My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

lawschoolhelp
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:40 pm

My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby lawschoolhelp » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:28 pm

Ok, I know this may not be the best place to find advice but I am not sure what to do. My boyfriend took the LSAT in June and cancelled because of the Dino game (apparently it screwed a lot of people up). He was scoring in the high 160's/low 170's before the June Test. Over the summer, he studied almost every weekend (we both have fairly time consuming jobs in finance, leaving the weekends the only time for him to study) and he consistently scored in the low/mid 170's (on new tests that I graded). After he took the september test, he felt fairly confident and kept saying "I am sure that I did well and my hard work will pay off." He got his score on friday....a 158 (a point higher than his diagnostic)! I am not sure what sections he messed up in, but I think he got 5 questions wrong on the games and almost 15 wrong on the reasoning (I did not actually see his score report). I know he did not sleep that well the night before the test, but I am still very surprised given how confident he was after the exam.

We both graduated from a top 20 undergrad, but he always did better than me in school (he had a 3.85 and graduated summa cum laude). His professor even nominated him for alumni donation based scholarship for graduate school. He has all of his applications finished and even has a reccomendation from the president of our university (he was a presidental scholar at our school). Now, he is completely devastated and depressed. He pretty much collapsed on the floor and cried after he got his score (in our four years dating, I have NEVER seen him cry or ever that upset). He had dreams of going to Columbia, and now he said there is no way that they (or any school of that caliber) would ever take anyone with his scores, even if he improved. He makes comments that a score like that on record ruins someone's chances to ever go to top 10 school.

The thing that gets to me is that I have been trying to console him and make him feel better, but nothing seems to work. He keeps on saying that there is no practice exams left for him to study off of and there is no hope. He says that this test is an intelligence test, and that if he could not do well in the exam and perform well under pressure, he will probably fail out of law school anyway. The thing that gets to me is that he is actually incredibly smart and has done very amazing things that I think will help him get into a good law school. He not only has a great undergrad record and good work experience but he is also a very devoted volunteer Big Brother for six years now for a young kid who has down syndrome (he sees his little brother once every two weeks). He has never been the type to sulk, but he is now so completely broken that it scares me. He is completely ashamed to call his professors back (who called him) to tell them his scores and even respond to all of his friends that asked him how he did. He also knows that he no longer has a shot at the scholarship that his professor nominated him for. He makes comments about how he spent almost a year preparing for this exam and has nothing to show for it. I think he is afraid that all of his professors and friends will no longer think he is smart or deserves to attend a top law school because of his score.

I guess what I am trying to find out, is there anyone else who cancelled their lsat once, got a less than favorable score and took it for the third time and succeeded? Any success stories with schools like Columbia, Yale, NYU or Upenn? Anyone else has dealt with significant other that faced a similar dilemma? I just kind of want to tell him stories about people who have dealt with similar setbacks that hindered confidence levels and still succeeded without compromising their dreams.

I am sorry for the long post. Its just really difficult to see someone that had the best attitude about everything in life transform into this depressed person just because of one test. If anyone has any constructive advice or any stories that can help me, I would truly appreciate it.



dakatz
Posts: 2460
Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:19 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby dakatz » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:34 pm

Your story really makes me feel bad for him. And I guess all I can think of is, perhaps he can take it again? Maybe it was just a case of the test-day jitters? And remember, its only been 2 days since scores came out. I think he may need a bit more time to put things in perspective.
Last edited by dakatz on Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LSHPFL10
Posts: 72
Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 10:12 am

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby LSHPFL10 » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:34 pm

I personally don't have any stories, but - for what it's worth - you are an awesome person. With you around to support and encourage him, I'm sure your boyfriend will find a way through this.

User avatar
OperaSoprano
Posts: 4410
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:54 am

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby OperaSoprano » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:36 pm

Many T10 schools take the highest LSAT. I know of one retaker who a made huge jump and got into CLS, and another quite famous case of a 160--->176. She ended up with a full ride to UVA, IIRC. No need to give up yet.

User avatar
tomhobbes
Posts: 455
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:20 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby tomhobbes » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:36 pm

I don't think your boyfriend is correct that with a cancel and a 158 on his record his chances at a t10 school are shot. With a 3.85/cancel/158/172, for instance, I'm sure he'd get into somewhere good. Most schools, even the really good ones, just take the highest score, especially if there's a large gap present. Really, this kind of LSAT record would only ruin his chances at Yale, Harvard, and Stanford, I think, and maybe Columbia.

