Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

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jarofsoup
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby jarofsoup » Fri Sep 24, 2010 5:40 pm

Your GPA is much higher than his. You are in a different ball park.

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ResolutePear
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby ResolutePear » Fri Sep 24, 2010 5:42 pm

dresden doll wrote:Mature people can handle going to school with one another without either side feeling smothered.


So, what you're saying is.. I should tell my girl to do the night/part-time program? Genius.

disneyprincess
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby disneyprincess » Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:02 pm

Thank you everyone who gave HELPFUL answers, they were really appreciated.

First of all, retaking isn't really an option. We both took prestigious prep courses (different ones too), studied solid for 3 months, and I personally took almost every single practice test out there (aside from maybe three of them). Those scores were the best we could do. Some people just aren't 170 people, and we're okay with that. Also, we really want to go the same year, so going at separate times isn't really an option (although he's thinking about the JD/MBA). I understand this extremely limits our choices, but this is a sacrifice we both knowingly are willing to make.

No, we do not live together, but this probably more for traditional reasons, than as indicative of our relationship. Therefore, we would probably not live together in law school as well. Right now, we are looking at two options. 1) going to the same school (like Wisconsin or Illinois if we both get in) as long as it has a large class so we don't end up in the same section or 2) going to schools like Drexel and Villanova where they're in relatively the same city.....

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IAFG
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby IAFG » Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:08 pm

... wow. do a lot more research about legal hiring, job prospects, etc before going to school. a lot. a lot a lot.

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ResolutePear
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby ResolutePear » Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:13 pm

IAFG wrote:... wow. do a lot more research about legal hiring, job prospects, etc before going to school. a lot. a lot a lot.



HAHAHAHAHAH

*pauses for a couple mins to watch some Anderson Cooper 360*

HHHAHAAAAAAAA JEEZZZ

If only it were possible. If only it were possible.

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NayBoer
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby NayBoer » Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:30 pm

Three comments.

1. If you're worried about being smothered by being around each other too much, should you really be picking a random city to go to school in based solely on each other? Law school is regional, so you are tying yourselves to the market where you go to school.

2. The hiring market sucks, especially at schools outside the top.

3. Law school debt is not dischargeable in bankruptcy.

Taking a year or two off (together) is probably financially the smartest move here.

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buckilaw
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby buckilaw » Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:33 pm

I urge you to seriously consider getting jobs. The schools you have mentioned present a enormous gamble; you'll likely spend 3 years and quite a bit of money, but will need to be in the top 10% of your class to find a job. Imagine if you did go to the same school and one of you lands a job and the other does not. That seems like a fast way to kill a relationship.

Hoopster
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby Hoopster » Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:29 pm

NayBoer wrote:Three comments.

1. If you're worried about being smothered by being around each other too much, should you really be picking a random city to go to school in based solely on each other? Law school is regional, so you are tying yourselves to the market where you go to school.

2. The hiring market sucks, especially at schools outside the top.

3. Law school debt is not dischargeable in bankruptcy.

Taking a year or two off (together) is probably financially the smartest move here.


This.

The only way this could work is if the couple both attends YLS, for example. I know a couple or two at YLS who don't ever have to worry about jobs and LS debt, that's for sure.

Otherwise, you're better off as a couple with those numbers to get jobs and save some money before heading to LS. It's brutal outside of t10.

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paratactical
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby paratactical » Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:32 pm

Hoopster wrote:
NayBoer wrote:Three comments.

1. If you're worried about being smothered by being around each other too much, should you really be picking a random city to go to school in based solely on each other? Law school is regional, so you are tying yourselves to the market where you go to school.

2. The hiring market sucks, especially at schools outside the top.

3. Law school debt is not dischargeable in bankruptcy.

Taking a year or two off (together) is probably financially the smartest move here.


This.

The only way this could work is if the couple both attends YLS, for example. I know a couple or two at YLS who don't ever have to worry about jobs and LS debt, that's for sure.

Otherwise, you're better off as a couple with those numbers to get jobs and save some money before heading to LS. It's brutal outside of t10.


+1

I wonder what username disneyprincess will end up using at JDU.

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IAFG
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby IAFG » Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:51 pm

still loling... eh illinois or drexel... whichever keeps me close to the bf

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mindybluehammer
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby mindybluehammer » Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:37 pm

Are there really people of the opinion that if you aren't at a 170+ then you shouldn't bother going to ls?

