THE DING BAR Forum

lolschool2011 · Post by **lolschool2011** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 11:57 am

Penn's motto is based on a line from Horace’s III.24 (Book 3, Ode 24), quid leges sine moribus vanae proficiunt? ("of what avail empty laws without [good] morals?") From 1756 to 1898, the motto read Sine Moribus Vanae. When it was pointed out that the motto could be translated as "Loose women without morals," the university quickly changed the motto to literae sine moribus vanae ("Letters without morals [are] useless"). In 1932, all elements of the seal were revised, and as part of the redesign it was decided that the new motto "mutilated" Horace, and it was changed to its present wording, Leges Sine Moribus Vanae ("Laws without morals [are] useless").

Penn, you and your loose women need to get it together. It shouldn't take over 30 years to figure out a fucking motto - get some Latin lessons.

eaglemuncher · Post by **eaglemuncher** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:01 pm

emhellmer wrote:
Shooter wrote:Alright Penn,

So it's like this... You're an Ivy League university that no one has ever heard of.

What I found most interesting about your university, however, is that the whole "no one has any idea who I am" thing is actually a recurring motif that pervades almost every aspect of your painfully long and undistinguished legacy.

NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD OF THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA.

Love,

Shooter
This is the most ignorant post to date. How could you say that no one has ever heard of Penn? I don't know where Joe Paterno went to college, but he is a legend in our own time! This is one of the most fabled football programs of all time! Are law students so isolated and ignorant that...oh wait. Never mind.

I get the joke....but I am reading a book about him right now and he went to Brown.

math101 · Post by **math101** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 4:13 pm

Dear Harvard,

Admit it, you rejected me because you're bitter, didn't you? I'm sorry my graduate alma mater ousted yours for the best ranked university in the world (http://www.usnews.com/articles/educatio ... -400-.html). I'd give you a tissue, but I'm too busy hanging out in the real Cambridge. So, your rejection really helps me sympathize with you: now I know what it feels like to be perpetually second best.

Cheers

math101 · Post by **math101** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 4:18 pm

Shooter wrote: Lol, omg. I didn't think that was going to be the "take away" line. But, yeah, I thought the movie was entertaining. Can we get back to hating on schools now - as opposed to hating on Shooter's taste in cinema?

Shooter, love the 'tar! "Ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?"

Shooter · Post by **Shooter** » Sun Jan 09, 2011 7:02 pm

Thanks math101!

Old Gregg is my favorite scaly man-fish (assuming there are others)!

fridgeymonster3 · Post by **fridgeymonster3** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:57 am

2Serious4Numbers wrote: ... And they have been known to throw snowballs at Santa fyi

Fuck Santa. That fat jolly bastard deserved to be taken down a peg or two!

softsgalore · Post by **softsgalore** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:37 pm

Dear Michigan:

The fifteen foot snow drifts outside my Minnesota window today are yet another reminder of why I never really wanted to attend your hellhole. I know you've got national reach, but you'd just about have to, since ROBOCOP was actually a rosy picture of 21st century Detroit compared to the reality. I will be so disappointed to be unable to spend my entire top-law-schools.com in a quad undergoing construction of new buildings -- I totally wanted to deal with construction crews working while I'm trying to fucking study in the law library.

Your campus's beauty is the first thing you emphasize in your dean's message. Ah yes, who can forget those lazy afternoons spent stretched out in the quad, watching your limbs blacken due to frostbite? And then, the campus is just minutes from the vibrancy of...Ann Arbor? Really? At least Madison and Champaign and Iowa City, all the other big state land-grant university cities in the midwest, are surrounded by the "amber waves of grain" in all directions. Not Ann Arbor, nope. If I decide that I want a school to be close to the nearest driveby, I'll give you a call for transfer admissions.

But hey, even though your city sucks, I've got to give the real estate market credit. Two point five to three grand for a four bedroom? Are you fucking SERIOUS? With that kind of money I could get a similarly sized apartment in DC or something spectacular in Nashville, or go to Champaign and go on a cruise EVERY MONTH, and in each of these scenarios I'd live next to real, genuine human beings instead of the fratty monstrosities that Mich refers to as "undergrads." You can't charge for culture when your only culture is football games and frat houses, dumbfucks. I could have gotten a cheap apartment, sure -- if I wanted to move as far away as godforsaken Ypsilanti, a post-apocalyptic rust belt ghost town which is one of the casualties of industry moving out of the state thanks to folks like the biglaw corporate whores you produce with such astonishing consistency.