Yimbeezy
Posts: 122
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2009 3:55 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby Yimbeezy » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:39 pm

Get him to try to retake. Also console him by reminding him that: (A) If he was practicing in the high 160s/170s, he is clearly intelligent enough to do well in law school; and (B) if he truly wants a legal career, he doesn't need to go to a tippity top law school. If ya'll know where you want to live, he should go to whatever school he can get into in the area, bust his ass in school, graduate towards the top of the class, and be set later. It sounds like he's got great support from you, just try to help rewire his thinking.

User avatar
OperaSoprano
Posts: 4410
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:54 am

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby OperaSoprano » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:42 pm

A well known poster from last cycle:

http://lawschoolnumbers.com/TankiePankie

User avatar
The Zeppelin
Posts: 198
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 1:03 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby The Zeppelin » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:44 pm

Flame.

If not, dump him because he cried over the LSAT.

User avatar
DoubleChecks
Posts: 2333
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:35 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby DoubleChecks » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:46 pm

Won't lie, that score hurts his chances at T5, but I wouldn't say 0% for CLS, if that is his dream school. Of course on a retake he would need to score a lot higher than what he's practice averaging at.

You sound like an awesome girlfriend, and it worries me a bit (from a psychological point of view) that your boyfriend is having such a hard time adapting to his score, especially since he has no history of emotional collapses. Have things always gone great in his life? Maybe a set back is just what he needs from a mental/emotional health point of view. But eh, I'm talking out of my ass, and scores have only been out a few days so maybe he just needs to adjust.

Figure out what went wrong though. Have his practice tests been under real conditions? Because a 170ish pt avg and a 158 actual score is QUITE a drop (esp. if he felt good about the test). Find out what went wrong here first.

If he can score 170+ on his 3rd try, I think he could crack T14, so his future is hardly 'bleak.'

Best of luck to you and your bf! Oh and because you sound like you are probably a pretty amazing gf, as a side note, tell me if any of your ameliorating tactics/comments works on making him feel better. My gf is prone to more frequent, albeit smaller, bouts of confidence-breakers and as a man, I suck a lot at trying to cheer her up (I focus too much on what went wrong and how to fix it lol).

Tips appreciated!

User avatar
Emma.
Posts: 2401
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:57 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby Emma. » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:49 pm

I'm sorry that you are going to have to deal with your boyfriend battling through the stress of LSAT prep and waiting again, but retaking is without a doubt his best option. He is capable of doing really well (obviously) from his PTs. There is some great prep advice on this site if he doesn't come here already, so maybe once he comes to terms with his score you can send him this way.

You really are a great g/f for doing this for him and being so supportive. Hope he realizes how lucky he is to have you.

Many great schools will take the higher LSAT score, and if he can write an addendum explaining his performance in Sept that will help. He is clearly capable of a high score, and it would be a shame to give up especially with all the other great things he has going for him in terms of GPA and academics 'softs'.

tamlyric
Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:21 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby tamlyric » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:57 pm

Let me first say how sorry I am that things didn't go the way your boyfriend wanted on the test.

So, I have just a couple of quick thoughts--maybe more later.

1. All is not lost--look at everything he has going for him! He needs to pick himself up, dust himself off, get some perspective, and resolve to do everything in his power to accomplish his dreams.

2. Many people make significant gains on the LSAT from test to test. I scored a 157 on my first attempt, and I scored a 170 on my second attempt. The important thing to determine, as others have mentioned, is what went wrong and how it can be remedied on a future test.

Best wishes to you both!

EDIT: for typo.
Last edited by tamlyric on Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:01 pm, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
Helmholtz
Posts: 4394
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby Helmholtz » Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:58 pm

The Zeppelin wrote:If not, dump him because he cried over the LSAT.


TITCR

User avatar
FloridaGirl
Posts: 1417
Joined: Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:44 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby FloridaGirl » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:01 pm

Yikes, I'm so sorry that he's having such a hard time. He needs to forget about the canceled score. It's canceled. I don't know about Columbia but NYU doesn't consider an canceled score as impacting the application. Secondly, many people apply with two LSAT scores. It will affect his application to Columbia, but it doesn't preclude him from being accepted. Believing your entire life hinges on one score can seriously impact your test day performance.


