being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

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sibley
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby sibley » Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:03 pm

Pearalegal wrote:
mrsdraper wrote:does anyone know if it's possible to take off a semester during law school? could i theoretically take off my 2nd semester?


Of course you could, but you're going to completely screw up OCI and your chances at a summer associate position. Come on now, I hope you've researched this enough.


seriously... just wait until after you're done with school and can afford a babysitter and all that. if you're worried you or your mate won't have any viable reproductive bits left at that point, freeze some.

Pearalegal
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby Pearalegal » Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:07 pm

mrsdraper wrote:My thought process at this point is that school is probably the best time to do it. Life really doesn't get any easier, from what I gather. I'm also planning to have more than one child (hopefully 3 or 4), so I can't wait until I'm 30 to start having kids.


I don't really understand why not. Plenty of people have multiple kids in their 30s. It might be harder, I guess, but certainly not impossible.

It seems like having a family right now, at a young age, is more important to you than law school. I admire you for trying to have both, but this talk about taking semesters off, and not know the risks to you career prospects? Makes me wonder if you've researched all this enough to jump in. IMO, after watching a lot of people go through similar situations...You need a plan.

I suppose I just can't wrap my head around what the rush is at such a young age, but maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to defer admission and sit down with your husband and get a point by point financial, academic and emotional plan as much as possible out.

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jcl2
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby jcl2 » Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:13 pm

Pearalegal wrote:
soonergirl wrote:
jcl2 wrote:Biologically, late twenties is actually kind of late for having a first baby, because of the way adolescence has been extended up through 23-25 or so by our society, we have a pretty narrow window for having children, if you are serious about having a baby delaying too much longer can be a bit risky.


don't let the men scare you, Mrs. Draper. You're not old.



Yeah, this is ridiculous. I am the baby of 13 female cousins from 4 aunts on one side of my family and the youngest one of them gave birth is 29. Doesn't look like there will be a record breaker on the horizon, either. My mom had me at 32, and I/she was perfectly healthy. If not a bit high spirited.

Have a baby young if that's what's right for you, but the above is stupid.


I'm not saying that late twenties is old at all, just that from a purely biological standpoint women are designed to start having children when they are like 15. Late twenties to early 30s is a good time to have children, any earlier is usually somewhat irresponsible in the world we live in IMO. It is a pretty narrow window, though, especially if you want to have more than one, by your mid thirties it can start to become very difficult to conceive, especially a first, and I do personally know several couples who waited too long.

And no offense, but as a man who just helped my wife through pregnancy and is now raising a 5 month old (sharing responsibilities pretty equally, we are not a 1950s style couple) I think I am actually more qualified to give advice on pregnancy and balancing work/school with having a baby than a woman who has never been pregnant or had a child.

Pearalegal
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby Pearalegal » Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:16 pm

jcl2 wrote:And no offense, but as a man who just helped my wife through pregnancy and is now raising a 5 month old (sharing responsibilities pretty equally, we are not a 1950s style couple) I think I am actually more qualified to give advice on pregnancy and balancing work/school with having a baby than a woman who has never been pregnant or had a child.



Certainly, but that doesn't mean that other people's experiences aren't worth bringing to the table. I'm nowhere near considering having a baby, because I've watched others and I know its not for me. I really admire the people who do it well though.

What I was saying is that if you start talking about what we should all be doing strictly according to biology, we're all fucked.

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jcl2
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby jcl2 » Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:32 pm

Pearalegal wrote:
jcl2 wrote:And no offense, but as a man who just helped my wife through pregnancy and is now raising a 5 month old (sharing responsibilities pretty equally, we are not a 1950s style couple) I think I am actually more qualified to give advice on pregnancy and balancing work/school with having a baby than a woman who has never been pregnant or had a child.



Certainly, but that doesn't mean that other people's experiences aren't worth bringing to the table. I'm nowhere near considering having a baby, because I've watched others and I know its not for me. I really admire the people who do it well though.

What I was saying is that if you start talking about what we should all be doing strictly according to biology, we're all fucked.


I agree, and as I said, I don't think we should be having babies as teenagers, it doesn't make sense in the modern word, and it is irresponsible from a population growth standpoint. I was just pointing out that we have a relatively small window where it is both reasonable and responsible to have children and biologically possible, and it can be easy to wait to long.

I was also just getting a little annoyed by the attitude of some posters in this thread (not yours) that men have no place commenting on pregnancy or raising children, that is absurd and sexist.

BTW, the main point of my original post was actually just that 1L might be a tough time to be pregnant or have a baby, but 2L and 3L might actually be better than trying to do it early in your career, this whole discussion of the biologically optimal time to have children was really ancillary.

renata96
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby renata96 » Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:42 pm

I was pregnant when I took my LSAT and I honestly believe it made me score much lower, my doctor even said pregnancy affects concentration and such. Then again I took the LSAT 2 weeks befor myy due date and I couldn't focus on anything but the baby kicking and going to the bathroom (your bladder will be the size of a pea).
With that said I think it can be done, and if it does become too difficult you can always take a semester off school. Also several states have assistance with child care look on their websites. :)

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NYCbound96
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby NYCbound96 » Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:56 pm

Pearalegal wrote:
mrsdraper wrote:My thought process at this point is that school is probably the best time to do it. Life really doesn't get any easier, from what I gather. I'm also planning to have more than one child (hopefully 3 or 4), so I can't wait until I'm 30 to start having kids.


