for your spouse to know what you're facing if you cave and watch a movie instead of preparing. He only went to one class but my husband came out of it with a much better understanding of what I was getting myself into.

On the other hand, we were "lucky" and happened to see a class where one student was being hammered for 30 minutes straight (I know people can be on the hot seat for an hour or more, and I'm also sure the student didn't feel "lucky"). The point is, most of the profs I've sat in on have avoided cold calling because there was a guest, so I'm not sure there would have been a point in his attending on a standard visit.

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Nova
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Re: When a law preview day invite says guests are welcome...

Postby Nova » Tue Apr 15, 2014 12:25 pm

PattyCake wrote: it is helpful for spouses/SO's to understand WHY schoolwork has to always come before family time. .

Huh? Law school is cake 10 months out of the year.

You spend a lot of time being grilled in law school, and it helps for your spouse to know what you're facing if you cave and watch a movie instead of preparing.

Its really not that bad. The people prepping to look good during cold calls are usually wasting a lot of time. All that really matters is knowing the law and how to apply it.




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