NYU Law FAQ: "How does the Committee view a canceled LSAT score? This has no impact on the evaluation of an application."

Columbia Law FAQ:
"Q: How heavily does LSAT performance factor into admissions decisions?

A: In reviewing applications to Columbia, no weights or relative levels of importance are assigned to any one specific criterion for admission. Indeed, the Admissions Committee takes the entire application into consideration to arrive at a final admissions decision. While strong LSAT scores may certainly indicate strength in one's application, the Committee considers the academic record, along with the other personal and biographical information in the file, most carefully. Back to top
Q: How are multiple LSAT scores viewed?

A: Even though the ABA requires that we report the highest LSAT score, the Committee considers the entire LSAT testing history when evaluating applications for admission."

showNprove
Posts: 968
Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2008 2:52 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby showNprove » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:03 pm

Honestly, grab him by the balls (literally) and ask him if he truly wants to be a lawyer.

Then remind him that schools care so much about numbers because of rankings; then remind him that schools are only required to report the highest LSAT score of each candidate.

If he retakes and gets a 170, sure, he may not go to Columbia, but he sure as hell can get into Georgetown. Tell him to stop getting so worked up and fucking breath while taking the test.



I honestly feel bad for your boyfriend, as he sounds like an incredibly intelligent person. He's obviously beating himself. I think you should challenge him to beat the part of him that's beating himself (does that follow?).

The most important thing to remember is that the game isn't over, and if he wants to win, he can't just lay down and let the clock run out.

lawschoolhelp
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:40 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby lawschoolhelp » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:10 pm

DoubleChecks wrote:Won't lie, that score hurts his chances at T5, but I wouldn't say 0% for CLS, if that is his dream school. Of course on a retake he would need to score a lot higher than what he's practice averaging at.

You sound like an awesome girlfriend, and it worries me a bit (from a psychological point of view) that your boyfriend is having such a hard time adapting to his score, especially since he has no history of emotional collapses. Have things always gone great in his life? Maybe a set back is just what he needs from a mental/emotional health point of view. But eh, I'm talking out of my ass, and scores have only been out a few days so maybe he just needs to adjust.

Figure out what went wrong though. Have his practice tests been under real conditions? Because a 170ish pt avg and a 158 actual score is QUITE a drop (esp. if he felt good about the test). Find out what went wrong here first.

If he can score 170+ on his 3rd try, I think he could crack T14, so his future is hardly 'bleak.'

Best of luck to you and your bf! Oh and because you sound like you are probably a pretty amazing gf, as a side note, tell me if any of your ameliorating tactics/comments works on making him feel better. My gf is prone to more frequent, albeit smaller, bouts of confidence-breakers and as a man, I suck a lot at trying to cheer her up (I focus too much on what went wrong and how to fix it lol).

Tips appreciated!



In terms of academics, school has always come easy to him. I think he was valedictorian in his high school and did very well on his SAT's and in college. Emotionally, I know he has had some setbacks. His father walked away on his family when he seven years old, so he was raised by his mother and grandparents. I think that is why he said he joined the Big Brother program because he always wished he had positive male role model. Even though he did not have the best childhood, you would never know it by knowing him. He is incredibly funny and charismatic all the time. His family does not have much money to help him pay for law school (I even think he sends some money to his sister to support her in college), so he was pretty excited when he was nominated for this great scholarship. I think he is very unstable now because he always had this dream that would work hard and would attend Harvard, Yale or Columbia for law school. I think its still possible for him and even though this scholarship may not work out, he could still study for his LSATs more and still succeed.

In terms of helping him feel better, I am trying to put things in perspective. I am trying to tell him that its completely amazing that he has done so well so far and that it will be even more amazing that you could have persistence to try harder despite setbacks. I guess the best thing to tell your girlfriend is that things work out for a reason, and whatever does not kill you (not literally) just makes you stronger :)

tamlyric
Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:21 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby tamlyric » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:14 pm

showNprove wrote:Honestly, grab him by the balls (literally) and ask him if he truly wants to be a lawyer.

Then remind him that schools care so much about numbers because of rankings; then remind him that schools are only required to report the highest LSAT score of each candidate.

If he retakes and gets a 170, sure, he may not go to Columbia, but he sure as hell can get into Georgetown. Tell him to stop getting so worked up and fucking breath while taking the test.



