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To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:44 pm
by tobeornottobe
Okay, I know this is pathetic that I am asking on this forum, but I cannot ask any of my friends because they are mutual friends of my girlfriend as well. Here is what you need to know. I will be starting law school this fall. I have been with my current girlfriend for about 3 years, but I am starting to feel like this relationship might not work. I will make a few points and you guys can let me know if I should break it off or not.
1. She is a bit needy and wants to move with me to law school. I initially liked the idea, but I am starting to realize that this might stop me from creating as big of a social network as I want to make in law school.
2. When I first met my girlfriend, I saw her with make-up on and thought she was very attractive. During all our dates, she wore make up. The first time I saw her without make-up was when we actually became a legitimate couple. The difference between her with make-up and without make-up is like night and day. I was shocked, but decided that I love her, so I stuck with the relationship.
3. I love working out and like playing sports. My girlfriend does not! I thought I could remedy this, but it doesn't seem to be working. She has gained weight and does not seem to want to lose it. I, on the other hand, am in pretty good shape and workout a lot.
4. As much as I hate it, I keep picturing myself dating more attractive girls. I keep wondering all the good stuff that I am missing out on. I am pretty sure I can do a lot better, but I have got so used to this damn relationship. I feel like, I wouldn't know how to go about without her.
What the hell should I do? Stay or break up before law school?
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:48 pm
by Bill Cosby
Dump her. You don't care about her, so why string her along?
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:48 pm
by Modus Ponens
Bill Cosby wrote:Dump her. You don't care about her, so why string her along?
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:50 pm
by kaiser
People will obviously chime in and call you superficial, but that won't answer your question. If you honestly aren't attracted to the girl, then why force yourself to stay with her? A relationship isn't solely about emotional connection. I think it would be very hasty of her to move with you to law school and hinder your ability to really grow and develop as a person while forming a new group of contacts, friends, etc. Perhaps you can give the "long distance" thing a try. That way, things will likely fizzle out on their own without any need for you to play the bad guy. You don't sound like you care all that much about this girl, and that is fine. You shouldn't feel guilty about it.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:50 pm
by Master_Splinter
This could become a very interesting thread.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:52 pm
by bjsesq
If you have to ask, leave. Also: you clearly don't give a shit about her.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:52 pm
by IAFG
tobeornottobe wrote: I keep picturing myself dating more attractive girls.
I bet they aren't.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:52 pm
by paratactical
Do not let a girl move with you when you have such doubts. If she will move as long as you are together, dump her.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:52 pm
by Thirteen
Modus Ponens wrote:Bill Cosby wrote:Dump her. You don't care about her, so why string her along?
This.
Also, pics to prove your attractiveness.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:53 pm
by swimmer33
you said she's needy... and you're going to be really busy your 1L year. if you think she'll be nagging you to hang out during your few spare hours a week, rather than relaxing or networking... it may be more stress than necessary.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:53 pm
by 99.9luft
Modus Ponens wrote:Bill Cosby wrote:Dump her. You don't care about her, so why string her along?
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:54 pm
by kaiser
Thirteen wrote:Modus Ponens wrote:Bill Cosby wrote:Dump her. You don't care about her, so why string her along?
This.
Also, pics to prove your attractiveness.
This is all relative, keep in mind. The gf could just be a real stinker in the looks department. A 3 beats a 2, but being a 3 isn't all that great
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:54 pm
by El_Gallo
I love that this is your first post on TLS
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:55 pm
by fatduck
tls really needs a Loveline thread. i'll volunteer for the role of Adam Duckrolla. any addiction medicine specialists in the house?
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:55 pm
by paratactical
fatduck wrote:tls really needs a Loveline thread. i'll volunteer for the role of Adam Duckrolla. any addiction medicine specialists in the house?
OHOOOOH PICK ME!
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:55 pm
by Thirteen
tobeornottobe wrote:Okay, I know this is pathetic that I am asking on this forum, but I cannot ask any of my friends because they are mutual friends of my girlfriend as well.
You can't think of one person that would give you advice without selling you out? In addition to dumping your girl, find new friends.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:55 pm
by Rooney
Dump her, if only so the relationship doesn't interfere with law school.
Also, all the other reasons.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:56 pm
by dink3500
Give her the boat, you will definitely find better and she's definitely on a downward sloop. Live and learn
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:56 pm
by Zugzwang
pump her rump, then dump
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:07 pm
by loomstate
If you stay w/ her make sure to grab her fat during sex. After a while she'll want to lose it...if she doesn't want to lose it after grabbing, dump her pillsbury ass
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:10 pm
by tobeornottobe
I do need new fucking friends as well. Lesson from this relationship seems to be not to date within friend circle. Okay, I am not Brad Pitt, but I would give myself a 7 or 8/10 on looks. Let's put it this way, many more attractive girls than my girlfriend have told me they wished I were single.
The thing is I do care about my girlfriend, but I cannot look beyond this "looks" thing for now. Also, guys be wary of girls with a ton of make-up. Before deciding to be in a relationship, have the girl wash her face for you. I feel like there are a lot more girls like my girl-friend who look like a dime with make-up, but end up looking like Kelly Osbourne without make-up. Where are all the girls with natural beauty?!!?
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:12 pm
by loomstate
tobeornottobe wrote: Before deciding to be in a relationship, have the girl wash her face for you.
Dammit, I was hoping this wasn't a flame
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:14 pm
by Thirteen
tobeornottobe wrote:I do need new fucking friends as well. Lesson from this relationship seems to be not to date within friend circle. Okay, I am not Brad Pitt, but I would give myself a 7 or 8/10 on looks. Let's put it this way, many more attractive girls than my girlfriend have told me they wished I were single.
The thing is I do care about my girlfriend, but I cannot look beyond this "looks" thing for now. Also, guys be wary of girls with a ton of make-up. Before deciding to be in a relationship, have the girl wash her face for you. I feel like there are a lot more girls like my girl-friend who look like a dime with make-up, but end up looking like Kelly Osbourne without make-up. Where are all the girls with natural beauty?!!?
They're in law school.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:15 pm
by AreJay711
I see virtually no reason to stay with that girl. I also think dumping a girl that gains weight is perfectly acceptable. What is she in her mid-20's? Imagine her in her mid 40's
I'd be very clear why you broke up with her she starts working out and the world will have one fewer fat chick.
Re: To stay or not to stay in this relationship
Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:15 pm
by tobeornottobe
Why does that sentence make it a flame? It is the truth. If you care anything about looks, you should see the girl without make-up first. The making her wash her face is an exaggeration, but something to that extent needs to be done. I wish I could say this in real life without looking like an utter asshole.