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romothesavior

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by romothesavior » Tue May 18, 2010 1:17 pm

Just to piggyback off of my story earlier...

I'm also looking at law school as a way to show this girl what a f*cking mistake she made. I figured the better the LSAT score, then the better school I could get into, the better jobs I could get, more money I'd make, etc. I want to roll up next to this girl in a few years in my BMW and smoking hot wife in the passenger seat and just be like, "Oh hey! How's life? You and Chris still together? Guess what... I'M A JUDGE NOW!" and then speed off.

I know none of this will ever happen... but it is good motivational fodder. :D

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by phx » Tue May 18, 2010 1:17 pm

stratocophic wrote:*Slap* You're a man. The LSAT, the nerd Olympic games, is about to go down. Drop the sensitivity. Redouble your efforts. Feed off of the emotion and dominate, because now is the time for heroes [EDIT: and we reach for the stars]. You want her back? Crush the LSAT, go to a T14, and prove your earning potential (and, by extension, worth as a man).
Go Sam Seaborn.

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Marionberry

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by Marionberry » Tue May 18, 2010 1:19 pm

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Last edited by Marionberry on Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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KibblesAndVick

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by KibblesAndVick » Tue May 18, 2010 1:19 pm

Demonstrate value
Engage physically
Nurture dependence
Neglect emotionally
Inspire hope
Separate entirely

Rocking the LSAT and getting into a prestigious law school will put you well on your way to step one. But in all seriousness, you need to turn this into motivation. Have you ever been in a competition against someone and saw in their eyes the look of a man possessed? There's a fiery intensity but also a merciless and cold detachment. Like what seemed to be a normal event to you was nothing less than a judgment on their value and self worth. When you look in those eyes you know you're already fucked. They're channeling something beyond themselves, using that competition to face down their demons. You should be this person. Walk into the test center with a chip on your shoulder. Turn every pang of pain you feel about her into ruthless motivation. You don't need her, even if you still have feelings for her. If you let her ruin this for you it will make everything that much worse. If she's the reason you exceeded all expectations people had for you then it will make it that much sweeter when you tell her to go fuck herself. At least that's how it worked for me.

Also this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZMTGY5qjqU

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by WWAD » Tue May 18, 2010 1:19 pm

The problem with this topic is that now the OP is studying and I am reading this thing.

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by IAFG » Tue May 18, 2010 1:21 pm


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malfurion

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by malfurion » Tue May 18, 2010 1:22 pm

If you think you can channel all your energy into LSAT studying for the next 3 weeks, then it might be best to put off dealing with any relationship stuff for that long. Let her stay there and just spend your time at the library or friend's place or wherever you can feel comfortable and focused. After you smash the LSAT then sit down with her and figure out who's staying and who's going. I'm definitely not a fan of continuing to live with an ex (been there, done that, learned my lesson) for any extended period of time, but in this case it may be worth it just so you don't have shit blowing up right before you're gonna take your test. On the other hand, if you're an emotional wreck and aren't gonna be able to take the test at 100% of your ability, then you're better off postponing it until October and immediately either moving out or getting her to move out, so that you can get back to having a stable home life asap.

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BaiAilian2013

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by BaiAilian2013 » Tue May 18, 2010 1:22 pm

You say she wants to get back together eventually. Do you? If so, one of you, doesn't much matter who, needs to GTFO immediately and find somewhere else to stay until after the LSAT. I think it's fairly obvious that, as others have said, the LSAT is what matters right now and you can't afford even one day of stress and distractions. But from the relationship standpoint too, at least for most people, "taking a break" while still living together is a guaranteed disaster and will poison any chance you have of fixing the relationship.

If you don't want to get back with her, one of you needs to GTFO anyway, because the fact that you don't have hope for the relationship doesn't stop her from interrupting your LSAT focus with drama.

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by HBK » Tue May 18, 2010 1:26 pm

Either she's already out the door or this is a power struggle.

If it's a power struggle, here's how you win:

Leave, don't talk to her, don't return her calls. If, after three days to a week, she has left you more than a message (text or voice) a day, call her back. Her messages will be along the lines of "I hope you're okay, I've been thinking about you, we need to talk, or I'm sorry."

If it's a power struggle, there will be an air of desperation in her voice. Don't feel bad. Enjoy it, and let her dangle. When you do reconnect, she'll ask why you didn't return her calls tell her "I was busy. You said you wanted space." and leave it at that. In effect, she asked for time away, then came crawling back. This will set the precedent for the rest of your relationship together.

