To stay or not to stay in this relationship

(Please Ask Questions and Answer Questions)

Should I stay in this relationship?

Break-up!
152
93%
Stay in the relationship and make it work you douche!
11
7%
 
Total votes: 163

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dresden doll
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby dresden doll » Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:50 pm

GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:Though the OP needs to man up and end it, I don't think that he's being superficial to a point that its LOL worthy. The first thing I care about in a guy is looks. My best friend is a man who absolutely adores me, supports me, and is always there for me when I need him, but I would never consider dating him just because I'm not physically attracted to him AT ALL. If you have to force the attraction, there simply is none.

I'm sorry but if I was with a guy who used to hit the gym and was all buff and sexy when we started fucking, but then got too comfortable and became fat while I was still in shape, I would lose interest. If I'm working out trying to look good for you, I expect you to at least try to do the same for me. Reciprocity matters. Besides, I would want my man to still look at me and find me sexually desirable. If I know I'm out of shape but my man is hanging out with his boys in bars/clubs amongst gorgeous girls (admittedly this isn't the case of the OP), that's when the seeds of jealousy and insecurity start to set in.

Looks aren't everything, but I'm honest enough to admit that it matters a hell of a lot to me. In this regard, the only difference between me and the OP is that I would (and did) have the balls to admit I wasn't happy and leave.


OP deserves mockery for reasons having nothing to do with his focus on her looks.

Total Litigator
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby Total Litigator » Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:51 pm

ITT girls are getting pissed and irrational. I would put $40.00 that every "no" vote is a girl.

Total Litigator
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby Total Litigator » Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:52 pm

splitmuch wrote:
tobeornottobe wrote:2. When I first met my girlfriend, I saw her with make-up on and thought she was very attractive. During all our dates, she wore make up. The first time I saw her without make-up was when we actually became a legitimate couple. The difference between her with make-up and without make-up is like night and day. I was shocked, but decided that I love her, so I stuck with the relationship.


Anyone else read this as she made OP agree to be a "couple" in order to bang?


Hahahahahahahahaha. Underrated post.

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JaLeCa
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby JaLeCa » Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:52 pm

.
Last edited by JaLeCa on Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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dresden doll
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby dresden doll » Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:53 pm

Total Litigator wrote:ITT girls are getting pissed and irrational. I would put $40.00 that every "no" vote is a girl.


Yeah, it's clearly completely irrational to think that OP should break up with a girl he has palpable disdain for.

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20121109
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby 20121109 » Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:55 pm

dresden doll wrote:
GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:Though the OP needs to man up and end it, I don't think that he's being superficial to a point that its LOL worthy. The first thing I care about in a guy is looks. My best friend is a man who absolutely adores me, supports me, and is always there for me when I need him, but I would never consider dating him just because I'm not physically attracted to him AT ALL. If you have to force the attraction, there simply is none.

I'm sorry but if I was with a guy who used to hit the gym and was all buff and sexy when we started fucking, but then got too comfortable and became fat while I was still in shape, I would lose interest. If I'm working out trying to look good for you, I expect you to at least try to do the same for me. Reciprocity matters. Besides, I would want my man to still look at me and find me sexually desirable. If I know I'm out of shape but my man is hanging out with his boys in bars/clubs amongst gorgeous girls (admittedly this isn't the case of the OP), that's when the seeds of jealousy and insecurity start to set in.

Looks aren't everything, but I'm honest enough to admit that it matters a hell of a lot to me. In this regard, the only difference between me and the OP is that I would (and did) have the balls to admit I wasn't happy and leave.


OP deserves mockery for reasons having nothing to do with his focus on her looks.


I see that. There are clearly red flags about his behavior that are lulzy...but I just feel that his focus on looks isn't really one of them.

Total Litigator
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby Total Litigator » Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:58 pm

Edit:

dresden doll wrote:
Total Litigator wrote:ITT girls are getting pissed and irrational. I would put $40.00 that every "Stay in the relationship and make it work you douche" vote is a girl.


