Where would Jesus go to Law School?

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Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Harvard
94
11%
Notre Dame
223
27%
Cooley
162
20%
Cornell
27
3%
UC Berkeley
148
18%
Other
174
21%
 
Total votes: 828

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zanda
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby zanda » Sun Mar 27, 2011 2:45 am

Nowhere. An allegedly omniscient figure would know better than to enter law school.

skippy1
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby skippy1 » Sun Mar 27, 2011 2:49 am

What about Regent - would he not have gotten the emails?

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geoduck
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby geoduck » Sun Mar 27, 2011 3:01 am

I'm fairly certain he'd just stay in state and go to Bar Ilan.

bananasinpajamas
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby bananasinpajamas » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:08 am

zanda wrote:Nowhere. An allegedly omniscient figure would know better than to enter law school.


lol

freestallion
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby freestallion » Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:20 am

bananasinpajamas wrote:
zanda wrote:Nowhere. An allegedly omniscient figure would know better than to enter law school.


lol


:lol:

I say he goes to medical school instead so he can save lives :wink:

CanadianWolf
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby CanadianWolf » Thu Aug 25, 2011 10:58 pm

Wouldn't be medical school since Jesus saves souls, not lives.

UMiamiCane
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby UMiamiCane » Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:32 pm

Obviously Jesus would follow Tim Tebow and go to UF. :roll: Duh

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downing
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby downing » Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:56 am

Did anyone else bother to think of People's College of Law? I'm sure Jesus, in his advanced humility, would be most comfortable around an equally humble school. He would not be impressed by the pomp and circumstance of so many other different law schools with their prestigious name value and technologically updated facilities.

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sdwhodat
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby sdwhodat » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:30 pm

The Kim Jong illest wrote:Jesus would go to med school, guys.


Why would Jesus go to med school? All He has to say is, "You're healed," and there you go! No MD necessary ;)

The better question is, if Jesus went to law school, what would be his post-graduation plans?

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Blessedassurance
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Blessedassurance » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:44 pm

The good Lord wouldn't pass C & F. Long history of disrespect and documented disregard for the laws of men coupled with a steadfast unwillingness to reform. No attempts at rehabilitation whatsoever etc.

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Stanford4Me
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Stanford4Me » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:51 pm

Blessedassurance wrote:.

Jesus is mine....

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Blessedassurance
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Blessedassurance » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:04 pm

Stanford4Me wrote:Jesus is mine....


That's mildly disturbing.

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Stanford4Me
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Stanford4Me » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:07 pm

Blessedassurance wrote:
Stanford4Me wrote:Jesus is mine....


That's mildly disturbing.

CHECK YOU HYMNS!

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Blessedassurance
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Blessedassurance » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:14 pm

Stanford4Me wrote:
Blessedassurance wrote:
Stanford4Me wrote:Jesus is mine....


That's mildly disturbing.

CHECK YOU HYMNS!


Got it, actually that's the song that inspired the name. Silly me.

shoeshine
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby shoeshine » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:37 pm

Berkeley would love his softs, but I don't think he would fit into the S.F. Bay culture.

If he went to Harvard we would never hear the fucking end of it. Harvard ASW 2014 "Someone in this room could be the next president son of God."

He might not get into Yale.

Notre Dame...hmmm? I think he was Jewish not Catholic.

Realistically he will probably play it safe and ED to NU because of his WE (carpentry).

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Blessedassurance
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Blessedassurance » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:40 pm

shoeshine wrote:Berkeley would love his softs, but I don't think he would fit into the S.F. Bay culture.

If he went to Harvard we would never hear the fucking end of it. Harvard ASW 2014 "Someone in this room could be the next president son of God."

He might not get into Yale.

Notre Dame...hmmm? I think he was Jewish not Catholic.

Realistically he will probably play it safe and ED to NU because of his WE (carpentry).


I think ND might bite, considering the legacy angle on account of his mom.

