Long-term Relationship/Engaged

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Amir N
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Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby Amir N » Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:56 pm

I'm curious how many young people (20's) on this board would consider sacrificing school rankings on behalf of staying close to their significant other whom they could see marrying. More specifically, I'm wondering how many would give up schools like WUSTL, UIUC, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Bloomington at sticker to go to free rides at T3's such as Drake or Louisville. I've seen many threads regarding 30-somethings who are married or engaged or have kids who are clearly making the right choice and sticking by the partner.

The whole reason I'm curious is because my significant other is entering med school at either Louisville or Des Moines at the same time I will be entering law school, and both cities only have T3 schools.

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hipstermafia
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby hipstermafia » Mon Nov 08, 2010 12:58 pm

Amir N wrote:I'm curious how many young people (20's) on this board would consider sacrificing school rankings on behalf of staying close to their significant other whom they could see marrying. More specifically, I'm wondering how many would give up schools like WUSTL, UIUC, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Bloomington at sticker to go to free rides at T3's such as Drake or Louisville. I've seen many threads regarding 30-somethings who are married or engaged or have kids who are clearly making the right choice and sticking by the partner.

The whole reason I'm curious is because my significant other is entering med school at either Louisville or Des Moines at the same time I will be entering law school, and both cities only have T3 schools.

i smell a break up

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4for44
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby 4for44 » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:00 pm

priorities...

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Mike12188
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby Mike12188 » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:01 pm

Make her come with you.

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paratactical
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby paratactical » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:03 pm

1. Skip law school
2. Marry doctor
3. ????
4. Be lazy and PROFIT.

Amir N
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby Amir N » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:05 pm

hipstermafia wrote:
Amir N wrote:I'm curious how many young people (20's) on this board would consider sacrificing school rankings on behalf of staying close to their significant other whom they could see marrying. More specifically, I'm wondering how many would give up schools like WUSTL, UIUC, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Bloomington at sticker to go to free rides at T3's such as Drake or Louisville. I've seen many threads regarding 30-somethings who are married or engaged or have kids who are clearly making the right choice and sticking by the partner.

The whole reason I'm curious is because my significant other is entering med school at either Louisville or Des Moines at the same time I will be entering law school, and both cities only have T3 schools.

i smell a break up


Break-up is unlikely. Even if we go to separate schools, at most we'll be 5 or 6 hours apart.

minuit
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby minuit » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:07 pm

paratactical wrote:1. Skip law school
2. Marry doctor
3. ????
4. Be lazy and PROFIT.


+1

for real, i'd go to a T3 for free if it meant staying with my future (insert good profession here) hubby.

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The Gentleman
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby The Gentleman » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:09 pm

Amir N wrote: free rides at T3's such as Drake o


First of all, don't even consider attending Drake. (google Third Tier Reality to find out why)

Unless you're already married to this person, then you shouldn't make a sacrifice like passing up WUSTL or UIUC for Drake. I'm all for compromise in a relationship, but you would absolutely be getting the short end of this one if you made a decision like that.

Also, why is your SO limited to Louisville/Des Moines? Did they not apply to enough places?

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paratactical
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby paratactical » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:10 pm

The Gentleman wrote:
Amir N wrote: free rides at T3's such as Drake o


First of all, don't even consider attending Drake. (google Third Tier Reality to find out why)

Unless you're already married to this person, then you shouldn't make a sacrifice like passing up WUSTL or UIUC for Drake. I'm all for compromise in a relationship, but you would absolutely be getting the short end of this one if you made a decision like that.

Also, why is your SO limited to Louisville/Des Moines? Did they not apply to enough places?


Doctor from Louisville/Des Moines >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Lawyer from WUSTL

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Lwoods
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby Lwoods » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:11 pm

Amir N wrote:I'm curious how many young people (20's) on this board would consider sacrificing school rankings on behalf of staying close to their significant other whom they could see marrying. More specifically, I'm wondering how many would give up schools like WUSTL, UIUC, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Bloomington at sticker to go to free rides at T3's such as Drake or Louisville. I've seen many threads regarding 30-somethings who are married or engaged or have kids who are clearly making the right choice and sticking by the partner.

The whole reason I'm curious is because my significant other is entering med school at either Louisville or Des Moines at the same time I will be entering law school, and both cities only have T3 schools.


If you already think that's the right choice, why are you asking this question?

Kids you can't really leave. I mean, you could, I suppose, but I wouldn't be able to do so.
A spouse, however... is just one consideration in the marginal analysis. I'm married to a first year ortho resident in a city with a T1 school. It's a decent school, but I think I can do better (and not just higher ranked, but a better fit for me). The question then becomes "at what cost?" I will balance acceptances and (if applicable) any scholarship offers against rankings, job prospects, impressions following visits and proximity to my husband (considering ease of commute as well as distance).
Your JD will be on your resume the rest of your life. You can't really do it again. Don't make a decision you will regret.
I am actually married, and I am very strongly considering living apart from my husband for 4 years (the remainder of his residency). I would strongly advise against making a sacrifice this great for anyone other than your children.
Last edited by Lwoods on Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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BaiAilian2013
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby BaiAilian2013 » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:12 pm

Depends whether free ride at a T3 works with your career goals. I personally would also consider whether there are better schools close enough to permit a medium-distance, we-see-each-other-most-weekends relationship (2-3 hour bus ride, $100 plane ticket, etc.).