What percentile is 170? like 95

Also: those advising breaking up because of concern over 'smothering' may not have been in a long term serious relationship...I would blindly wager. When you are with someone for years...it can be a boon to get some quality alone time and I will invoke the cliche: absence makes the heart grow stronger. (in moderation ofc) Proves true in my experience anyhow! Good luck in LS hope it works out
Last edited by mindybluehammer on Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dcgbm
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby dcgbm » Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:55 pm

97. some of you should lay off the poor girl. yeah apparently hiring is tough, but i'm sure she and a LOT of the applicants who don't have top notch numbers know that.

personally I say both of you should just go through the application process, then take the best option (highest ranked law school or lower ranked with big enough scholarship to sway you) WITHOUT factoring him in. If you guys end up near each other, great, if you end up at the same school, just don't live together and make an effort to branch out, and if you end up far away, resume your relationship long distance. whether you end up getting married or break up or something in between i think both or at least one of you will regret not having taken the best option possible, if you didn't because of the relationship.

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let/them/eat/cake
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby let/them/eat/cake » Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:03 pm

mindybluehammer wrote:Are there really people of the opinion that if you aren't at a 170+ then you shouldn't bother going to ls?

What percentile is 170? like 95


It's more than 95%, but let's just say for sake of argument, the top 5% of folks who take the LSAT should go to law school is the argument. 5% of the amount of people who take the LSAT in a given year (approx. 145k people?) is about, what, approximately 7-8k jobs or so, depending on amout of people. That sounds about right to me.

That of course presumes perfect correlation between LSAT score and LS/job search success, which of course isn't the case, but looking prospectively going into law school, you should just assume it is, instead of just hoping to be an anomaly.

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ResolutePear
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby ResolutePear » Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:52 pm

WHY. WON'T. THIS. THREAD. DIE. AHHH!

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Lawl Shcool
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby Lawl Shcool » Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:57 pm

FWIW I think the idea of same city but diff school is really clever and a good idea.

savagecheater
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby savagecheater » Thu Oct 07, 2010 10:19 pm

IAFG wrote:
dresden doll wrote:Mature people can handle going to school with one another without either side feeling smothered.

yup.

that said law school is a bad idea for both of you with those numbers. get jobs.


WE HAVE A WINNER HERE FOLKS

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reasonable_man
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby reasonable_man » Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:11 am

Not sure if anyone has said it... But I gotta be honest... I'd rather chew glass than even imagine dating a lawyer/lawstudent.. What a gross idea.

Break up now and save yourself the trouble down the line.

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ResolutePear
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby ResolutePear » Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:27 am

reasonable_man wrote:Not sure if anyone has said it... But I gotta be honest... I'd rather chew glass than even imagine dating a lawyer/lawstudent.. What a gross idea.

Break up now and save yourself the trouble down the line.


Yeah, find a MD/Med Student... at least then you'll be secure.

nStiver
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby nStiver » Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:37 am

disneyprincess wrote:I would love some insight, especially from students that are already IN law school as I feel they would have a more realistic perspective.

My boyfriend and I met in undergrad, pretty close to the beginning of freshman year. I know most people don't stay together through undergrad (which everyone would tell me) but I turn around and we're both in our senior year and still very much together. We both want to apply to law school and have been looking at law schools lately.

The thing is, we BOTH do not want to do the long distance relationship thing. I know that after I post this, several people will reply, "just breakup, law school relationships don't work out". But I'm a big believer in perspective, and eventually, law school will be over, and then.... We're really happy together and at the end of the day and are serious about staying together. While we aren't living together (it's more of a personal preference) marriage is definitely something we've talked about, although realistically won't even be thinkable until after law school is over.

My perfect senario would be the same city, but different schools. That way, it's easier to make friends, not be smothered by each other, etc. Also, I want to be smart about this, and if we do end up by chance breaking up (although I'm not counting on it) I don't want our education to be compromised by one of us possibly tranferring out afterwards. The issue is, we have pretty similar stats, and there's not many cities where two schools exist within an hour of each other that are of the same caliber. I have a 162/3.32, and he has a 163/2.83 . He would like to go the same school however, and honestly, if we did, we could both get into a better school this way.

What do you think? Is it possible to go to the same schools and still make friends, etc? Or should we really shoot for same city/ different schools? Like Philly, NorCal, Chicago, etc....


You know, if it works out it works out. I met my wife in undergrad, and I am still an undergrad while she finished last year. We dated for 4 years before we got married. But maybe we were more serious than you guys. We lived together for the vast majority of our relationship. I used to worry about law school putting a bunch of strain on our marriage, and maybe it will. But we are both secure enough in our feelings for one another that we know it will work out.

