TLS c/o 2020 - In #Squad We Trust Forum

[Smc1994]

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[Dr.Degrees_Cr.Cash]

Once I get all decisions, I am going to put together all of the information, and sit down and talk it out with the soon to be wife. I do wish at times that I had the freedom that a lot of people have (no significant other that they have to consider). It makes it a bit more difficult when my fiancee has to apply and find a job in four different cities while I am trying to decide . Luckily she is a teacher and it isn't difficult for her to get a job, but getting one in a good school that she will like is hard.

I'm with ya...my SO can't move with his current profession so my only choices were 1. stay here, 2. go somewhere close enough that we could visit each other by driving, 3. try to make a long distance relationship work (which it probably wouldn't....so this wasn't really much of an option for me)

I really hope this doesn't come off mean or sound like I'm trying to preach but I'm genuinely curious as to why you're creating limitations on such a major life choice for a relationship that wouldn't even survive distance?

Watch it bro, Reddit is gonna come for you.

Also though, who you want to spend your life with (something that is very possible in Ash's case, definitely possible in JJ's) is just as major a life choice, and making sacrifices is a common occurrence when you make that life choice.

Also doing 3 years of long distance in an incredibly stressful situation like LS should not be a requirement for a relationship. Many relationships would fail under those conditions and are still worth while, healthy relationships.

Ultimately, there are many personal reasons why a law school is chosen over another (especially geography specific personal reasons). I don't think it's unreasonable that one of those personal reasons would be a relationship.

[Stylnator]

Once I get all decisions, I am going to put together all of the information, and sit down and talk it out with the soon to be wife. I do wish at times that I had the freedom that a lot of people have (no significant other that they have to consider). It makes it a bit more difficult when my fiancee has to apply and find a job in four different cities while I am trying to decide . Luckily she is a teacher and it isn't difficult for her to get a job, but getting one in a good school that she will like is hard.

I'm with ya...my SO can't move with his current profession so my only choices were 1. stay here, 2. go somewhere close enough that we could visit each other by driving, 3. try to make a long distance relationship work (which it probably wouldn't....so this wasn't really much of an option for me)

I really hope this doesn't come off mean or sound like I'm trying to preach but I'm genuinely curious as to why you're creating limitations on such a major life choice for a relationship that wouldn't even survive distance?

I am not the one you are asking, but I know that long distance wouldn't work for my relationship either. My fiancee does not enjoy time apart, and would get pretty lonely when I had two week long business trips. It is not that she can't survive by herself or that she doesn't have other friends. She is just not the type of person that long distance works for. Talking on the phone/skyping isn't the same. She likes being physically near me (I hope this doesn't come off weird or sexual, it is not).

JJ - definitely consider NY close enough. I really wouldn't mind stay in Boston anyway so going to a strong regional was never a problem for me though.

Stylnator - not mean at all! Similar to what JJ said above - I just know we wouldn't survive a distance that was so long we'd have to fly to each other (i.e. never see each other what with being poor). If I knew we'd have whole summers together it would be one thing but I could be working anywhere over the summers. That's 3 years of spending probably around a month/year together total and I'm jsut not someone that would do well with that

Ah I understand! Come to think of it, most successful long distance relationships are short term so I can totally understand how 3 years can take a strain (especially the being too poor to travel part, I didn't consider that). I guess to me it's just a foreign concept to make choices based on other people

[Keilz]

Me and my boyfriend have been long distance for 3 years (one year one hour apart, and then two maximum 7 hours)

It is hard, but he's really busy with school anyway so he wasn't spending his weekends doing fun things, he was able to use that time to study. It was hard for me though, especially because I live with my parents (and really young sister) so it was really lonely. It still kind of is..(that's part of the reason why I'm posting on here )...I really miss my college friends, and my high school/childhood friends who all moved away. I'm super excited to make friends in law school.

However, I'm not sure if I could do ANOTHER three years apart if I'm not in NYC next year with him. I'll have to see what transferring is like, not only for him, but also for my own preferences. But if I don't transfer I luckily have a lot of options for schools where I would be happy attending.

[jjcorvino]

Once I get all decisions, I am going to put together all of the information, and sit down and talk it out with the soon to be wife. I do wish at times that I had the freedom that a lot of people have (no significant other that they have to consider). It makes it a bit more difficult when my fiancee has to apply and find a job in four different cities while I am trying to decide . Luckily she is a teacher and it isn't difficult for her to get a job, but getting one in a good school that she will like is hard.

