Rubies, I think your personal statement alone could be the cause for your rejection at Texas Tech. Aside from a few minor grammar and punctuation errors, your statement shows decent grammatical correctness. I noticed a few things, however, that might have hurt you in your personal statement:
1. If you asked me to tell you the main point of your essay, I wouldn't know what to say. If I were an AdCom reading several Personal statements a day, I would be annoyed at how difficult it is to follow this personal statement. I think it would help if you clearly stated your purpose in this essay, and clearly tied all of the other information and experiences to that purpose.
2. To me this personal statement comes across as compensating a lack of ability for organization with a dazzling vocabulary. I feel like your choice of complex vocabulary is a little excessive and comes across as trying too hard to be a good writer.
3. I think it was a very bad idea to include the following sentence:
"Various professors describe me as “anal” (short for analytical), an attribute I proudly admit to possess."
First of all, anal is not short for analytical, it is short for anal-retentive. Being anal-retentive is not a good thing (unless you are diagnosed as such and thus become an URM), and the last thing AdComs want is to bring in someone who obsessively pays so much attention to detail that he/she annoys everyone else (including the faculty) and becomes a detriment to his/her self. The fact that you annoyed your undergraduate professors enough to compromise the professional nature of their class by dishing out insults would raise major red flags. Aside from that, your apparent mis-understanding of what they meant by "anal" is far less than impressive.
4. Try to get away from using passive voice so much. Your writing becomes much more powerful and clear when you employ active voice.
5. It's great that you aren't "romanced by the marvels of a utopia," but that has little relevance as to why anyone ought to admit you to law school. You sound like you are making excuses as to why you took a different path to law school than most. It would set you apart if you instead expounded on how your unique experiences clearly will allow you to bring something to the table as a law student.
I am sorry if I came across as critical, but I think that a stronger personal statement could have been the difference between acceptance and denial in this situation. Another thing you might want to look into is weather or not Texas Tech even likes to admit people with a science background. You may just not fit their mold. Don't worry, though. There are plenty of schools that love science backgrounds.