Amir N
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby Amir N » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:13 pm

The Gentleman wrote:
Amir N wrote: free rides at T3's such as Drake o


First of all, don't even consider attending Drake. (google Third Tier Reality to find out why)

Unless you're already married to this person, then you shouldn't make a sacrifice like passing up WUSTL or UIUC for Drake. I'm all for compromise in a relationship, but you would absolutely be getting the short end of this one if you made a decision like that.

Also, why is your SO limited to Louisville/Des Moines? Did they not apply to enough places?


SO applied to many DO and MD schools, but those are her only two acceptances thus far.

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Lwoods
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby Lwoods » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:13 pm

Also, I was with my husband all throughout medical school, so I can answer questions related to that lifestyle as well, if you're interested.

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plenipotentiary
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby plenipotentiary » Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:15 pm

Lwoods wrote:I would strongly advise against making a sacrifice this great for anyone other than your children.


+1

Particularly before you're married. I have seen this play out many times: someone (usually a woman) will pass on a great career opportunity for their significant other, only to have the relationship crash and burn shortly thereafter. You know what they say about eggs and baskets.

whymeohgodno
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby whymeohgodno » Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:56 pm

Marry her now and have a child. That way you can get child support payments from a future doctor if you ever break up or if you don't you can leech off of her.

(Don't sign a prenup)

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AreJay711
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby AreJay711 » Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:21 pm

Marry her and get some work experiance in those cities or marry her and do the long distance thing but for Christ's sake grab on to your meal ticket while you have the chance! Only partially kidding.

Amir N
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby Amir N » Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:35 pm

The Gentleman wrote:
Amir N wrote: free rides at T3's such as Drake o


First of all, don't even consider attending Drake. (google Third Tier Reality to find out why)

Unless you're already married to this person, then you shouldn't make a sacrifice like passing up WUSTL or UIUC for Drake. I'm all for compromise in a relationship, but you would absolutely be getting the short end of this one if you made a decision like that.

Also, why is your SO limited to Louisville/Des Moines? Did they not apply to enough places?


Would a free ride at Drake or Louisville be a truly horrible decision if I knew I wanted to stay in the state? Just wondering...

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Lwoods
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby Lwoods » Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:45 pm

Amir N wrote:
The Gentleman wrote:
Amir N wrote: free rides at T3's such as Drake o


First of all, don't even consider attending Drake. (google Third Tier Reality to find out why)

Unless you're already married to this person, then you shouldn't make a sacrifice like passing up WUSTL or UIUC for Drake. I'm all for compromise in a relationship, but you would absolutely be getting the short end of this one if you made a decision like that.

Also, why is your SO limited to Louisville/Des Moines? Did they not apply to enough places?


SO applied to many DO and MD schools, but those are her only two acceptances thus far.


Just as you shouldn't sacrifice law school for her, she shouldn't chose a DO school over an MD school for you (unless she really, truly prefers the osteopathic approach over allopathic) as her earning potential is higher for the latter. Keep applying and look seriously at big cities. She should keep applying (to US MD programs) as well. Ranking doesn't matter as much for MD programs; though top 40 is ideal, matching is heavily based on Step 1 scores and MS3 grades.

I don't blame you for wanting to be close to each other for med school / law school, but there's really no need to chose a T3 over a T25 simply to be in the same city. My husband's medical school is in NYC, and classmates had lawyer / law student SOs who worked or went to school in Boston, Philly and DC. Welcome to the realm of professional studies.

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paratactical
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby paratactical » Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:47 pm

Lwoods wrote:My husband's medical school is in NYC, and classmates had lawyer / law student SOs who worked or went to school in Boston, Philly and DC. Welcome to the realm of professional studies.


The Boston to NYC commute is actually pretty easy and doable. My SO and I did that for a while and it worked out pretty well. Philly - NYC is okay, as is Philly - DC, but they aren't as easy about NYC - Boston, FWIW.

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MysticalWheel
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby MysticalWheel » Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:55 pm

Amir N wrote: I've seen many threads regarding 30-somethings who are married or engaged or have kids who are clearly making the right wrong choice and sticking by the partner.




Fixed it for you. You're welcome.

MW

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im_blue
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby im_blue » Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:45 pm

Amir N wrote:schools like WUSTL, UIUC, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Bloomington at sticker

significant other is entering med school at either Louisville or Des Moines

It's all about priorities, and financially speaking the correct choice is to do what it takes to marry your SO.

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IAFG
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby IAFG » Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:51 pm

i don't get how med/law student couples work since med students don't have much control over their residency placement and JDs are often confined to a few markets that are hiring or hiring at their schools. seems fail-bound.

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stratocophic
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby stratocophic » Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:53 pm

IAFG wrote:i don't get how med/law student couples work since med students don't have much control over their residency placement and JDs are often confined to a few markets that are hiring or hiring at their schools. seems fail-awesomely-stay-at-home-FTW-bound.

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IAFG
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby IAFG » Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:54 pm

stratocophic wrote:
IAFG wrote:i don't get how med/law student couples work since med students don't have much control over their residency placement and JDs are often confined to a few markets that are hiring or hiring at their schools. seems fail-awesomely-stay-at-home-FTW-bound.

it takes forever for MDs to get paid, and family practice docs don't get paid very well even later into their careers. this is NOT the way to gold-dig.

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stratocophic
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Re: Long-term Relationship/Engaged

Postby stratocophic » Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:55 pm

IAFG wrote:
stratocophic wrote:
IAFG wrote:i don't get how med/law student couples work since med students don't have much control over their residency placement and JDs are often confined to a few markets that are hiring or hiring at their schools. seems fail-awesomely-stay-at-home-FTW-bound.

it takes forever for MDs to get paid, and family practice docs don't get paid very well even later into their careers. this is NOT the way to gold-dig.
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