Yeah, it's clearly completely irrational to think that OP should break up with a girl he has palpable disdain for.


(Apparently "no" wasn't clear enough...)

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quixotical
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby quixotical » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:23 pm

Total Litigator wrote:ITT girls are getting pissed and irrational. I would put $40.00 that every "no" vote is a girl.


Why do you assume girls would vote for this idiot to stay in a relationship with a woman he clearly has no respsect for nor any genuine interest in? I can't tell if you're harboring misogynistic tendencies or are just an imbecile (not that the two are mutually exclusive, of course).

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tyro
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby tyro » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:29 pm

Total Litigator wrote:ITT girls are getting pissed and irrational. I would put $40.00 that every "no" vote is a girl.


You just lost $40

splitmuch
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby splitmuch » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:32 pm

Total Litigator wrote:
splitmuch wrote:
tobeornottobe wrote:2. When I first met my girlfriend, I saw her with make-up on and thought she was very attractive. During all our dates, she wore make up. The first time I saw her without make-up was when we actually became a legitimate couple. The difference between her with make-up and without make-up is like night and day. I was shocked, but decided that I love her, so I stuck with the relationship.


Anyone else read this as she made OP agree to be a "couple" in order to bang?


Hahahahahahahahaha. Underrated post.


And from the rest of the thread I think my theory makes even more sense. He doesn't really like her but is in the relationship for the "convenience" of having a girlfriend.

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AreJay711
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby AreJay711 » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:35 pm

splitmuch wrote:
Total Litigator wrote:
splitmuch wrote:
tobeornottobe wrote:2. When I first met my girlfriend, I saw her with make-up on and thought she was very attractive. During all our dates, she wore make up. The first time I saw her without make-up was when we actually became a legitimate couple. The difference between her with make-up and without make-up is like night and day. I was shocked, but decided that I love her, so I stuck with the relationship.


Anyone else read this as she made OP agree to be a "couple" in order to bang?


Hahahahahahahahaha. Underrated post.


And from the rest of the thread I think my theory makes even more sense. He doesn't really like her but is in the relationship for the "convenience" of having a girlfriend.

TBF --and I'm not saying this is right -- but a lot of people are. Maybe he still deserves disdain for that but I think lots of people have that happen to them at some point. The inertia of the relationship keep you going after you no longer want to be in it. That said, OP should sack up.

sidhesadie
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby sidhesadie » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:35 pm

GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:
Looks aren't everything, but I'm honest enough to admit that it matters a hell of a lot to me. In this regard, the only difference between me and the OP is that I would (and did) have the balls to admit I wasn't happy and leave.



But that difference is the important part.

As I said, I take no issue with the OP not wanting to be with someone who, for whatever reasons, he is no longer attracted to. I have problems with someone keeping that person they aren't attracted to around for safety, backup, until they find someone better, because it makes their life easier, etc etc.
I don't date people I don't find attractive, I don't think *most* people do, the problem with the OP is that he IS doing that, not that he's contemplating stopping. The stopping would be the mature and non-lulzy part.

bmore
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby bmore » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:37 pm

Let me clarify. Break up with her. Disinfect her. Wash her up. Fold her up. Put her back in the box from Sam's Toys and Videos. Revisit in 3 years.


splitmuch
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby splitmuch » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:41 pm

AreJay711 wrote:TBF --and I'm not saying this is right -- but a lot of people are. Maybe he still deserves disdain for that but I think lots of people have that happen to them at some point. The inertia of the relationship keep you going after you no longer want to be in it. That said, OP should sack up.


Completely agree, I was only commenting on it in regards to my point about her not giving it up until they were "official."

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dresden doll
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby dresden doll » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:43 pm

sidhesadie wrote:
GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:
Looks aren't everything, but I'm honest enough to admit that it matters a hell of a lot to me. In this regard, the only difference between me and the OP is that I would (and did) have the balls to admit I wasn't happy and leave.



But that difference is the important part.

