THE DING BAR Forum

[boozehound]

Dear Berkeley:

You try so hard to portray a holistic-review school image, but I've been in bed with you. You're no such thing. UCLA is better than you.

so true.

[helloperson]

Dear Berkeley,

How can you possibly claim to have the best ip program in the country if it's run by a bunch of humanities majors?

-hp

P.s. Fuck your face.
P.p.s. UCB is where all the UCLA rejects go for undergrad.

[jplwine]

Dear Berkeley,

I faked every orgasm.

[TheTopBloke]

Hey Northwestern,

Chicago is cold, and I prefer my politics to be at least as clean as those of the state of Louisiana.

Jacketman03

LMAO

[TheTopBloke]

Dear Berkeley,

I am too liberal for you anyway.

-DvB

+1 very cool.

[TheTopBloke]

Dear Georgetown,

I thought I would be weepy when you dinged me. After all, it was my first one and I really thought I wanted you most. As it turns out, I only had to open your e-mail and read "Dear Mr. Valdez..." to immediately hate you. You generic heartless bitch. Mr. Valdez? Really? I clearly marked "Ms." and "FEMALE" on the application. You only had to change, what, three whole words in the entire rejection letter and you don't even have the decency to get that right? F you. Thanks for re-inspiring me to absolutely CRUSH it in whatever law school I go to, because now I know I don't need you. I never did.

Sincerely,
MS. Valdez

Between this and NWern... are the elite institutions of this country really this incompetent!?

Yes, they are.

[Spack]

Dear UC Davis,

I applied to you as a long shot and it is no surprise that I have been rejected. However, I am bothered by the fact that you feel the need to both send a letter via mail and allow for me to access a pdf version of my mailbox. Was it really necessary to waste the paper? That aside, I didn't really want to be surrounded by farms and the smell of cow manure for another three years. I had enough of that in undergrad.

[kublaikahn]

Dear Berkeley,

How can you possibly claim to have the best ip program in the country if it's run by a bunch of humanities majors?

-hp

P.s. Fuck your face.
P.p.s. UCB is where all the UCLA rejects go for undergrad.

Let me finish this for you

PPPS. The 60's are over, you should move on with your life. Enjoy Stanford's table scraps, you will always be their bitch.

[emmbar53]

Dear Northwestern,

Thank you for holding me. It lets me know that you are a tender, considerate, lover. Unlike Berkeley, who had its way with me and then outright rejected me.

Sincerely,

emmbar53

[lolschool2011]

Dear Berkeley,

I faked every orgasm.

Extra lulz given jplwine's a guy.

[law_monkey]

I apologize that this doesn't exactly qualify as a ding/WL, but since I don't have an acceptance either I think it should still count.

Dear Columbia,

I would like to call you out for treating your applicants like crap. Remember in Legally Blonde when Warner was supposedly the super hot guy that any girl would dream of having but he had that slight flaw of being a total prick? Well just so you know, Columbia, all of us forgotten/holds will find our Emmett by the time you realize that maybe you actually want some of us. After all, if I'm going to be a serious law student by next fall, I need to attend a school that actually understands what it means to make a decision.

- law_monkey

[alphamoose]

I apologize that this doesn't exactly qualify as a ding/WL, but since I don't have an acceptance either I think it should still count.

Dear Columbia,

I would like to call you out for treating your applicants like crap. Remember in Legally Blonde when Warner was supposedly the super hot guy that any girl would dream of having but he had that slight flaw of being a total prick? Well just so you know, Columbia, all of us forgotten/holds will find our Emmett by the time you realize that maybe you actually want some of us. After all, if I'm going to be a serious law student by next fall, I need to attend a school that actually understands what it means to make a decision.

- law_monkey

This is PERFECT.

[4102011]

I apologize that this doesn't exactly qualify as a ding/WL, but since I don't have an acceptance either I think it should still count.

Dear Columbia,

I would like to call you out for treating your applicants like crap. Remember in Legally Blonde when Warner was supposedly the super hot guy that any girl would dream of having but he had that slight flaw of being a total prick? Well just so you know, Columbia, all of us forgotten/holds will find our Emmett by the time you realize that maybe you actually want some of us. After all, if I'm going to be a serious law student by next fall, I need to attend a school that actually understands what it means to make a decision.

