kwais wrote:Gideon Strumpet wrote:yeahyeah2121 wrote:If she doesn't have a ring on her finger, and she's 22/23 she should just forget about her relationship?
No. The point is, do not make decisions that revolve around another person unless you and that person have made an actual commitment to each other, and thus a commitment to live together with the outcome of those decisions. You should date who you want, when you want, how you want. Everyone does anyway, so contrary advice is just naive.
When people ask things like, "Should I go to law school A because that's where I want to be, or law school B, because that's where my boyfriend will be," I see them as setting up for upset and frustration down the line. My advice is do not make that decision on that basis. Make the choice of which school to attend for yourself, because you're the one who has to live with it. If you can make things work in the relationship AFTER you have made the right decision for you, then fine, have fun and enjoy it. Just don't let someone else drive your choices until he or she has made an actual commitment to see those choices through.
If you're married, then you both have agreed to live together with the consequences of all decisions that each of you make. For married people, my advice is make absolutely certain that you are BOTH happy with any choice of school you make--and with the basic choice to go at all--because otherwise it's going to be a loooooong three years, and getting divorced in the middle of it is NOT the credited way to learn family law. Both people should have a hard, realistic understanding of what different choices mean for the long run, and both must be happy living with the outcome.
So a piece of paper and a ceremony are the only way to signify an "actual commitment?" Hmmm
Obviously! It's not like half of the marriages in the US end in divorce or anything.
I have a friend who has been dating his girlfriend since high school - they are currently in the long-distance long-haul for 5 years while he finishes up a PhD across the country. They are still very much in love with each other and are in no hurry to get married (it's been 7 years and there's no "ring on it") even though it's very obvious to both of them that they will eventually get married.
OP, I think it comes down whether you guys are on the same page about what you want and how you can accommodate each other's needs. You will likely change during law school - and if you change together you don't necessarily need to grow apart. Your relationship will definitely be tested but in the end no one but the two of you can determine whether it will survive.
Edited for missing words/inability to type correctly.