I don't really understand why not. Plenty of people have multiple kids in their 30s. It might be harder, I guess, but certainly not impossible.


I wouldn't worry too much about being able to get pregnant later in life. My cousin had her first baby at 39/40 and is now 41 and pregnant with her second child. I know there's a lot of emphasis in the media now that so many people have infertility problems, but it's really overblown. If your immediate family members haven't had enormous trouble conceiving or had multiple miscarriages I highly doubt that you will have too much trouble getting pregnant in your 30s.
On the other hand, if there is a history of family problems I would say it might be worse to try to get pregnant during your 1L because the risk for complications would be high and they would interrupt your studies regardless.
I would say your best bet is to consult a doctor and see what they say about the levels of stress during school and what they think your best options would be.

HTH and good luck! :mrgreen:

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soonergirl
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby soonergirl » Thu Apr 08, 2010 4:05 pm

Pearalegal wrote:It seems like having a family right now, at a young age, is more important to you than law school. I admire you for trying to have both, but this talk about taking semesters off, and not know the risks to you career prospects? Makes me wonder if you've researched all this enough to jump in. IMO, after watching a lot of people go through similar situations...You need a plan.

I suppose I just can't wrap my head around what the rush is at such a young age, but maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to defer admission and sit down with your husband and get a point by point financial, academic and emotional plan as much as possible out.


Peary is wise. you and your husband should figure out exactly what the plan is and why you're getting a pricey law degree, and consider what types of law are compatible with a life with three or four children. Even most men will tell you that law is not a family-friendly profession.

Peary's suggestion might be a great one. Defer admission, conceive asap, deliver about this time next year, then the baby will be weaned and sleeping a little more before you start 1L. It's not gong to be easy, but I think it's more realistic than being pregnant and delivering during 1L.

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danquayle
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby danquayle » Thu Apr 08, 2010 4:55 pm

Seriously people, law school is infinitely less stressful than a job. You can blow off law school assignments and professors way way easier than you can job assignments and bosses. If you're pregnant during law school, you're going to get plenty of leeway, because the deadlines are just arbitrary dates set by professors. When you have a job and deadlines exist because the quarter is ending or because Customer X is having a competitive bid, bosses are not as forgiving.

r6_philly wrote:
Being pregnant or being a mother is going to make that task harder. If you want to argue how that would make it easier, I am all ears.



I know tons of people who had kids during law school. They actually outperformed the median in my experience. To answer a question above... do I think having a kid will make it easier on you? No. Of course not. But can it actually help you? Definitely. It will force you to develop a routine and stronger habits. It'll force you develop more efficient study habits. Both of those will help you in your legal studies. Plus, you'll presumably have the support of your husband and a network of friends you'll likely make in law school. Not to mention that professors are going to be understanding. All these people telling you it must be either X or Y are exaggerating the entire law school experience. And it'll make all of your achievements seem that much more impressive. This is all based on observation, not conjecture. I probably would have thought otherwise too, but in practice, those with families always seemed to outperform those without. Take that for what you will.

Again, it boils down to this: If you want to have a family, do you think it'd be easier to be pregnant while studying and juggling your course load for 4-5 classes or while trying to juggle the demands of a dozen clients while appeasing your boss and doing doc review on the side? It WILL NOT get any easier. It WILL NOT get any less stressful. If you want to have a family, do it now, not while you're working 120 hours trying to distinguish yourself at a law firm.

filmbuff
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Re: being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible?

Postby filmbuff » Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:40 am

The terrible problem here is that there is the pressure for many women to both have children and after law school, get a good job and devote themselves to the never-ending work week. There is no "right time" with these two options and either choice, to have a baby during law school or at the end and prepare for issues with hiring and flexibility, is not enviable.

I had twins while teaching full-time, building a custom home and writing my doctoral dissertation at an Ivy. I did it and now that my twins are six, I can start law school this summer with them in school and that particular pressure to have kids by a certain age behind me. I won't need to quit a law career in ten years because anything is ticking. I did, however, as an earlier poster mentioned, develop supreme time-management skills while doing all of the above! However, what I would caution is the following: Nothing, absolutely nothing, prepared me for the lifestyle change that children bring. Your life is, simply put, just not your own any longer. There is no studying in the middle of the day, on a weekend afternoon or running to the library when you feel like it. You are needed and relied upon 24/7. The other thing to bear in mind is that you are an unknown entity as far as pregnancy goes. You don't know whether or not you will have complications, be hospitalized for any number of issues from minor to significant, whether your baby will be pre-term, have issues, require hospitalization ... and the list goes on. You just cannot fathom how impossible it will be to focus on anything at all other than your child. It is true when people say that the love you feel for a child is just limitless and I recall even minor health issues just overwhelming me psychologically and it being so hard to put it aside to be productive. Having a baby now could cause you to sacrifice this chance to study, obtain your JD and consider your options after that, while it's still just the two of you. Don't complicate matters if you don't have to -- you just have no assurance which way these things may go. My brother was also an over-achiever and tried to pack it all in as a senior lawyer at a major, major firm. He died a year ago, in his late-thirties from stress induced health issues and will never live to see his children grow up, the children he tried to "fit in" before it was really a good time.




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