Where would Jesus go to Law School?

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Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Harvard
94
11%
Notre Dame
223
27%
Cooley
162
20%
Cornell
27
3%
UC Berkeley
148
18%
Other
174
21%
 
Total votes: 828

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Ludo!
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Ludo! » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:07 pm

PDaddy wrote:Jesus would reform the entire system.

Jesus would (1) reduce by about 1/3 the number of law schools and replace a few of the known diploma mills with law schools at 15 or 20 more prestigious colleges and universities (like M.I.T., John's Hopkins, etc.). We would have about 140 law schools.

Jesus would (2) design a better law admissions test, incorporating many aspects of the current LSAT but adding a more comprehensive battery of skills and qualities tests.

Jesus would (3) expose Robert Morse's USNWR rankings agenda for what it is: a veiled but inept attempt to disincentivize law school adcoms from admitting ethnic minorities to elite law schools.

Jesus would (4) start severely taxing the BigLaw firms and corporations that are purposely holding Americans hostage by withholding jobs - artificially keeping the economy depressed in efforts to run Obama out of office.

Jesus would also (5) eliminate bonuses for all but the lowest paid employees until those companies started hiring en masse again, which they can already afford to do but won't.


I like how this starts sensible, then 2 is like 'ok that's debatable' and then you just go right to the batshit insane

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Antilles Haven
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Antilles Haven » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:14 pm

Wherever he goes, he won't make it past intentional torts, property, or crim law. So this whole thing is kinda moot.

bananasinpajamas
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby bananasinpajamas » Tue Sep 25, 2012 1:28 am

Forgot about this. Time to resurrect this. :P

indo
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby indo » Tue Sep 25, 2012 1:35 am

bananasinpajamas wrote:Not a religious debate...

But where would Jesus go to law school?
If the divine one was perfect, we could assume a 175+ LSAT.
However, he would have to apply as an international student.
While good softs including water into wine, I do not think law schools would appreciate a letter of rec. from his father (Family does not look good in LOR).
Since Jewish people mostly do not count as URM, where would Jesus go to law school?



why Only Jesus ?
How about Mohammad, Buddha, and many others ?

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Stanford4Me
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Stanford4Me » Tue Sep 25, 2012 2:24 am

indo wrote:
bananasinpajamas wrote:Not a religious debate...

But where would Jesus go to law school?
If the divine one was perfect, we could assume a 175+ LSAT.
However, he would have to apply as an international student.
While good softs including water into wine, I do not think law schools would appreciate a letter of rec. from his father (Family does not look good in LOR).
Since Jewish people mostly do not count as URM, where would Jesus go to law school?



why Only Jesus ?
How about Mohammad, Buddha, and many others ?

Because Jesus is the only true savior. Shut up.

alex.feuerman
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby alex.feuerman » Tue Oct 16, 2012 1:46 pm

This is a great thread :)

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Presidentjlh
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Presidentjlh » Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:37 pm

Since he has the divine qualities of God, I would venture to guess he just attends every single one at the same time.

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Ludo!
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Ludo! » Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:40 pm

Did you do a search for Jesus to find this thread to necro?

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Presidentjlh
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Presidentjlh » Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:45 pm

Ludovico Technique wrote:Did you do a search for Jesus to find this thread to necro?

No it was on page 2 or 3 for some reason.

Thought it was funny.

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Ludo!
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Ludo! » Mon Dec 03, 2012 6:56 pm

Just curious. I enjoyed seeing it again. Almost as good as the where would Zach Morris go to law school thread

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teiswei
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby teiswei » Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:09 pm

First and foremost, I question this divinity business. There is as much proof in his divinity as there is in my cat's.

Second, even if we assume he had a smoking GPA, his LSAT would likely be 120-130 (if he got lucky with some of those bubbles) considering he didn't speak, read, nor write in English. So as my guess is Phoenix College of Law.

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MarkinKansasCity
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby MarkinKansasCity » Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:34 am

john1990 wrote:
bananasinpajamas wrote:Not a religious debate...

But where would Jesus go to law school?
If the divine one was perfect, we could assume a 175+ LSAT.
However, he would have to apply as an international student.
While good softs including water into wine, I do not think law schools would appreciate a letter of rec. from his father (Family does not look good in LOR).
Since Jewish people mostly do not count as URM, where would Jesus go to law school?


lol we are only giving Jesus a 175? I hope he has a good GPA to go with that

If Muhammad had a 175 he could get in anywhere since hes a URM :twisted:


This is incorrect. Middle Easterners are not counted as a URM. Ironically, they lobbied the U.S. government heavily in the 1950's to not be counted as black. According to our government, middle eastern basically equals white. Neither Jesus nor Mohammed would be URM, and Jesus would have a higher LSAT than Mohammed, because he is the son of God, and Mohammed was only a prophet. Unless you believe the Muslims, and then they were both prophets, which makes it a little tougher to say. Mohammed would need a hell of an addendum to explain why members of the organization he founded burning down the Great Library of Alexandria though. Jesus would also need to explain how some followers did some batshit crazy things. I really don't know if either of them could get past C&F issues.

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lisjjen
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby lisjjen » Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:36 pm

Buddha wouldn't go to law school. He would be at MIT for computer engineering... you know why.

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armenazo
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby armenazo » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:37 am

Seton Hall









































Someone had to say it...

Gator_Law
Posts: 53
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2012 12:20 am

Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby Gator_Law » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:49 pm

06072010 wrote:Jesus would go to UF.


Well one of his disciples did.

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spleenworship
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby spleenworship » Wed Dec 05, 2012 4:14 pm

MarkinKansasCity wrote:
john1990 wrote:
bananasinpajamas wrote:Not a religious debate...

But where would Jesus go to law school?
If the divine one was perfect, we could assume a 175+ LSAT.
However, he would have to apply as an international student.
While good softs including water into wine, I do not think law schools would appreciate a letter of rec. from his father (Family does not look good in LOR).
Since Jewish people mostly do not count as URM, where would Jesus go to law school?


lol we are only giving Jesus a 175? I hope he has a good GPA to go with that

If Muhammad had a 175 he could get in anywhere since hes a URM :twisted:


This is incorrect. Middle Easterners are not counted as a URM. Ironically, they lobbied the U.S. government heavily in the 1950's to not be counted as black. According to our government, middle eastern basically equals white. Neither Jesus nor Mohammed would be URM, and Jesus would have a higher LSAT than Mohammed, because he is the son of God, and Mohammed was only a prophet. Unless you believe the Muslims, and then they were both prophets, which makes it a little tougher to say. Mohammed would need a hell of an addendum to explain why members of the organization he founded burning down the Great Library of Alexandria though. Jesus would also need to explain how some followers did some batshit crazy things. I really don't know if either of them could get past C&F issues.



This got me thinking. Are there any major world religions who had a URM founder? Notice I say MAJOR world religions.

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lisjjen
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Re: Where would Jesus go to Law School?

Postby lisjjen » Fri Dec 07, 2012 3:01 pm

spleenworship wrote:This got me thinking. Are there any major world religions who had a URM founder? Notice I say MAJOR world religions.


Does St. Guadalupe get any credit. She didn't found Catholicism, but to many, she is the focal point of South, Central, and Mezo-American Christianity.

Or how about New Age mysticism? There's a lot of Native American elements in there.

And I'm going to guess that outside of the Princess and the Frog, no one counts voodoo as a major world religion.




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