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minnbills
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby minnbills » Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:52 pm

Harvard and Yale are just too elitist. Jesus was a poor man, and obviously not taken with either material wealth or becoming a member of the establishment (so nay to georgetown.)

Berkeley is quite pretentious, and so was Christ, Berkeley it is.

ArthuKirkland
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby ArthuKirkland » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:08 pm

This argument is absurd. It is entirely impossible to predict with any degree of certainty where Jesus would attend law school due to his complex application package.

1.) To the best of our knowledge, Jesus does not have an undergraduate degree from an accredited institution of higher learning. We would know if he did, because such an institution would undoubtedly flaunt photographs of him in their alumni publications and admissions brochures. I never received any brochures as a high school senior showing Jesus strolling across the quad or playing ultimate frisbee. If anyone has, please let me know. However, if Jesus based his PS on a famous quote ( Mike Huckabee's "I didn't major in math, I majored in miracles" comes to mind), schools might be willing to overlook this deficit.

No GPA + 175-180 LSAT = Most extreme splitter I know of.

2.) Letters of Recommendation. This is problematic. Who would write them? Obviously his Father would be helpful in this area but as an earlier poster indicated, schools generally frown on family members. Therefore, Mary and, ostensibly, Joseph, are also excluded. This would leave the Disciples, who, considering their prominence and friendship with the applicant, could likely write some very strong letters. They are problematic in that they follow him with nearly blind allegiance, suggesting the possibility of unnatural bias, but if they did write his letters, it would be best to target their letters to specific schools and take the following into consideration:

Simon called Peter-Knew the Messiah very well so could write an excellent letter. Also, generally regarded as the first Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, so in at ND and Catholic w/$. Unfortunately executed by Nero, so some possible C&F issues of his own.
Andrew-Saltire Cross of St. Andrew featured prominently on state flags of Florida & Alabama. In at UF, FSU, & Alabama. Should he elect to attend Alabama, Auburn does not go to the playoffs and (more) prayers are now ended with “Roll Tide”.
James (The Greater)-Executed by Herod. Don't ask people on death row to write LORs.
John-Mormons believe he was immortalized and returned to Earth in 1830. Gets the Savior in at BYU.
Bartholemew (Also called Nathanial) - Not mentioned at all in New Testament, indicating he does not know the applicant well enough to write a solid LoR.
Matthew-Worked as tax collector for Herod. Given prominent government role, target all DC area schools.
Thomas-Doubted resurrection. Do not ask for letter.
James (The Lesser)- If you are considered inferior to someone the king had executed, you are no help in application process.
Simon the Zealot- In Jesus Christ Superstar, tries to persuade Jesus to attack Roman Occupiers. Given opposition to occupiers, could probably write a good letter for corporate law programs.
Jude-Roman Catholic patron saint of desperate cases and lost causes. Target letters to reach schools.
Judas Iscariot-Do not sign the LSAC form waiving right to see this letter.

3.) To address another earlier poster, I doubt Jesus would opt to stay in state given his past run ins with the local governor.

Finally, even IF schools were willing to overlook his glaring lack of a Bachelor’s degree AND he were able to get good LoRs AND he was able to properly explain C&F issues (hey at least he doesn’t have speeding tickets), the difficulty of locating an adcomm that is willing and able to process applications written entirely in Aramaic will mean that Jesus Christ does not get into law school anywhere.

This is why, regardless of their grades, the quality of their school, or their realistic employment opportunities following graduation, gunners everywhere have a holier than thou pretense about them.

steubenville
Posts: 20
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby steubenville » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:11 pm

Notre Dame FTW!

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introversional
Posts: 181
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby introversional » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:14 pm

Thanks for asking, but none of your business, mang.

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ADks
Posts: 49
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby ADks » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:15 pm

Jesus would go to Peoples College of Law

I think that is a given..

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20130312
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby 20130312 » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:18 pm

ArthuKirkland wrote:This argument is absurd. It is entirely impossible to predict with any degree of certainty where Jesus would attend law school due to his complex application package.

