Dear Lewis & Clark,
When I got your email today, I was thrilled. And then I read it. While I would love to wait until late-April/early-May for you to determine how many admitted students have told you to piss off so you could take a second look at my application, I've got to make a decision. So, while your incessant emails and admission-sized envelops have been exhilarating, I must move on. Further, my wife is not convinced that the dream of the 90's is alive in Portland.
Good luck on future endeavors.