THE DING BAR

[msu1077]

Signed,

I don't really hate you, please reconsider.

Priceless!

[TOMaHULK]

Signed,

I don't really hate you, please reconsider.

Priceless!

Truth comes out in the end...

[SentinelsOfEvil]

Thank you Dean Tom for the kind email – even if it did land in my inbox.

I am personally CRUSHED as my numbers and softs are exactly what you are looking for. I have listened repeatedly to people say how ‘holistic’ you are and how much you embrace 'diversity', but you have proved to me you do not subscribe to either one.

I am willing to grow hair under my armpits, kiss girls (and like it) and never shave my legs again (or my pooty). I will engage in the saving of whales, ants and the gerbil next door. I will help to feed small children and old people from remote 3rd world countries and find a cure for cancer. I will sell my SUV and learn to ride a bike again. I will give freely to all the panhandlers on the fringes of campus. I will volunteer to help the poor law librarian next fall when all the incoming 1Ls enter. I will promise to spread love and happiness to all who enter my presence. I will promise to eat at Chez Panisse, eat granola daily, shun all meat and embrace vegetarianism. I will overlook how rude the 2 & 3Ls are and give them all hugs – daily.
If ONLY you would change your mind *sniff*

I would like to slam you into next year. However, I cannot. You were one of my top schools and I am devastated.

Now. Would you like to send me a fifth of Stoli for that $75.00 I spent? I need to drink myself into oblivion as I lie on my bed and sob tonight.
I will also pass this bottle around to my fellow TLS Berkeley Ding friends.

Thanks Dean Tom. You are the BEST.

From LilMonster(LOSER)Annie
--ImageRemoved--

I'd like a swig of that bottle too. Not sobbing though, just pissed off about the goddamn 75 dollars.

[Birdlaw]

Dear Boston College,

Thank you for sending your rejection letter to my permanent address instead of the house that I actually live at. It was a lovely surprise to receive a phone call from my parents who informed me of your lovely mail. My family was quite eager and anxious to see what you had sent. Like Admiral Ackbar, I knew this was a trap, but failed to warn my parents of the almost certain doom that was inside the envelope. Again, I thank you for the experience of hearing my family become disappointed.

P.S. Thank you for showing a fellow Jesuit some love.

[JaLeCa]

Dear Boston College,

Thank you for sending your rejection letter to my permanent address instead of the house that I actually live at. It was a lovely surprise to receive a phone call from my parents who informed me of your lovely mail. My family was quite eager and anxious to see what you had sent. Like Admiral Ackbar, I knew this was a trap, but failed to warn my parents of the almost certain doom that was inside the envelope. Again, I thank you for the experience of hearing my family become disappointed.

P.S. Thank you for showing a fellow Jesuit some love.

Yikes

[masochist]

Dear Chicago,

Despite your professed intellectual environment, the lone UChicago student I know spent most of his time in UG 1) in his frat, 2) getting wasted or snorting coke in his frat, or 3) talking about getting wasted or snorting coke, in his frat or elsewhere.

I, on the other hand, more prudently balanced my academics with getting wasted, and achieved a BETTER GPA and LSAT score than he.

I will take my love of learning elsewhere.

-amkid

This person must have been the single most interesting person to attend Chicago as an UG. He still sounds like a douche, but he might have been less of a douche than the typical U of C undergrad.

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train. We could have walked to the red line, but then we would have been killed since U of C was surrounded on all sides by a gang-infested post-industrial wasteland.

Don't go to Hyde Park to learn anything or to have any fun. If you would like to buy crack, an unregistered firearm, or bland vegetarian food, then it is the place to be.

Needless to say, they rejected me as well. Consider this the intro to my forthcoming ding bar contribution.

[rs2004]

Dear Chicago,

Despite your professed intellectual environment, the lone UChicago student I know spent most of his time in UG 1) in his frat, 2) getting wasted or snorting coke in his frat, or 3) talking about getting wasted or snorting coke, in his frat or elsewhere.

