Religion and Moving in with Girlfriend Forum

[paratactical]

1. If you do plan on spending your life with this girl it is a bad idea to ever willfully be on bad terms with her family.

2. If you plan on spending your life with this girl...why not marry her? Start life...build it together, that'd be a very satisfying (albeit arduous and sometimes difficult) experience.

3. IN MY OPINION It is terribly disrespectful to your gf to have her move in without you two getting married first. (Yes, even if she is down with the idea.) You may love each other and be headed in that direction, but, without a marital commitment IT IS MY OPINION you are selfishly using each other for sex/whatever other benefits you get without the fortitude to live up to any real commitment to each other.

OK you hippies out there...here's your open invitation to go ahead and crucify me for my traditional views.

1. I'm no fucking hippie.

2. YOUR OPINIONS are fucking whack.

[northwood]

1. If you do plan on spending your life with this girl it is a bad idea to ever willfully be on bad terms with her family.

2. If you plan on spending your life with this girl...why not marry her? Start life...build it together, that'd be a very satisfying (albeit arduous and sometimes difficult) experience.

3. IN MY OPINION It is terribly disrespectful to your gf to have her move in without you two getting married first. (Yes, even if she is down with the idea.) You may love each other and be headed in that direction, but, without a marital commitment IT IS MY OPINION you are selfishly using each other for sex/whatever other benefits you get without the fortitude to live up to any real commitment to each other.

OK you hippies out there...here's your open invitation to go ahead and crucify me for my traditional views.

actually- the more i think about it- the more i would say to get your own place. The stress of moving in will make it rough and you will need some more space

[Magnolia]

i dont think you want to the be person who is responsible for your girlfriend to stand up to her parents. You may be resented by her when it goes bad, and it will always be a sore subject between you.

To put it in perspective: Its always fun to be the boyfriend of a girl who smokes pot( assuming of course you smoke). However, if you are the boyfriend who introduces her to pot- then the relationship will be always about getting high. She will see you not as a boyfriend who happends to enjoy a hobby that she indulges in, but as a source for pot. I can see this scenario as playing out similrar to this- except you dont get the munchies or high.

This depends on the girl. I distanced myself from my parents at the encouragement of my then-SO, and it was one of the best things I ever did. I never harbored any resentment. In fact, in the times when it was the hardest, I was grateful to have someone there to remind me of why I was doing it and what I was gaining. I probably wouldn't have been able to go through with it on my own.

OTOH, there are girls will who be angry and resentful forever. I hope OP knows which kind of girl he's dating.

That is the deciding factor. Hopefully OP knows ( or has a good idea)

Not looking good considering that he's looking to a pre-law board for relationship advice.

I always wonder why people turn to TLS for romantic advice. Lawyers don't exactly have the best track record for successful relationships.

[paratactical]

I always wonder why people turn to TLS for romantic advice. Lawyers don't exactly have the best track record for successful relationships.

Neither do the religious.

[northwood]

marriage is a business deal

[Moral_Midgetry]

TL;DR

Standard response to these type threads is to ditch the chick. Pretty sure it holds here too.

[Magnolia]

I always wonder why people turn to TLS for romantic advice. Lawyers don't exactly have the best track record for successful relationships.

Neither do the religious.

Truth.

[teleste]

Oh my.

[paratactical]

I always wonder why people turn to TLS for romantic advice. Lawyers don't exactly have the best track record for successful relationships.

Neither do the religious.

Truth.

My favorite is when they call me a dirty hippie or make comments about how wrong it is to live with someone outside of marriage. It always makes me wonder how long they've been happily married.

[paratactical]

Awesome rebuttal. I'd love to face off with you in court one day.

So how long have you been happily married?

[Stringer Bell]

LOL at #3. I repeat: moving in together should be a requirement before marriage. Newsflash: other then legalities and tax status, marriage should ideally not change the relationship whatsoever once it's done.

Marriage does up the stakes on a commitment. I do agree that living together before being married is important.

I was almost engaged several years ago and it fell apart once we moved in together. Finding that out before getting married was valuable. I'm engaged now and felt much better about making that commitment once my girl and I lived together for awhile.

