So it's like this... You're an Ivy League university that no one has ever heard of. For awhile I thought you were cool because your campus was featured in Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (a movie that I like), but I soon realized that the majority of the footage was actually from Princeton (you know, that one Ivy League school in New Jersey that literally EVERYONE has heard of?).
What I found most interesting about your university, however, is that the whole "no one has any idea who I am" thing is actually a recurring motif that pervades almost every aspect of your painfully long and undistinguished legacy.
For example, James Wilson was an 18th century legal scholar that signed both the Declaration of Independence and the United States Constitution; but by virtue of the fact that he attended The Academy and College of Philadelphia (modern day University of Pennsylvania) in the 1700s, NO ONE has ever heard of him.
I saw what you did to this honorable man's career, and I WILL NOT let you do it to mine.
Warren Buffett, one of the world's most successful investors and graduate of the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business, literally had to get a Master's Degree at Columbia (another Ivy League university that enjoys a profusion of scholarly admiration and international name recognition) so his peers would respect his knowledge and intellect. He knew in 1950 what I know now - NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD OF THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA.
For the edification of TLS, other "famous" alumni of Penn include Ralph Brinster, Roger Young (a zoologist who, in spite of her first name, is actually a woman), Andrea Mitchell (gross) and this one dermatologist named Louis Dehrung. Their alumni base was so pitiful that Penn actually had to get a Harvard graduate (Amy Guttman) to run their university.
Also, Lamb of God (an awesome metal band) no longer resides in Philadelphia and people in and around your city tend to talk like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3lZFiyd_-0