How do you know your date with a pilot is halfway over?
When the pilot says, "enough about me, let's talk about aircraft"
Also:
A union pilot is on layover and decides to visit a whorehouse
He goes to the first one and asks "Is this a union shop?" The madame replies that it is not. He asks "Well, how much do the girls get vs. how much does the shop get?" The madame replies "80 percent for the shop, 20 percent for the girls". He decides this is unacceptable and moves on.
He goes to a second shop and asks the same. He finds that it isn't a union shop and that the shop gets 60% and the girls get 40%. Dissatisfied, he heads to the third house.
He asks if it is a union shop and is surprised to find that it is. He asks how much the shop gets, and the madame tells him that the shop gets 30% and the girls get 70%. Pleased, he picks out a young blonde and says "I'd like her, then". The madame says that she is sorry, but this is not possible. The pilot asks why. The madame points to an older woman standing in the corner. "Well, Gladys there has seniority".
ETA: That's awesome, Findley. My father was an air force pilot. Would have liked to become one myself, but my ears are fucked.