Enjoy watching your state self-destruct because of the end of American empire. I plan to watch from somewhere that gives me a bunch of money to go to law school, since I view the law as a way to actually do something decent for society rather than a place to grind for BigLaw jobs while racking up a home mortgage's worth of debt.

Kisses,

Softsgalore

Dany · Post by **Dany** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:42 pm

softsgalore wrote:Dear Michigan:

Kisses,

Softsgalore

Ah, the Ding Bar is back in its element.

That was great, softs. I especially liked "Ah yes, who can forget those lazy afternoons spent stretched out in the quad, watching your limbs blacken due to frostbite?"

Their loss!

paulinaporizkova · Post by **paulinaporizkova** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:44 pm

Dear Michigan,

One of your most notable alums is Ann Coulter. Nuff said. But thanks for the fee waiver! I'll take my UVA acceptance and full ride scholarship plus living stipend at UMN elsewhere. Oh yeah, and fuck you up the ass for not even giving me a waitlist!

Paulina

123xalady · Post by **123xalady** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:48 pm

paulinaporizkova wrote:Dear Michigan,

One of your most notable alums is Ann Coulter. Nuff said. But thanks for the fee waiver! I'll take my UVA acceptance and full ride scholarship plus living stipend at UMN elsewhere. Oh yeah, and fuck you up the ass for not even giving me a waitlist!

Paulina

ahaha the sheer hostility in this post is wonderful

paulinaporizkova · Post by **paulinaporizkova** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:51 pm

What the fucking shit??? I just got rejected at Michigan and WAITLISTED at UChicago!!! Seriously...what the fuck.

fundamentallybroken · Post by **fundamentallybroken** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:04 pm

paulinaporizkova wrote:What the fucking shit??? I just got rejected at Michigan and WAITLISTED at UChicago!!! Seriously...what the fuck.

The mid-west doesn't want you. Fuckers.

paulinaporizkova · Post by **paulinaporizkova** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:06 pm

fundamentallybroken wrote:
paulinaporizkova wrote:What the fucking shit??? I just got rejected at Michigan and WAITLISTED at UChicago!!! Seriously...what the fuck.
The mid-west doesn't want you. Fuckers.

whoa whoa did i offend you in some way? dang. i live here so i hope it does....at least sorta

dcwumpus · Post by **dcwumpus** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:06 pm

softsgalore wrote:Dear Michigan:
...

Kisses,

Softsgalore

As a proud Michigan resident, this cut deep - which means you're doing it right.

+1,000,000 points for the excellent Robocop reference.

Bela · Post by **Bela** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:07 pm

Suck it Chicago.

paulinaporizkova · Post by **paulinaporizkova** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:08 pm

paulinaporizkova wrote:
fundamentallybroken wrote:
paulinaporizkova wrote:What the fucking shit??? I just got rejected at Michigan and WAITLISTED at UChicago!!! Seriously...what the fuck.
The mid-west doesn't want you. Fuckers.
whoa whoa did i offend you in some way? dang. i live here so i hope it does....at least sorta

Oh wait, i should specify that i'm SHOCKED with the WL...as in i thought i'd get dinged

fundamentallybroken · Post by **fundamentallybroken** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:12 pm

paulinaporizkova wrote:
paulinaporizkova wrote:
fundamentallybroken wrote:
paulinaporizkova wrote:What the fucking shit??? I just got rejected at Michigan and WAITLISTED at UChicago!!! Seriously...what the fuck.
The mid-west doesn't want you. Fuckers.
whoa whoa did i offend you in some way? dang. i live here so i hope it does....at least sorta
Oh wait, i should specify that i'm SHOCKED with the WL...as in i thought i'd get dinged

No offense here, but I'm not in the midwest! (At least, I don't think so... Denver is mountain west now, right?)

paulinaporizkova · Post by **paulinaporizkova** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:15 pm

oh ok. i guess i'm just a little wound up right now. no no, denver doesn't count as the midwest because it's considered a place where people actually *want* to live.

weejonbu · Post by **weejonbu** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:16 pm

softsgalore wrote:Dear Michigan:

Kisses,

Softsgalore

This was quite good, Softs. Even poetic. Hats off to ya'.

On a side note, I didn't even get around to applying to Michigan... two extra frickin' essays? Really? WTF? More fodder to feed your English Masters students? I so do not regret saying goodbye before we ever said hello.

Here's to more good DING rants... cheers

law_monkey · Post by **law_monkey** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:17 pm

weejonbu wrote:
softsgalore wrote:Dear Michigan:

Kisses,

Softsgalore
This was quite good, Softs. Even poetic. Hats off to ya'.