I'm with ya...my SO can't move with his current profession so my only choices were 1. stay here, 2. go somewhere close enough that we could visit each other by driving, 3. try to make a long distance relationship work (which it probably wouldn't....so this wasn't really much of an option for me)

I really hope this doesn't come off mean or sound like I'm trying to preach but I'm genuinely curious as to why you're creating limitations on such a major life choice for a relationship that wouldn't even survive distance?

I am not the one you are asking, but I know that long distance wouldn't work for my relationship either. My fiancee does not enjoy time apart, and would get pretty lonely when I had two week long business trips. It is not that she can't survive by herself or that she doesn't have other friends. She is just not the type of person that long distance works for. Talking on the phone/skyping isn't the same. She likes being physically near me (I hope this doesn't come off weird or sexual, it is not).

JJ - definitely consider NY close enough. I really wouldn't mind stay in Boston anyway so going to a strong regional was never a problem for me though.

Stylnator - not mean at all! Similar to what JJ said above - I just know we wouldn't survive a distance that was so long we'd have to fly to each other (i.e. never see each other what with being poor). If I knew we'd have whole summers together it would be one thing but I could be working anywhere over the summers. That's 3 years of spending probably around a month/year together total and I'm jsut not someone that would do well with that

Ah I understand! Come to think of it, most successful long distance relationships are short term so I can totally understand how 3 years can take a strain (especially the being too poor to travel part, I didn't consider that). I guess to me it's just a foreign concept to make choices based on other people

It is good and bad. It is bad because I am sacrificing my freedom a bit. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. It has been a lot of fun to go through this process with her. We had our own Elle Woods moment when I got my LSAT score, she had an amazing party for me when I finished the LSAT. I don't know who else I would worry with and tell all this stupid stuff to (besides the people on here).

[Sarastro]

Guys, here we go, another /r/lawschooladmissions chance to bash us

https://www.reddit.com/r/lawschooladmis ... ts_on_tls/

Generally elitist. Extremely risk-averse. Numbers-reliant. Not very empathetic. Goal-oriented. Useful for specific questions.

Ayy, it's like my girlfriend's introducing me at a party!

[Stylnator]

It is good and bad. It is bad because I am sacrificing my freedom a bit. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. It has been a lot of fun to go through this process with her. We had our own Elle Woods moment when I got my LSAT score, she had an amazing party for me when I finished the LSAT. I don't know who else I would worry with and tell all this stupid stuff to (besides the people on here).

I guess it all just comes down to knowing when the sacrifices are worth it. I was always taught to put like school + career before any relationship so that's at least where I'm coming from - but i want an lsat party..

Me and my boyfriend have been long distance for 3 years (one year one hour apart, and then two maximum 7 hours)

It is hard, but he's really busy with school anyway so he wasn't spending his weekends doing fun things, he was able to use that time to study. It was hard for me though, especially because I live with my parents (and really young sister) so it was really lonely. It still kind of is..(that's part of the reason why I'm posting on here )...I really miss my college friends, and my high school/childhood friends who all moved away. I'm super excited to make friends in law school.

How can you be lonely when you live with your family?

[laqueredup]

Once I get all decisions, I am going to put together all of the information, and sit down and talk it out with the soon to be wife. I do wish at times that I had the freedom that a lot of people have (no significant other that they have to consider). It makes it a bit more difficult when my fiancee has to apply and find a job in four different cities while I am trying to decide . Luckily she is a teacher and it isn't difficult for her to get a job, but getting one in a good school that she will like is hard.

I'm with ya...my SO can't move with his current profession so my only choices were 1. stay here, 2. go somewhere close enough that we could visit each other by driving, 3. try to make a long distance relationship work (which it probably wouldn't....so this wasn't really much of an option for me)

I really hope this doesn't come off mean or sound like I'm trying to preach but I'm genuinely curious as to why you're creating limitations on such a major life choice for a relationship that wouldn't even survive distance?

I am not the one you are asking, but I know that long distance wouldn't work for my relationship either. My fiancee does not enjoy time apart, and would get pretty lonely when I had two week long business trips. It is not that she can't survive by herself or that she doesn't have other friends. She is just not the type of person that long distance works for. Talking on the phone/skyping isn't the same. She likes being physically near me (I hope this doesn't come off weird or sexual, it is not).

JJ - definitely consider NY close enough. I really wouldn't mind stay in Boston anyway so going to a strong regional was never a problem for me though.