In almost every relationship, there's a party who loves more and a party who loves less. You need to make her think you're the one who loves less (even if you're not).

If she doesn't leave the voicemails/texts, then she was probably out the door anyway.

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DavidYurman85

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by DavidYurman85 » Tue May 18, 2010 1:30 pm

What kind of "bestfriend" breaks up with a person right before such a huge, game-changing test like the LSAT? Chew on that and dominate the LSAT!

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romothesavior

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by romothesavior » Tue May 18, 2010 1:31 pm

HBK wrote:Either she's already out the door or this is a power struggle.

If it's a power struggle, here's how you win:

Leave, don't talk to her, don't return her calls. If, after three days to a week, she has left you more than a message (text or voice) a day, call her back. Her messages will be along the lines of "I hope you're okay, I've been thinking about you, we need to talk, or I'm sorry."

If it's a power struggle, there will be an air of desperation in her voice. Don't feel bad. Enjoy it, and let her dangle. When you do reconnect, she'll ask why you didn't return her calls tell her "I was busy. You said you wanted space." and leave it at that. In effect, she asked for time away, then came crawling back. This will set the precedent for the rest of your relationship together.

In almost every relationship, there's a party who loves more and a party who loves less. You need to make her think you're the one who loves less (even if you're not).

If she doesn't leave the voicemails/texts, then she was probably out the door anyway.
TITMFCR

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kittenmittons

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by kittenmittons » Tue May 18, 2010 1:31 pm

HBK wrote:Either she's already out the door or this is a power struggle.

If it's a power struggle, here's how you win:

Leave, don't talk to her, don't return her calls. If, after three days to a week, she has left you more than a message (text or voice) a day, call her back. Her messages will be along the lines of "I hope you're okay, I've been thinking about you, we need to talk, or I'm sorry."

If it's a power struggle, there will be an air of desperation in her voice. Don't feel bad. Enjoy it, and let her dangle. When you do reconnect, she'll ask why you didn't return her calls tell her "I was busy. You said you wanted space." and leave it at that. In effect, she asked for time away, then came crawling back. This will set the precedent for the rest of your relationship together.

In almost every relationship, there's a party who loves more and a party who loves less. You need to make her think you're the one who loves less (even if you're not).

If she doesn't leave the voicemails/texts, then she was probably out the door anyway.
Credited advice for getting her back. But there is a hotter, younger version of her out there anyway, so move on.

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by jr8966 » Tue May 18, 2010 1:34 pm

She was going to wait until after the LSAT, but I manned up and called the situation like I saw it. I felt space would be better than me knowing what road we were going down. I was very stern in asking her to leave and that I would make her leave if she was not serious about working through things.

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by jr8966 » Tue May 18, 2010 1:35 pm

She would not have to pay rent at her friend's house either, and it is closer to her workplace. I left the door open, but she is still trying. I am going to use the LSAT as a way of getting through this, but the initial reaction is still tough.

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by jr8966 » Tue May 18, 2010 1:44 pm

Thanks for everything this is really helping me work through my emotions. TLS is the best!

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by WWAD » Tue May 18, 2010 1:45 pm

jr8966 wrote:She was going to wait until after the LSAT, but I manned up and called the situation like I saw it. I felt space would be better than me knowing what road we were going down. I was very stern in asking her to leave and that I would make her leave if she was not serious about working through things.
If she was serious about working on it it would be while you were still dating, not sleeping on the couch. "I was very stern in asking her to leave" you need to look up the definition of stern. Get the "f" out is stern. Dude, the relationship is the problem right now, STOP thinking about her or the relationship. She is working on it by seeing if she will feel ok by leaving. If she can stay with her friend rent free ask her to stay until June 8th. Meet up after the test and ask her what she learned. Right now you need to be out of the relationship game.