I, on the other hand, more prudently balanced my academics with getting wasted, and achieved a BETTER GPA and LSAT score than he.

I will take my love of learning elsewhere.

-amkid

This person must have been the single most interesting person to attend Chicago as an UG. He still sounds like a douche, but he might have been less of a douche than the typical U of C undergrad.

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train. We could have walked to the red line, but then we would have been killed since U of C was surrounded on all sides by a gang-infested post-industrial wasteland.

Don't go to Hyde Park to learn anything or to have any fun. If you would like to buy crack, an unregistered firearm, or bland vegetarian food, then it is the place to be.

Needless to say, they rejected me as well. Consider this the intro to my forthcoming ding bar contribution.

this was the best thing i've read in this thread

[Kinderby]

Needless to say, they rejected me as well. Consider this the intro to my forthcoming ding bar contribution.

I certainly don't hope you get more rejections, but I definitely want you to contribute more to the ding bar. :D

[dabears1]

Dear Chicago,

Despite your professed intellectual environment, the lone UChicago student I know spent most of his time in UG 1) in his frat, 2) getting wasted or snorting coke in his frat, or 3) talking about getting wasted or snorting coke, in his frat or elsewhere.

I, on the other hand, more prudently balanced my academics with getting wasted, and achieved a BETTER GPA and LSAT score than he.

I will take my love of learning elsewhere.

-amkid

This person must have been the single most interesting person to attend Chicago as an UG. He still sounds like a douche, but he might have been less of a douche than the typical U of C undergrad.

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train. We could have walked to the red line, but then we would have been killed since U of C was surrounded on all sides by a gang-infested post-industrial wasteland.

Don't go to Hyde Park to learn anything or to have any fun. If you would like to buy crack, an unregistered firearm, or bland vegetarian food, then it is the place to be.

Needless to say, they rejected me as well. Consider this the intro to my forthcoming ding bar contribution.

Masochist, please apply to Yale asap so we can fully understand what a douche fest it really is over there in New Haven. (post ding)

[weejonbu]

Dear Chicago,

Despite your professed intellectual environment, the lone UChicago student I know spent most of his time in UG 1) in his frat, 2) getting wasted or snorting coke in his frat, or 3) talking about getting wasted or snorting coke, in his frat or elsewhere.

I, on the other hand, more prudently balanced my academics with getting wasted, and achieved a BETTER GPA and LSAT score than he.

I will take my love of learning elsewhere.

-amkid

This person must have been the single most interesting person to attend Chicago as an UG. He still sounds like a douche, but he might have been less of a douche than the typical U of C undergrad.

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train. We could have walked to the red line, but then we would have been killed since U of C was surrounded on all sides by a gang-infested post-industrial wasteland.

Don't go to Hyde Park to learn anything or to have any fun. If you would like to buy crack, an unregistered firearm, or bland vegetarian food, then it is the place to be.

Needless to say, they rejected me as well. Consider this the intro to my forthcoming ding bar contribution.

Beautiful. Best pre-DING intro I've seen in recent memory-- my mouth is watering for the main course. Hit it!

PS - Love the Chicago guy getting offended. Lol

[masochist]

Needless to say, they rejected me as well. Consider this the intro to my forthcoming ding bar contribution.

I certainly don't hope you get more rejections, but I definitely want you to contribute more to the ding bar.

I foolishly applied to Harvard and Berkeley. More rejections are definately in the works. I doubt I'll be able to be quite as rageful about those, unfortunately. Rejection at U of C = probably moving out of Chicago + the likely end of my relationship with my girlfriend + moving away from all of my really good friends + the sting of being told that I am not quite good enough. I am pissed (perhaps unfairly), and I intend to express my anger in the most childish way possible.

Be warned, U of C. Internetz vengence will be mine.

[paisaaa]

Dear Chicago,

Despite your professed intellectual environment, the lone UChicago student I know spent most of his time in UG 1) in his frat, 2) getting wasted or snorting coke in his frat, or 3) talking about getting wasted or snorting coke, in his frat or elsewhere.