Stylnator - not mean at all! Similar to what JJ said above - I just know we wouldn't survive a distance that was so long we'd have to fly to each other (i.e. never see each other what with being poor). If I knew we'd have whole summers together it would be one thing but I could be working anywhere over the summers. That's 3 years of spending probably around a month/year together total and I'm jsut not someone that would do well with that

Ah I understand! Come to think of it, most successful long distance relationships are short term so I can totally understand how 3 years can take a strain (especially the being too poor to travel part, I didn't consider that). I guess to me it's just a foreign concept to make choices based on other people

It is good and bad. It is bad because I am sacrificing my freedom a bit. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. It has been a lot of fun to go through this process with her. We had our own Elle Woods moment when I got my LSAT score, she had an amazing party for me when I finished the LSAT. I don't know who else I would worry with and tell all this stupid stuff to (besides the people on here).

Yep, its tough to accept that its not all about you, but worth it if its the right person. Been distance for years already due to military, and I am seriously considering a strong regional over a Top 10 just to be in the same place for once...

[poptart123]

Guys, here we go, another /r/lawschooladmissions chance to bash us

https://www.reddit.com/r/lawschooladmis ... ts_on_tls/

Generally elitist. Extremely risk-averse. Numbers-reliant. Not very empathetic. Goal-oriented. Useful for specific questions.

Ayy, it's like my girlfriend's introducing me at a party!

lmao

[ashrice13]

Also though, who you want to spend your life with is just as major a life choice, and making sacrifices is a common occurrence when you make that life choice.

Yes, this! Totally. I think it's a balance also. In 3 years my SO will have more flexibility with his career so if I land my dream job in NY or DC, he's fully willing to move for me. We're both willing to sacrifice to an extent...and neither one of us is forcing the other person to give up on their career goals.

Honestly, I'm perfectly fine stay in Boston forever so being at a strong regional for very little debt is a really good deal for me. If I had different goals we might be in a different situation.

[Keilz]

It is good and bad. It is bad because I am sacrificing my freedom a bit. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. It has been a lot of fun to go through this process with her. We had our own Elle Woods moment when I got my LSAT score, she had an amazing party for me when I finished the LSAT. I don't know who else I would worry with and tell all this stupid stuff to (besides the people on here).

I guess it all just comes down to knowing when the sacrifices are worth it. I was always taught to put like school + career before any relationship so that's at least where I'm coming from - but i want an lsat party..

Me and my boyfriend have been long distance for 3 years (one year one hour apart, and then two maximum 7 hours)

It is hard, but he's really busy with school anyway so he wasn't spending his weekends doing fun things, he was able to use that time to study. It was hard for me though, especially because I live with my parents (and really young sister) so it was really lonely. It still kind of is..(that's part of the reason why I'm posting on here )...I really miss my college friends, and my high school/childhood friends who all moved away. I'm super excited to make friends in law school.

How can you be lonely when you live with your family?

My sister is 13 and takes up all of their time. Also they're not really the same as friends who are the same age as you. No one to go out with, do things with like go to the beach, etc.

[ashrice13]

Guys, here we go, another /r/lawschooladmissions chance to bash us

https://www.reddit.com/r/lawschooladmis ... ts_on_tls/

High key judging OP for using "Prolly"

[laqueredup]

Also though, who you want to spend your life with is just as major a life choice, and making sacrifices is a common occurrence when you make that life choice.

Yes, this! Totally. I think it's a balance also. In 3 years my SO will have more flexibility with his career so if I land my dream job in NY or DC, he's fully willing to move for me. We're both willing to sacrifice to an extent...and neither one of us is forcing the other person to give up on their career goals.

Honestly, I'm perfectly fine stay in Boston forever so being at a strong regional for very little debt is a really good deal for me. If I had different goals we might be in a different situation.

Exactly this, and I think we are looking at the same strong regionals... My SO followed me around once or twice in the military, so now its my turn to make a sacrifice. Since I'm targeting IP I'm hoping those strong regionals will be good enough.

[RParadela]

Maybe I'm just way more selfish than others here, but I'd drop my SO in a heartbeat if the other option was to be constrained by her rather than pursing my life goals. Way too many fish in the sea for me to be held back by one person

[Dr.Degrees_Cr.Cash]

Also though, who you want to spend your life with is just as major a life choice, and making sacrifices is a common occurrence when you make that life choice.

Yes, this! Totally. I think it's a balance also. In 3 years my SO will have more flexibility with his career so if I land my dream job in NY or DC, he's fully willing to move for me. We're both willing to sacrifice to an extent...and neither one of us is forcing the other person to give up on their career goals.

Honestly, I'm perfectly fine stay in Boston forever so being at a strong regional for very little debt is a really good deal for me. If I had different goals we might be in a different situation.

Exactly this, and I think we are looking at the same strong regionals... My SO followed me around once or twice in the military, so now its my turn to make a sacrifice. Since I'm targeting IP I'm hoping those strong regionals will be good enough.