Trust me, if you are happy with each other and enjoy each others company enough, your relationship will endure through the law school strain. If you guys make it through, then you will owe it to the stability of your relationship and your willingness to compromise with each other. You will both have to make serious concessions with regards to time, hobbies and the like. You must learn to respect one another's boundaries and recognize that law school is a hugely demanding burden.

Ultimately mutual respect, extremely strong time management skills, and an intimate bond based upon friendship and love will be the things that carry you through. If the relationship does not survive the journey, then it probably was not that strong to begin with. There will be other stressors down the road: think kids, mortgage, etc. If your relationship cracks under the first major life change that you encounter, then it would most likely have gone bad later on in life, after you have invested years of your time with that individual. This is almost like a litmus test for relationships. The first big change that young couples face usually revolves around starting a new school, (or entering the workforce if school is not in the picture).

I was once in a relationship that I thought was strong, etc etc. But when my (now ex, and thankfully so) girlfriend moved off to college on the other side of the country, it became very suddenly painfully obvious that our relationship would not withstand the long distance thing. Fundamental cracks in our relationship that I did not even know existed were laid bare. Although it was difficult at the time, I am now thankful that it did not work out. I am now very lucky to be married to someone with whom I am fundamentally compatible and extremely happy with.

I know it is cliche, but if it is meant to last, then your relationship will endure law school. If you guys decide to break up, be thankful that it happened now instead of 10 years down the line, resulting in a messy divorce. I grew up in a home where divorce was a constant part of my life. Trust me, you do not want to inflict that on yourself or your family.

Only you really know what to do. Dig deep and ask yourself exactly what you want in life and whether you current relationship fits into the long term picture. You will need to do some sole searching. The fact that you are looking for advice on the internet tells me that you are not really sure if this thing is right for you. No one else can answer that question; you must decide for yourself.

nStiver
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby nStiver » Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:42 am

dcgbm wrote:97. some of you should lay off the poor girl. yeah apparently hiring is tough, but i'm sure she and a LOT of the applicants who don't have top notch numbers know that.


Come on guys, 163 is not a bad score. It is almost the 90%. Many people would kill for that score. Many people with 163s have become successful lawyers. I think that sometimes the culture of "170+ or you suck" on TLS causes people to lose their perspective.

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jeremydc
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby jeremydc » Mon Oct 25, 2010 1:58 am

Don't know if this helps but.

I met my girl about a year and a ago and we just click, we are exact opposites you know. I used to be a whorish f everything I see, train and fight mma, arrogant "Ill beat you up for looking at me" type of person while she is a very beautiful, great head on her shoulder, rather stay at home than party type of girl. The only thing we have in common is school. We me in CC and have ben happy ever since.

The thing is, she has a son. He was one when I met her and I never judged her for it but kind of took him in as my own. Her family lives in NJ and it would make sense for me to go to law school near NJ. We decided that where ever I go, we will go together but that aint fair to her to just tag along. She is graduating in Forensics and I want her to fulfill her dream and not give it up for me.

I was set on Rutgers being that I have a sub par 3.0 but have hit a 170 with just a month of studying. I know being Hawaiian gives me the diversity angel and I wouldnt mine going to a way higher ranked school but I love them both and would like to be with her. Rutgers aint a bad school but my dream was to live somewhere that the COL isnt high and that aint Jersey.

Now I am looking for schools where we can raise our son, and have her accomplish her goals. I am set on going to a place where I can raise a family, maybe Virginia, Iowa, Minnesota, or somewhere along those lines. The thing is, I wouldnt mind going to Rutgers either if it would be best for our family as a whole.


I guess my point is, go to the same law school if possible. A relationship is sacrifices. If either get into a better school than the other, but get into a lower ranked together. I would go for the lower. You only have 1 live, dont mess up a great thing for "career prospects"

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jeremydc
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby jeremydc » Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:03 am

nStiver wrote:
disneyprincess wrote:I would love some insight, especially from students that are already IN law school as I feel they would have a more realistic perspective.

My boyfriend and I met in undergrad, pretty close to the beginning of freshman year. I know most people don't stay together through undergrad (which everyone would tell me) but I turn around and we're both in our senior year and still very much together. We both want to apply to law school and have been looking at law schools lately.