As I said, I take no issue with the OP not wanting to be with someone who, for whatever reasons, he is no longer attracted to. I have problems with someone keeping that person they aren't attracted to around for safety, backup, until they find someone better, because it makes their life easier, etc etc.


You forgot the part where they make internet threads to validate themselves by letting everyone know that they're much hotter than their girlfriend.

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albusdumbledore
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby albusdumbledore » Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:46 pm

I vote you string her along until she breaks up with you. That way, you can continue your disinterest in the relationship and then never have to do the dirty work of breaking up with her.

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skw
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby skw » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:07 pm

Here's my take: OP sounds like a guy about to start a new and demanding phase of his life. If his girlfriend is not interested in working out, this will not change with time. It (like most less than desirable traits in a SO) will only be more pronounced with time. Also consider that a young woman who moves to law school with her boyfriend WILL expect a ring and a date before the 3 year experience is over and likely before OP will be ready to make that kind of commitment to anyone (much less a girl who is mostly convenient and who he is not seriously attracted to). There is nothing wrong with OP breaking up with this girl to free himself up to concentrate on law school and all its associated experiences. In fact, this will most likely save both of them a lot of aggravation and heartache.

And before anyone accuses me of being a heartless guy, let me note for the record that I am 33, female, and happily married for 6 years.

tobeornottobe
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby tobeornottobe » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:10 pm

Came back for one last update. I have decided to end it. It's better that I do it now than after a semester or year of law school when things could get much worse if she moves with me. One last question since I am deciding between a few law schools. Where are the girls hotter? Washington or Northern California?

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JaLeCa
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby JaLeCa » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:12 pm

tobeornottobe wrote:Came back for one last update. I have decided to end it. It's better that I do it now than after a semester or year of law school when things could get much worse if she moves with me. One last question since I am deciding between a few law schools. Where are the girls hotter? Washington or Northern California?



Chlamydiaville, CA

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fatduck
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby fatduck » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:12 pm

tobeornottobe wrote:Came back for one last update. I have decided to end it. It's better that I do it now than after a semester or year of law school when things could get much worse if she moves with me. One last question since I am deciding between a few law schools. Where are the girls hotter? Washington or Northern California?

i'll credit you with one brilliant decision: not making this thread with your real account.

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dresden doll
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby dresden doll » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:13 pm

skw wrote:And before anyone accuses me of being a heartless guy, let me note for the record that I am 33, female, and happily married for 6 years.


Not really sure why anyone would accuse you of that since you haven't exactly disagreed with the general tenor of this thread.
Last edited by dresden doll on Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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albusdumbledore
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby albusdumbledore » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:15 pm

fatduck wrote:
tobeornottobe wrote:Came back for one last update. I have decided to end it. It's better that I do it now than after a semester or year of law school when things could get much worse if she moves with me. One last question since I am deciding between a few law schools. Where are the girls hotter? Washington or Northern California?

i'll credit you with one brilliant decision: not making this thread with your real account.


And not being a real person. TROLLOLOLOLOL

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langdonbadger
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby langdonbadger » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:18 pm

Honestly, the worst outcome would probably be you move wherever with her and then break up. I'd highly recommend not doing that.

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rayiner
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Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship

Postby rayiner » Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:23 pm

tobeornottobe wrote:I do need new fucking friends as well. Lesson from this relationship seems to be not to date within friend circle. Okay, I am not Brad Pitt, but I would give myself a 7 or 8/10 on looks. Let's put it this way, many more attractive girls than my girlfriend have told me they wished I were single.
The thing is I do care about my girlfriend, but I cannot look beyond this "looks" thing for now. Also, guys be wary of girls with a ton of make-up. Before deciding to be in a relationship, have the girl wash her face for you. I feel like there are a lot more girls like my girl-friend who look like a dime with make-up, but end up looking like Kelly Osbourne without make-up. Where are all the girls with natural beauty?!!?


Those girls are telling you they wish you're single because there is no danger of you actually trying to date them.

Also, what kind of guy can't see through makeup? Bone structure dude bone structure.




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