Yeah, I followed my SO for grad school (though technically I didn't really make much of sacrifice) so I have a little bit of leeway, but for me it wasn't even a question. There was nothing at some of the schools for her so I'm not looking at those schools. Honestly 14 is too many anyway (and there are many options that provide very similar outcomes) so I would have been fine with more restrictions than I had to start.

[ashrice13]

Maybe I'm just way more selfish than others here, but I'd drop my SO in a heartbeat if the other option was to be constrained by her rather than pursing my life goals.

Probably not selfish...just maybe not in a "I plan to be with this person forever" relationship. If that's not how I felt, there's a good chance I'd moving somewhere warm and sunny

[Dr.Degrees_Cr.Cash]

Maybe I'm just way more selfish than others here, but I'd drop my SO in a heartbeat if the other option was to be constrained by her rather than pursing my life goals.

A) I don't think it's "more selfish" but there are definitely people who value their relationship with their SO more than others. Probably has a lot to do with how long we've been together/ how strong our relationship is.

B) If I felt it was actually hindering my life goals, it would be done. But we've worked it out and I have multiple options that are vary different that have her blessing so I'm happy

[chargers21]

To those who have tough decisions coming up, how is everyone deciding their options? Pro/con lists? Family/friends?

I'm so torn I literally don't know how to even begin to approach deciding on a school.

I'm going to break out the dart board and throw at it blindfolded. Lots of debt or crippling debt are the 2 options

lol, in this position as well. Hoping the remaining ASWs will clear things up a little. I've been hearing tons of negative comments about Chicago and that's probably my top choice, so I hope ASW proves them wrong but who knows.

I'll see you at Chicago ASW and hopefully it will help me make my decision

[Hennessy]

Wow a lot of people dealing with long-distance relationships and law school struggles in here - feels good to have some solidarity.

My S.O. and I have been together a little over 2 years. I moved to NYC with them about 4mo into our relationship and have been here since. They are a professional dancer (modern, ballet), and NYC is really the only place for that. But I can't stand it here - I like driving, I wanna own a house one day, I hate the cold. So basically we're just calling it quits in 3 months.

[ashrice13]

Wow a lot of people dealing with long-distance relationships and law school struggles in here - feels good to have some solidarity.

I'm sorry!! That sucks. It's really not an easy situation anyway but it's definitely tough to deal with those types of cross roads when you're earlier in the relationship too.

[Sarastro]

Well since I'm gonna drop my deposit in a few hours, I can finally wrap my head around it:

My girlfriend and I have been friends since middle school, but just started dating after college a couple years ago. The last 12 months, though, she's been at Michigan State getting her PhD- 9 hours away. Our relationship is still solid, but it definitely hasn't been fun having to drive almost 20 hours in a weekend to see one another. But in two shorts months I'll be headed up to University of Michigan- just ONE hour away! Just another thing to look forward to with this big change.

[Hennessy]

Well since I'm gonna drop my deposit in a few hours, I can finally wrap my head around it:

My girlfriend and I have been friends since middle school, but just started dating after college a couple years ago. The last 12 months, though, she's been at Michigan State getting her PhD- 9 hours away. Our relationship is still solid, but it definitely hasn't been fun having to drive almost 20 hours in a weekend to see one another. But in two shorts months I'll be headed up to University of Michigan- just ONE hour away! Just another thing to look forward to with this big change.

That's awesome! How many years of PhD does she have left?

[Sarastro]

Well since I'm gonna drop my deposit in a few hours, I can finally wrap my head around it:

My girlfriend and I have been friends since middle school, but just started dating after college a couple years ago. The last 12 months, though, she's been at Michigan State getting her PhD- 9 hours away. Our relationship is still solid, but it definitely hasn't been fun having to drive almost 20 hours in a weekend to see one another. But in two shorts months I'll be headed up to University of Michigan- just ONE hour away! Just another thing to look forward to with this big change.

That's awesome! How many years of PhD does she have left?

A minimum of four lol

[dasq5511]

To those who have tough decisions coming up, how is everyone deciding their options? Pro/con lists? Family/friends?

I'm so torn I literally don't know how to even begin to approach deciding on a school.

I'm going to break out the dart board and throw at it blindfolded. Lots of debt or crippling debt are the 2 options

lol, in this position as well. Hoping the remaining ASWs will clear things up a little. I've been hearing tons of negative comments about Chicago and that's probably my top choice, so I hope ASW proves them wrong but who knows.

I'll see you at Chicago ASW and hopefully it will help me make my decision

Mind sharing your other options?

[Nightwing]

Not sure if there is a better forum for this, but-- has anyone used Spivey consulting and had a good or bad result they would like to share?

On the topic of Spivey consulting, anyone know how much they cost?