The thing is, we BOTH do not want to do the long distance relationship thing. I know that after I post this, several people will reply, "just breakup, law school relationships don't work out". But I'm a big believer in perspective, and eventually, law school will be over, and then.... We're really happy together and at the end of the day and are serious about staying together. While we aren't living together (it's more of a personal preference) marriage is definitely something we've talked about, although realistically won't even be thinkable until after law school is over.

My perfect senario would be the same city, but different schools. That way, it's easier to make friends, not be smothered by each other, etc. Also, I want to be smart about this, and if we do end up by chance breaking up (although I'm not counting on it) I don't want our education to be compromised by one of us possibly tranferring out afterwards. The issue is, we have pretty similar stats, and there's not many cities where two schools exist within an hour of each other that are of the same caliber. I have a 162/3.32, and he has a 163/2.83 . He would like to go the same school however, and honestly, if we did, we could both get into a better school this way.

What do you think? Is it possible to go to the same schools and still make friends, etc? Or should we really shoot for same city/ different schools? Like Philly, NorCal, Chicago, etc....


You know, if it works out it works out. I met my wife in undergrad, and I am still an undergrad while she finished last year. We dated for 4 years before we got married. But maybe we were more serious than you guys. We lived together for the vast majority of our relationship. I used to worry about law school putting a bunch of strain on our marriage, and maybe it will. But we are both secure enough in our feelings for one another that we know it will work out.

Trust me, if you are happy with each other and enjoy each others company enough, your relationship will endure through the law school strain. If you guys make it through, then you will owe it to the stability of your relationship and your willingness to compromise with each other. You will both have to make serious concessions with regards to time, hobbies and the like. You must learn to respect one another's boundaries and recognize that law school is a hugely demanding burden.

Ultimately mutual respect, extremely strong time management skills, and an intimate bond based upon friendship and love will be the things that carry you through. If the relationship does not survive the journey, then it probably was not that strong to begin with. There will be other stressors down the road: think kids, mortgage, etc. If your relationship cracks under the first major life change that you encounter, then it would most likely have gone bad later on in life, after you have invested years of your time with that individual. This is almost like a litmus test for relationships. The first big change that young couples face usually revolves around starting a new school, (or entering the workforce if school is not in the picture).

I was once in a relationship that I thought was strong, etc etc. But when my (now ex, and thankfully so) girlfriend moved off to college on the other side of the country, it became very suddenly painfully obvious that our relationship would not withstand the long distance thing. Fundamental cracks in our relationship that I did not even know existed were laid bare. Although it was difficult at the time, I am now thankful that it did not work out. I am now very lucky to be married to someone with whom I am fundamentally compatible and extremely happy with.

I know it is cliche, but if it is meant to last, then your relationship will endure law school. If you guys decide to break up, be thankful that it happened now instead of 10 years down the line, resulting in a messy divorce. I grew up in a home where divorce was a constant part of my life. Trust me, you do not want to inflict that on yourself or your family.

Only you really know what to do. Dig deep and ask yourself exactly what you want in life and whether you current relationship fits into the long term picture. You will need to do some sole searching. The fact that you are looking for advice on the internet tells me that you are not really sure if this thing is right for you. No one else can answer that question; you must decide for yourself.






Great advice. Listen to the man.

jay jay
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby jay jay » Tue Oct 26, 2010 4:29 am

I wish you guys had higher GPAs. But I realize, that's not gonna change and your LSAT scores reeeeally aren't all that bad. Again, I just wish you guys had higher GPAs. Schucks!

FWIW, I'm going to law school, my girlfriend is going nowhere, she has about a 2.9 GPA and likes the idea of getting a professional job, but she sucks at school. It's just not for her. And I love her even more for recognizing that.

Good luck you crazy cats!

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Lwoods
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby Lwoods » Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:53 am

If you're still checking this, please don't make your school decision based on your boyfriend. Yes his LSAT is one point higher than yours, but your GPA is significantly higher. You will most likely have more options than him. Apply broadly and see where you each get in. If each of your top choices end up being the same school or in the same city, great! If not, do the long distance thing. If it's right, it'll survive.

Best of luck!

ajmanyjah
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Re: Going to the same school with my boyfriend?

Postby ajmanyjah » Tue Oct 26, 2010 4:15 pm

reasonable_man wrote:
im_blue wrote:
reasonable_man wrote:NYC. You go to Cardozo St. John's and he goes to Brooklyn New York Law school. You both graduate unemployed with six figure debt.



While I agree that you're solution would likely yield the same outcome, its pretty well settled that my solution also works.. You're just about as fucked at SJU and NYLS as you are at Schmozzo and BLS..


:roll:




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