I honestly feel bad for your boyfriend, as he sounds like an incredibly intelligent person. He's obviously beating himself. I think you should challenge him to beat the part of him that's beating himself (does that follow?).

The most important thing to remember is that the game isn't over, and if he wants to win, he can't just lay down and let the clock run out.


This. :D

User avatar
Lmao Zedong
Posts: 381
Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:10 am

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby Lmao Zedong » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:16 pm

Helmholtz wrote:
The Zeppelin wrote:If not, dump him because he cried over the LSAT.


TITCR


both of you can suck a nut imo

he's not crying over the LSAT just for the sake of crying over the test. he's crying over his belief (whether mistaken or otherwise) of what it means for his future. if i had a real, tangible dream (e.g. attending CLS) and it got shot to pieces you can be damn well sure i'd cry over it. whether he's correct in thinking his dream is shot is immaterial - the fact that he perceives it to be so is certainly enough to justify a good cry.

signed,
a man
Last edited by Lmao Zedong on Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
MTal
Posts: 854
Joined: Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:47 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby MTal » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:16 pm

He sounds like a real loser...I would dump his ass ASAP.

User avatar
D. H2Oman
Posts: 7469
Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 5:47 am

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby D. H2Oman » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:19 pm

MTal wrote:He sounds like a real loser...I would dump his ass ASAP.



Everybody, the always helpful MTAL!! Let's give him a round of applause.!!!

User avatar
Helmholtz
Posts: 4394
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby Helmholtz » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:20 pm

GargamelITT wrote:
Helmholtz wrote:
The Zeppelin wrote:If not, dump him because he cried over the LSAT.


TITCR


both of you can suck a nut imo

he's not crying over the LSAT just for the sake of crying over the test. he's crying over his belief (whether mistaken or otherwise) of what it means for his future. if i had a real, tangible dream (e.g. attending CLS) and it got shot to pieces you can be damn well sure i'd cry over it. whether he's correct in thinking his dream is shot is immaterial - the fact that he perceives it to be so is certainly enough to justify a good cry.

signed,
a man


I thought you were a woman?

User avatar
Lmao Zedong
Posts: 381
Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:10 am

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby Lmao Zedong » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:20 pm

by the way it might not be the wisest idea to be sharing as much personal info about him as you have, particularly in your second post.

User avatar
solotee
Posts: 481
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:20 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby solotee » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:21 pm

He's already got the skills down, but could have snapped under the pressure. I purposely kept my expectations down and didn't let anyone know of my potential schools in fear that I would buckle under pressure knowing that so many people are keeping up with my performance.

I would suggest that he retake, but keep it on the down-low. He'll come in test day with an attitude that if he fails, nobody will know, which in turn will take the pressure off. I don't know, just my two cents.

GL

User avatar
Helmholtz
Posts: 4394
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby Helmholtz » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:21 pm

Dwaterman86 wrote:
MTal wrote:He sounds like a real loser...I would dump his ass ASAP.



Everybody, the always helpful MTAL!! Let's give him a round of applause.!!!


Hey, he's probably speaking from experience in knowing how much women avoid losers.

User avatar
Lmao Zedong
Posts: 381
Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:10 am

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby Lmao Zedong » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:23 pm

Helmholtz wrote:
GargamelITT wrote:
Helmholtz wrote:
The Zeppelin wrote:If not, dump him because he cried over the LSAT.


TITCR


both of you can suck a nut imo

he's not crying over the LSAT just for the sake of crying over the test. he's crying over his belief (whether mistaken or otherwise) of what it means for his future. if i had a real, tangible dream (e.g. attending CLS) and it got shot to pieces you can be damn well sure i'd cry over it. whether he's correct in thinking his dream is shot is immaterial - the fact that he perceives it to be so is certainly enough to justify a good cry.

signed,
a man


I thought you were a woman?


not last time i checked

edit: oh, i see my profile says otherwise. i dunno how that got up there, i should fix it

User avatar
Helmholtz
Posts: 4394
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: My boyfriend is completely depressed bc of LSAT, help

Postby Helmholtz » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:25 pm

GargamelITT wrote:not last time i checked

edit: oh, i see my profile says otherwise. i dunno how that got up there, i should fix it


Oh, in that case, you can disregard all those saucy PM's I sent you. :oops:




Return to “LSAT Prep and Discussion Forum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: bigv and 2 guests