I, on the other hand, more prudently balanced my academics with getting wasted, and achieved a BETTER GPA and LSAT score than he.

I will take my love of learning elsewhere.

-amkid

This person must have been the single most interesting person to attend Chicago as an UG. He still sounds like a douche, but he might have been less of a douche than the typical U of C undergrad.

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train. We could have walked to the red line, but then we would have been killed since U of C was surrounded on all sides by a gang-infested post-industrial wasteland.

Don't go to Hyde Park to learn anything or to have any fun. If you would like to buy crack, an unregistered firearm, or bland vegetarian food, then it is the place to be.

Needless to say, they rejected me as well. Consider this the intro to my forthcoming ding bar contribution.

LOLOLOL. Major kudos, masochist.

Edited for sympathy inspired by your latest post about the implications inherent in having to leave Chicago.

[applepiecrust]

Needless to say, they rejected me as well. Consider this the intro to my forthcoming ding bar contribution.

I certainly don't hope you get more rejections, but I definitely want you to contribute more to the ding bar.

I foolishly applied to Harvard and Berkeley. More rejections are definately in the works. I doubt I'll be able to be quite as rageful about those, unfortunately. Rejection at U of C = probably moving out of Chicago + the likely end of my relationship with my girlfriend + moving away from all of my really good friends + the sting of being told that I am not quite good enough. I am pissed (perhaps unfairly), and I intend to express my anger in the most childish way possible.

Be warned, U of C. Internetz vengence will be mine.

That was a great ding bar contribution. Northwestern should work out for you so you can stay in Chicago.

[4102011]

--ImageRemoved--

[Gemini]

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train.

This sounds like Yale/Harvard.

[DeeCee]

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train.

Who has a roll your own veg sushi bar at a party anyways? lol--how pretentious.

At my undergrad, parties were considered awesome if they had a reggae band playing in the house or something.

[lhlee]

I am willing to ... never shave my legs again (or my pooty).

What is this? I've never heard of this...

From what I was able to deduce from the movie "Jerry McGuire," pooty is something that one shouldn't shoplift.

Just to clarify because the most important restriction was left out. You do not shoplift the pooty from a single mother.

All others are fair game...

These are not my words. Just dropping knowledge

[Papa Smurf]

Dear Illinois,

Thanks for rejecting my hail mary application (at least you were reasonably quick and nice about it...), now I don't have to think about spending 3 years pretending cornfields and department stores are just as sweet at sundown as the Rocky Mountains.

W&L, if you don't take me off the waitlist and accept me, you'll get a much nastier note.

Much love,
Papa Smurf

[paulinaporizkova]

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train.

Who has a roll your own veg sushi bar at a party anyways? lol--how pretentious.

At my undergrad, parties were considered awesome if they had a reggae band playing in the house or something.

At my undergrad, [house] parties were considered awesome only if you were 16 and went to one of the local high schools, or if you were rushing a frat. Everyone else just got fake IDs and went to the bars.

[DeeCee]

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train.

Who has a roll your own veg sushi bar at a party anyways? lol--how pretentious.

At my undergrad, parties were considered awesome if they had a reggae band playing in the house or something.

At my undergrad, [house] parties were considered awesome only if you were 16 and went to one of the local high schools, or if you were rushing a frat. Everyone else just got fake IDs and went to the bars.

You missed out then. Living on the beach, and attending a beach house party with music was way more awesome than the bars. Plus, it was just the opposite at my school-- mostly the frats, sororities, and high school girls got a fake and went downtown. The rest of us chilled in a place where we wouldn't get arrested, lol

[masochist]

That was a great ding bar contribution. Northwestern should work out for you so you can stay in Chicago.

I really hope so. There is one part of my application (that I can't really talk about because it would be too identifying) that would make this less likely than it might seem, but I am hoping NU doesn't care about it as much as I fear that they do.

[czelede]

Dear Illinois,

Thanks for rejecting my hail mary application (at least you were reasonably quick and nice about it...), now I don't have to think about spending 3 years pretending cornfields and department stores are just as sweet at sundown as the Rocky Mountains.