[Sinra]

LOL at #3. I repeat: moving in together should be a requirement before marriage. Newsflash: other then legalities and tax status, marriage should ideally not change the relationship whatsoever once it's done.

Marriage does up the stakes on a commitment.

I disagree. Other than the financial situation (and even that doesn't really have to change necessarily after marriage) and the legality of it...your commitment level should not hinge on whether or not you signed a marriage certificate.

[esq]

I always wonder why people turn to TLS for romantic advice. Lawyers don't exactly have the best track record for successful relationships.

Neither do the religious.

+1, But often the do have the guise - though they are most often miserable together, frenemies "for eternity" (like my parents).

[teleste]

Oh my.

[paratactical]

PS-What do YOU have against marriage?

I have nothing against marriage. I have everything against religious idealists advocating that people make commitments before they are prepared and informed in the name of some anitquated sensibility.

[BackToTheOldHouse]

PS-What do YOU have against marriage?

I have nothing against marriage. I have everything against religious idealists advocating that people make commitments before they are prepared and informed in the name of some anitquated sensibility.

Yea, people should live together for at least 20 years before deciding to get married. For that matter, they should probably have a few kids as well, you know, to see if it is going to work. Wouldn't want anyone making an uninformed decision based on some antiquated sensibility . . . progress is so cool.

[delusional]

Awesome rebuttal. I'd love to face off with you in court one day.

So how long have you been happily married?

Eight years this February. When you're finished giving TLS e-BJs, send me a PM and I'll give you some advice.

[paratactical]

PS-What do YOU have against marriage?

I have nothing against marriage. I have everything against religious idealists advocating that people make commitments before they are prepared and informed in the name of some anitquated sensibility.

Yea, people should live together for at least 20 years before deciding to get married. For that matter, they should probably have a few kids as well, you know, to see if it is going to work. Wouldn't want anyone making an uninformed decision based on some antiquated sensibility . . . progress is so cool.

Oh yeah. I'm totes all about that.

All I'm saying is that the idea of you have to get married before you live together or before you can understand your relationship is silly.

[Nicholasnickynic]

Living together before marriage can kill the magic in a relationship. I would avoid it if possible.

Moving in with someone should be a requirement before you ever think about getting married.

?? So wait till your married before you kill the magic, because by then your stuck together, so oh well??

[paratactical]

Awesome rebuttal. I'd love to face off with you in court one day.

So how long have you been happily married?

Eight years this February. When your finished giving TLS e-BJs, send me a PM and I'll give you some advice.

I've been living with my SO for 7 years come June. I don't need your advice.

[Stringer Bell]

I disagree. Other than the financial situation (and even that doesn't really have to change necessarily after marriage) and the legality of it...your commitment level should not hinge on whether or not you signed a marriage certificate.

Whether you actually are more or less committed is debatable, but the level of commitment demonstrated definitely does increase quite a bit.

[fatduck]

if someone says "kill the magic" again i am going to kill that person, then the magic, then myself.

[bk1]

To keep on topic...don't move in with each other even if for only the (logical) reason #1 I gave.

Wow. Lil overly sensitive aren't we now? You can think my opinions are 'f**king whack' if you'd like. I have no problem with that...you failed to mention why you think that though. (Thus the sarcastic jab at awesome rebuttal.)

Can't take a little funnin' can you?

Hippie.

PS-What do YOU have against marriage?

So you're saying it makes sense to base your views off of something written by a handful of random people thousands of years ago and the voice in your head that claims to be a higher power?

[BackToTheOldHouse]

PS-What do YOU have against marriage?

I have nothing against marriage. I have everything against religious idealists advocating that people make commitments before they are prepared and informed in the name of some anitquated sensibility.

Yea, people should live together for at least 20 years before deciding to get married. For that matter, they should probably have a few kids as well, you know, to see if it is going to work. Wouldn't want anyone making an uninformed decision based on some antiquated sensibility . . . progress is so cool.

Oh yeah. I'm totes all about that.

All I'm saying is that the idea of you have to live together before getting married before you live together or before you can understand your relationship is silly.

FTFY

[bk1]

1. If you do plan on spending your life with this girl it is a bad idea to ever willfully be on bad terms with her family.

True, but sometimes you have no choice but to piss off stupid people with antiquated views.