1.) To the best of our knowledge, Jesus does not have an undergraduate degree from an accredited institution of higher learning. We would know if he did, because such an institution would undoubtedly flaunt photographs of him in their alumni publications and admissions brochures. I never received any brochures as a high school senior showing Jesus strolling across the quad or playing ultimate frisbee. If anyone has, please let me know. However, if Jesus based his PS on a famous quote ( Mike Huckabee's "I didn't major in math, I majored in miracles" comes to mind), schools might be willing to overlook this deficit.

No GPA + 175-180 LSAT = Most extreme splitter I know of.

2.) Letters of Recommendation. This is problematic. Who would write them? Obviously his Father would be helpful in this area but as an earlier poster indicated, schools generally frown on family members. Therefore, Mary and, ostensibly, Joseph, are also excluded. This would leave the Disciples, who, considering their prominence and friendship with the applicant, could likely write some very strong letters. They are problematic in that they follow him with nearly blind allegiance, suggesting the possibility of unnatural bias, but if they did write his letters, it would be best to target their letters to specific schools and take the following into consideration:

Simon called Peter-Knew the Messiah very well so could write an excellent letter. Also, generally regarded as the first Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, so in at ND and Catholic w/$. Unfortunately executed by Nero, so some possible C&F issues of his own.
Andrew-Saltire Cross of St. Andrew featured prominently on state flags of Florida & Alabama. In at UF, FSU, & Alabama. Should he elect to attend Alabama, Auburn does not go to the playoffs and (more) prayers are now ended with “Roll Tide”.
James (The Greater)-Executed by Herod. Don't ask people on death row to write LORs.
John-Mormons believe he was immortalized and returned to Earth in 1830. Gets the Savior in at BYU.
Bartholemew (Also called Nathanial) - Not mentioned at all in New Testament, indicating he does not know the applicant well enough to write a solid LoR.
Matthew-Worked as tax collector for Herod. Given prominent government role, target all DC area schools.
Thomas-Doubted resurrection. Do not ask for letter.
James (The Lesser)- If you are considered inferior to someone the king had executed, you are no help in application process.
Simon the Zealot- In Jesus Christ Superstar, tries to persuade Jesus to attack Roman Occupiers. Given opposition to occupiers, could probably write a good letter for corporate law programs.
Jude-Roman Catholic patron saint of desperate cases and lost causes. Target letters to reach schools.
Judas Iscariot-Do not sign the LSAC form waiving right to see this letter.

3.) To address another earlier poster, I doubt Jesus would opt to stay in state given his past run ins with the local governor.

Finally, even IF schools were willing to overlook his glaring lack of a Bachelor’s degree AND he were able to get good LoRs AND he was able to properly explain C&F issues (hey at least he doesn’t have speeding tickets), the difficulty of locating an adcomm that is willing and able to process applications written entirely in Aramaic will mean that Jesus Christ does not get into law school anywhere.

This is why, regardless of their grades, the quality of their school, or their realistic employment opportunities following graduation, gunners everywhere have a holier than thou pretense about them.



This post has so much win, I'm not even mad you resurrected this thread! (see what I did there?)

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Mce252
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Mce252 » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:20 pm

I wonder if this thread would still be alive if it was about Muhammad...

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john1990
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby john1990 » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:21 pm

bananasinpajamas wrote:Not a religious debate...

But where would Jesus go to law school?
If the divine one was perfect, we could assume a 175+ LSAT.
However, he would have to apply as an international student.
While good softs including water into wine, I do not think law schools would appreciate a letter of rec. from his father (Family does not look good in LOR).
Since Jewish people mostly do not count as URM, where would Jesus go to law school?


lol we are only giving Jesus a 175? I hope he has a good GPA to go with that

If Muhammad had a 175 he could get in anywhere since hes a URM :twisted:

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Tom Joad
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Tom Joad » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:29 pm

Jesus might have been an AA male URM, let's not forget that.

But my vote would be Georgetown as it is the premier Jesuit law school.




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