The sun rises.
A bird flies across the horizon, tweeting happily. It is shot from the air and plummets to the ground.
[Thunderstruck begins playing.]
Mrizza sets his shotgun aside. He accepts the tub of war paint from Wormfather, who smears the remainder on his hands across his chest and thumps it as he shouts.
"TONIGHT, WE DINE IN YALE."
Alorain steps into the room. "It's time."
Mrizza, Worm, and the rest of the retakers nod grimly. They have seen the combat they face today before. They have trained for this. They will conquer the land from which they were forced to retreat.
Today they will emerge victorious.
President Obama and Mitt Romney are returning from their super awkward lunch together. Romney squints as he notices a group of people marching down the opposite side of the road in the distance.
"My Mormon God," he says. President Obama looks up from his game of Words With Friends with Putin and gasps.
"Pull the car over," he orders. He and Romney step out from the limousine as the retakers march past on their way to the testing center. Obama raises his hand in salute, and Romney and the Secret Service follow.
"Godspeed," the president whispers, a single tear rolling down his cheek.
Wormfather kicks down the door to the test center as he and the retakers arrive. A nervous young man nearly jumps out of his skin as they storm the hallway.
"How long did you guys study for?" he asks.
They laugh in unison.
"Longer than you've been alive," Mrizza growls.
"Why don't you have any pencils?" a girl asks Wormfather as he scans the room for the proctor.
"I'm writing my answers in BLOOD," he roars, cutting open his palm with a knife. The girl screams. The proctor sees him and approaches.
"Sir, that's not approp-"
He is stopped cold by Wormfather's stare.
"... Carry on."
The retakers seat themselves as booklets begin to be distributed. They smile and nod at each other. Today is their day.
The first section is 26 Must Be True questions. The second, four Basic Linear logic games. The third, four passages from "See Spot Run." The fourth is a connect the dots puzzle which forms a giraffe. The fifth, the experimental, lights itself on fire in shame before the glory of the retakers, taking the writing section with it.
The proctor weeps as he calls time on the final section. "All of you have made 180s. Additionally, you have earned honorary 4.33 GPAs. I bow before you. Please have mercy on my soul."
Alorain steps before the proctor, sword in hand. He raises the sword. The proctor flinches, but Alorain drives the sword into the tiled floor of the testing room.
"You are forgiven," he whispers. The proctor bursts into tears.
The retakers exit the testing center, each to go their own separate ways. Today, they conquered the test. Today, they are heroes.
(Good luck you guys. We're all counting on you.)