W&L, if you don't take me off the waitlist and accept me, you'll get a much nastier note.

Much love,
Papa Smurf

There are no good department stores in Champaign.

[unc0mm0n1]

Dear Chicago,

Despite your professed intellectual environment, the lone UChicago student I know spent most of his time in UG 1) in his frat, 2) getting wasted or snorting coke in his frat, or 3) talking about getting wasted or snorting coke, in his frat or elsewhere.

I, on the other hand, more prudently balanced my academics with getting wasted, and achieved a BETTER GPA and LSAT score than he.

I will take my love of learning elsewhere.

-amkid

This person must have been the single most interesting person to attend Chicago as an UG. He still sounds like a douche, but he might have been less of a douche than the typical U of C undergrad.

I once went to a U of C undergrad party; there was a roll your own vegetarian sushi bar and an insufficient amount of cheap red wine. The only music was some sort of light jazz world music crap. Most of the conversations were painfully obvious attempts to protect the students' fragile egos from the intolerable narcissistic injury of not being as smart as someone (anyone) else. All of them came to U of C only because they were rejected by better schools. A smelly girl tried to flirt with me, but she mostly made me feel uncomfortable in the "bad touch" way. Festivities ended before midnight because all of the people from outside of Hyde Park had to make the last metra train. We could have walked to the red line, but then we would have been killed since U of C was surrounded on all sides by a gang-infested post-industrial wasteland.

Don't go to Hyde Park to learn anything or to have any fun. If you would like to buy crack, an unregistered firearm, or bland vegetarian food, then it is the place to be.

Needless to say, they rejected me as well. Consider this the intro to my forthcoming ding bar contribution.

I'm actually from that, how did you put it "gang-infested post-industrial wasteland" so I'd have no trouble walking to the red line at night since I did it for years. C'mon Chicago let people in who can stay late at the parties!!!!!!!!

[ClancyTom]

Dear Duke,

It's not you.

It's me.

I flirted with you.
Teased you.
Kissed you.
Touched you.
Told you that you were my one and only.

I gave you my promise.
My word.
My honor.
Crossed my heart and hoped to die stuck a needle in my eye.
I gave you something that I've never given a man before...

...I gave you my ED.

But I lied, didn't I?
You knew I was flirting with other schools, but you didn't want to see the truth.
You were blind.
Dumb.
Deaf.
Ignorant.
You called it "silly notions", "hopeless dreams", "harmless fun".
And that's what I told you.
And you believed it.

But today I told you something different...
The truth.
I told you I'm in love.
That I'm madly,
Grossly,
Wildly,
Passionately,
In love...

With Cornell. Sure she's a frozen hearted Ithacan bitch, but at least she's IVY...
SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER BE.
Oh? What? You're surprised? Ha! Well then you should know,
I'm looking at Michigan too! And UCLA! And Georgetown!
And even that "goody two shoes" piece of tail Washington & Lee...
What can I say? I like a man in uniform.
Oh, and did I mention Lewis & Clark? It's incredible what that explorer will pay to explore my academic ability.
Unlike you, Notre Dame LOVES it when I put on my catholic school uniform.

*Sigh*
I wish there was a different way... an easy way.
There wasn't.
I'm sorry.
But taking back my ED and switching to regular admissions was the only thing I could do!
And it was a slap in the face.
I know.
I get it.

But did you have to be so quick?
Could you have least gone outside and thought about it?
Could you have at least said "I just don't know about us anymore"?
No.
You waitlisted me in forty-six minutes.
Email sent.
Email received.
Forty-six minutes later.
Waitlist.

Well I can't wait anymore, Duke.
I have to be who I am.
And if that means letting WUSTL throw dirty dirty wads of $$$$ at me, so be it.
I can't hide it anymore.
If that means a menage a trois with William AND Mary, then get me a plane ticket to Virginia.
I'm ready.

It's not you Duke.

It's me.

[Gemini]

Brilliant job, Clancy!!