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by puppleberry finn » Tue May 18, 2010 1:46 pm

WWAD wrote:
jr8966 wrote:She was going to wait until after the LSAT, but I manned up and called the situation like I saw it. I felt space would be better than me knowing what road we were going down. I was very stern in asking her to leave and that I would make her leave if she was not serious about working through things.
If she was serious about working on it it would be while you were still dating, not sleeping on the couch. "I was very stern in asking her to leave" you need to look up the definition of stern. Get the "f" out is stern. Dude, the relationship is the problem right now, STOP thinking about her or the relationship. She is working on it by seeing if she will feel ok by leaving. If she can stay with her friend rent free ask her to stay until June 8th. Meet up after the test and ask her what she learned. Right now you need to be out of the relationship game.
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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by IAFG » Tue May 18, 2010 1:47 pm

puppleberry finn wrote:
WWAD wrote:
jr8966 wrote:She was going to wait until after the LSAT, but I manned up and called the situation like I saw it. I felt space would be better than me knowing what road we were going down. I was very stern in asking her to leave and that I would make her leave if she was not serious about working through things.
If she was serious about working on it it would be while you were still dating, not sleeping on the couch. "I was very stern in asking her to leave" you need to look up the definition of stern. Get the "f" out is stern. Dude, the relationship is the problem right now, STOP thinking about her or the relationship. She is working on it by seeing if she will feel ok by leaving. If she can stay with her friend rent free ask her to stay until June 8th. Meet up after the test and ask her what she learned. Right now you need to be out of the relationship game.
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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by ze2151 » Tue May 18, 2010 1:47 pm

Kibblesnvick- HUGE +1 to your post, and I can't believe it took 4 pages before someone put up the D.E.N.N.I.S. system!

again, OP- "space" is poor code for "i don't have the guts and common decency to break up with you right now, but i want to." maybe she's waiting to completely cut the cord until after your lease runs up. til then, she'll keep you on the hook for the sake of (what sounds like) a pretty awesome apartment.

dump her. be an absolutely miserable roommate, and win this war of attrition. as many have said, anger plays well on test day. be completely inconsiderate and rude. it will be awesome.

i ran your story by my wife, and before i finished, she cut me off and said "this girl is using him." run your story by 10 women and see what they say.

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by WWAD » Tue May 18, 2010 1:49 pm

ze2151 wrote:Kibblesnvick- HUGE +1 to your post, and I can't believe it took 4 pages before someone put up the D.E.N.N.I.S. system!

again, OP- "space" is poor code for "i don't have the guts and common decency to break up with you right now, but i want to." maybe she's waiting to completely cut the cord until after your lease runs up. til then, she'll keep you on the hook for the sake of (what sounds like) a pretty awesome apartment.

dump her. be an absolutely miserable roommate, and win this war of attrition. as many have said, anger plays well on test day. be completely inconsiderate and rude. it will be awesome.

i ran your story by my wife, and before i finished, she cut me off and said "this girl is using him." run your story by 10 women and see what they say.
I am so mad that I read it and even saw the DENNIS, but missed the reference. Now I want to watch the last season.

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puppleberry finn

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by puppleberry finn » Tue May 18, 2010 1:53 pm

ze2151 wrote: dump her. be an absolutely miserable roommate, and win this war of attrition. as many have said, anger plays well on test day. be completely inconsiderate and rude. it will be awesome.
war of attrition right before the LSAT is a bad choice. it's distracting to studying. tell her to leave, ignore her, push all thoughts of that drama out of your mind for three weeks.

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by kittenmittons » Tue May 18, 2010 1:54 pm

puppleberry finn wrote:
ze2151 wrote: dump her. be an absolutely miserable roommate, and win this war of attrition. as many have said, anger plays well on test day. be completely inconsiderate and rude. it will be awesome.
war of attrition right before the LSAT is a bad choice. it's distracting to studying. tell her to leave, ignore her, push all thoughts of that drama out of your mind for three weeks.
Exactly, use the LSAT as a chance to get your mind off of her.

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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by puppleberry finn » Tue May 18, 2010 1:54 pm

kittenmittons wrote:
puppleberry finn wrote:
ze2151 wrote: dump her. be an absolutely miserable roommate, and win this war of attrition. as many have said, anger plays well on test day. be completely inconsiderate and rude. it will be awesome.
war of attrition right before the LSAT is a bad choice. it's distracting to studying. tell her to leave, ignore her, push all thoughts of that drama out of your mind for three weeks.
Exactly, use the LSAT as a chance to get your mind off of her.
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Re: Coping with breakup right before LSAT

Post by WWAD » Tue May 18, 2010 2:03 pm

Also, the worst thing you could do now is start a "dialog" based on our advice. Just do it. Ask her to stay with her friend and then study outside the appt anyway, so if she "happens to drop by" you wont be there.

Seriously? What are you waiting for?

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