- law_monkey

This is PERFECT.

[ciceroJD]

Dear Law Schools (all eleven I have yet to hear from, and two that have waitlisted me),

I am waiting. My back is broad, but it’s a hurting. All I want is for you to make love to me. You can put me out on the street, put me out with no shoes on my feet—but put me out, put me out, put me out of my misery. I need a love to keep me happy. Baby, won’t ya keep me happy?

I’m so hot for her and she’s so cold! Yeah, I tried rewiring her, tried re-firing her; I think her engine is permanently stalled. You’re not the only one with mixed emotions. You’re not the only ship adrift on this ocean.

I’ve buttoned my lip, I’ve buttoned my coat-- but here it comes, here it comes: my 19th nervous breakdown. My brains been battered, splattered all over Manhattan. Look at me, I’m in tatters. I’m a shattered. I see a red door and I want it painted black. No colors any more, I want them to turn black. I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes; I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.

I’m not ashamed to come and plead with you, baby. If I had to beg, plead for sympathy, I don’t mind ‘cause you mean that much to me. Is there nothing I can say, nothing I can do, to change your mind? I’m so in love with you. If I could stick my pen in my heart and spill it all over the stage, would it satisfy ya? Would it slide on by ya? And do ya think that you’re the only girl around? I bet you think you’re the only women in town.

Well the only thing I ask of you is to hand me back some pride. Don’t you dump me on some dusty street and hang me out to dry. This coming and going is driving me nuts. This to-ing and fro-ing is hurting my guts. So get off the fence--Its creasing your butt.
Oh baby, why you wait so long. Won’t you come on! Come on!

Miss you.
Cicero

[ak13]

Dear Law Schools (all eleven I have yet to hear from, and two that have waitlisted me),

I am waiting. My back is broad, but it’s a hurting. All I want is for you to make love to me. You can put me out on the street, put me out with no shoes on my feet—but put me out, put me out, put me out of my misery. I need a love to keep me happy. Baby, won’t ya keep me happy?

I’m so hot for her and she’s so cold! Yeah, I tried rewiring her, tried re-firing her; I think her engine is permanently stalled. You’re not the only one with mixed emotions. You’re not the only ship adrift on this ocean.

I’ve buttoned my lip, I’ve buttoned my coat-- but here it comes, here it comes: my 19th nervous breakdown. My brains been battered, splattered all over Manhattan. Look at me, I’m in tatters. I’m a shattered. I see a red door and I want it painted black. No colors any more, I want them to turn black. I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes; I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.

I’m not ashamed to come and plead with you, baby. If I had to beg, plead for sympathy, I don’t mind ‘cause you mean that much to me. Is there nothing I can say, nothing I can do, to change your mind? I’m so in love with you. If I could stick my pen in my heart and spill it all over the stage, would it satisfy ya? Would it slide on by ya? And do ya think that you’re the only girl around? I bet you think you’re the only women in town.

Well the only thing I ask of you is to hand me back some pride. Don’t you dump me on some dusty street and hang me out to dry. This coming and going is driving me nuts. This to-ing and fro-ing is hurting my guts. So get off the fence--Its creasing your butt.
Oh baby, why you wait so long. Won’t you come on! Come on!

Miss you.
Cicero

impressive. i like it.

[kkklick]

Hey U Illinois, how many of your alum had to bang the editors for US News and World report to rank you 21st? Don't worry I'm not mad, even if I got in you wouldn't have given me any money and a 40,000/year price tag to boot...

All in all Uchicago wipes the floor with you in every way possible.

I appreciate the e-mail about 5 days after I went UR. The fact that you didn't even bother to read my app after seeing that my stats were slightly below your medians shows what a half-assed school you are.

Fuck ya

[Rikkugrrl]

Hello, UGA. I want to play a game.