On a side note, I didn't even get around to applying to Michigan... two extra frickin' essays? Really? WTF? More fodder to feed your English Masters students? I so do not regret saying goodbye before we ever said hello.

Here's to more good DING rants... cheers

I have my Harvard ding rant prepared, but they put me on hold today so now it's going to be an even longer wait before I get to use it.

paisaaa · Post by **paisaaa** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:21 pm

law_monkey wrote:
weejonbu wrote:
softsgalore wrote:Dear Michigan:

Kisses,

Softsgalore
This was quite good, Softs. Even poetic. Hats off to ya'.

On a side note, I didn't even get around to applying to Michigan... two extra frickin' essays? Really? WTF? More fodder to feed your English Masters students? I so do not regret saying goodbye before we ever said hello.

Here's to more good DING rants... cheers
I have my Harvard ding rant prepared, but they put me on hold today so now it's going to be an even longer wait before I get to use it.

Mine's ready, too! So much for their notoriously quick turnaround.

Edited to congratulate softs on a very entertaining post. I'm assuming there are a handful of FUChicago's being drafted as I write this...

ThreeYears · Post by **ThreeYears** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 8:54 pm

paulinaporizkova wrote:Dear Michigan,

One of your most notable alums is Ann Coulter. Nuff said. But thanks for the fee waiver! I'll take my UVA acceptance and full ride scholarship plus living stipend at UMN elsewhere. Oh yeah, and fuck you up the ass for not even giving me a waitlist!

Paulina

The most notable Mich alum in my book is Ari Gold.

softsgalore · Post by **softsgalore** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:00 pm

valengina wrote:
law_monkey wrote:
weejonbu wrote:
softsgalore wrote:Dear Michigan:

Kisses,

Softsgalore
This was quite good, Softs. Even poetic. Hats off to ya'.

On a side note, I didn't even get around to applying to Michigan... two extra frickin' essays? Really? WTF? More fodder to feed your English Masters students? I so do not regret saying goodbye before we ever said hello.

Here's to more good DING rants... cheers
I have my Harvard ding rant prepared, but they put me on hold today so now it's going to be an even longer wait before I get to use it.
Mine's ready, too! So much for their notoriously quick turnaround.

Edited to congratulate softs on a very entertaining post. I'm assuming there are a handful of FUChicago's being drafted as I write this...

Yeah, well, apparently all of you like my writing better than the philistines at Michigan.

paulinaporizkova · Post by **paulinaporizkova** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:04 pm

ThreeYears wrote:
paulinaporizkova wrote:Dear Michigan,

One of your most notable alums is Ann Coulter. Nuff said. But thanks for the fee waiver! I'll take my UVA acceptance and full ride scholarship plus living stipend at UMN elsewhere. Oh yeah, and fuck you up the ass for not even giving me a waitlist!

Paulina
The most notable Mich alum in my book is Ari Gold.

a jew and a jew hater! michigan likes to stir the pot.

applepiecrust · Post by **applepiecrust** » Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:30 pm

Dear soon-to-be alma mater,

You sent me a waitlist email a mere half hour after I sent you an email withdrawing my application. It seems that my timing is immaculate, because I turned you down altogether before you expressed your intention to keep me hanging. It made your decision rendered email seem like a pathetic jilted lover trying to assert his supremacy over the former lover that just dumped him.

I know we were not the most compatible match to begin with. I understand you are an LSAT whore, dear school, and I seem to not be up to your LSAT whoring, Andy Cornblatt claiming to be "holistic" standards, even if I am good enough for superior schools. Perhaps my demonstrated commitment to public service at your undergrad institution demonstrated too high a moral standard for you, since you boast the likes of Jack Abramoff and Kavya Vishwanathan amongst your alumni.

Still, I know it was hard for you to handle my withdrawal from your school, but please understand that I am bored stiff of Georgetown, and could not by any means handle three more years here (even if it means trading it for the icy tundras of Michigan and the embarrassment of knowing Ann Coulter will share my law school pedigree; yes, that is really how badly I want to leave). I have even run out of bars and restaurants and women to date here. This relationship was getting suffocating and destructive, so I am glad that we have come to the mutual understanding that we no longer desire each.

At any rate, what I am saying is, it's not me, it's you.

It's been nice knowing you, but we are over. And no, I will not be paying you alimony (alumni donation). Please don't contact me again.

Love,
Apple Pie
Georgetown University School of Foreign Service ('11)

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