For years you've kept your prestigious position as a highly ranked law school. Fueled by the desire to get back into the top 30, you make your admissions decisions based on GPA and LSAT alone, without any consideration for the most important factor of all: the will to live. How many LSAT points is the survival instinct worth? You're about to find out.

In sixty seconds, all of your most promising students will act on their own survival instinct in this economy. They will simultaneously realize that you are a sinking ship, crushed under the weight of better ranked schools in an abysmal legal market. They will transfer out, leaving you with the B- grade grubbers who spend their weekends cow tipping and only know where the library is due to its proximity to a nuddy bar. You'll fall so far in the rankings they'll have to invent a new Tier for you. The only way you can stop this is to take Rikkugrrl off the waitlist.

Tier 1 or Tier 5, UGA. Make your choice.

(Hee. Saw.)

[akili]

Hey UVAsshole,

I would rather spend 3 years in MICHIGAN than go to you! (pleaseletmegetintomichigan) Plus, though your campus is nice, your law schools is pretty damn ugly. It looks like a bunker. If the world ends, at least frat-tastic lawyers will be protected from radiation....I'd rather not make it.

Sincerely,
Akili.

[krad]

Hey UVAsshole,

I would rather spend 3 years in MICHIGAN than go to you! (pleaseletmegetintomichigan) Plus, though your campus is nice, your law schools is pretty damn ugly. It looks like a bunker. If the world ends, at least frat-tastic lawyers will be protected from radiation....I'd rather not make it.

Sincerely,
Akili.

lollllllll

[Kinderby]

It looks like a bunker. If the world ends, at least frat-tastic lawyers will be protected from radiation....I'd rather not make it.

Sincerely,
Akili

LOVE it. And I didn't know you had it in you, but I am glad you do! I almost want more ding posts from you? (But not; you know what I mean.)

[jackattack17]

why, tell me why, why, why georgia why (are you such an lsat whore and so discriminatory towards non-georgians)?

i can't really think of anything else mean to say. i would've loved to have gotten in.

keep 'em coming, people.

[NorCalBruin]

Dear UVA,

Sure you might have a decent law school (the best inbred professors in the nation!), but you're just another no-name, done-nothing, what's-it-called-again joke to everyone else. In fact, when I told my parents that I applied to UVA they said, "That's great, but aren't you going to apply to some good schools too?"

On the plus side, at least you rejected me. After tailoring a personal statement and "Why X" essay just to you, I now know that your admissions process is entirely a numbers game. That's great, because now I won't have to waste my precious time writing a LOCI or sending in LORs to get off the worst waitlist in the country (hint: yours).

Sincerely,

NorCal

P.S. Don't worry. When Cooley adds "Number of Tools and Douchebags as a % of Student Body" to their rankings next year, you and Duke will be back on top!

[msridiculous447]

Hello, UGA. I want to play a game.

For years you've kept your prestigious position as a highly ranked law school. Fueled by the desire to get back into the top 30, you make your admissions decisions based on GPA and LSAT alone, without any consideration for the most important factor of all: the will to live. How many LSAT points is the survival instinct worth? You're about to find out.

In sixty seconds, all of your most promising students will act on their own survival instinct in this economy. They will simultaneously realize that you are a sinking ship, crushed under the weight of better ranked schools in an abysmal legal market. They will transfer out, leaving you with the B- grade grubbers who spend their weekends cow tipping and only know where the library is due to its proximity to a nuddy bar. You'll fall so far in the rankings they'll have to invent a new Tier for you. The only way you can stop this is to take Rikkugrrl off the waitlist.

Tier 1 or Tier 5, UGA. Make your choice.

(Hee. Saw.)

<3 <3 <3 and I didn't even apply to UGA.

[akili]

P.S. Don't worry. When Cooley adds "Number of Tools and Douchebags as a % of Student Body" to their rankings next year, you and Duke will be back on top!

lol. Nicely done NorCal!

[msridiculous447]

Sure you might have a decent law school (the best inbred professors in the nation!), but you're just another no-name, done-nothing, what's-it-called-again joke to everyone else. In fact, when I told my parents that I applied to UVA they said, "That's great, but aren't you going to apply to some good schools too?"