dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

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MJMD
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby MJMD » Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:35 pm

lawgunner75 wrote:My sister was in a similar situation; she is really bright and could have gone anywhere but stayed in her local community where she and her husband worked and had built a life. It is a trade off and whatever you decide to do, you can't resent each other for it. My sister ended up going to a local school, graduated 1st in her class, and has her pick of jobs in a market with about 3 million people. She makes REALLY good money and is going to be very successful. Your wife is smart. She may not go to Harvard, but she will do very well in law school, and that will open up many doors locally in terms of job prospects. And you will still have your $200k job. I think you have to come to a decision together, and then accept the pros and cons together.


^^

I like this post.

But still, tell us where you are! The situation may not be as bad as you think: just because you don't know anything about your local law school doesn't mean that someone on this forum can't tell you that it's actually really good (you're "notalawyer", after all!). There may be no problem here at all.

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Mr. Matlock
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby Mr. Matlock » Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:41 pm

What kind of law is your wife interested in practicing?

What's it going to take today to get you to drive away in this beautiful customized, 1999 Chevy Cavalier?
Image

Connelly
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby Connelly » Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:32 pm

Long-term goals would be very helpful here. Kids, goals, retirement, ruling the world, etc.

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20160810
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby 20160810 » Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:45 pm

Personally I think that part of exchanging vows means maybe passing up options like Harvard Law. She should go somewhere close enough that you can at least see each other on weekends. She knew about your livelihood and its lack of portability before she took the LSAT and besides, this just means she can probably get a full ride at your local school. If you're afraid she's going to resent you for it, be very open and honest with her but lay down what you are and aren't willing to live with. You've worked damn hard to get where you are, though, and her intelligence shouldn't minimize the importance of your own achievements.

motiontodismiss
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby motiontodismiss » Fri Jun 11, 2010 6:45 pm

bestusernameever wrote:Dont drag your wife down man. If she can go to a top tier law school, let her go. Perhaps you can do long distance for a year while you try to wrap up your plans. Destiny is greater for her dude


This is why I shall never get married.

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Mr. Matlock
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby Mr. Matlock » Fri Jun 11, 2010 6:58 pm

motiontodismiss wrote:
bestusernameever wrote:Dont drag your wife down man. If she can go to a top tier law school, let her go. Perhaps you can do long distance for a year while you try to wrap up your plans. Destiny is greater for her dude


This is why I shall never get married.

If you continue to listen to advice from bestusername, I agree, you probably shouldn't get married. And for Christ's sake get your tubes tied/cut.

BenJ
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby BenJ » Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:57 pm

Ultimately, as the husband, it is your express duty to bow to your wife's wishes with regards to her career goals, just as it is her duty to bow to yours. In the event that your wife is admitted to an excellent law school (whether it be Harvard or a different top 6 school), it is solely her choice whether to attend.

This does not mean that you must uproot your career and follow her to New Haven/Cambridge/Palo Alto/New York City/Chicago. However, you should not discourage her from going alone, either. A good marriage must withstand three years of separation with visits or else it isn't a good marriage; I've seen some do more.

This is advice to you. She may well stay behind anyway. If, by happy coincidence, your business is in Ann Arbor, MI or Charlottesville, VA, staying behind would be the obvious choice. But it is her choice, and your sole duty is to apply no pressure.

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jack duluoz
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby jack duluoz » Sat Jun 12, 2010 12:26 am

dump her, get a prettier wife. :lol: :lol:

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Quine
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby Quine » Sat Jun 12, 2010 12:27 am

BenJ wrote:Ultimately, as the husband, it is your express duty to bow to your wife's wishes with regards to her career goals, just as it is her duty to bow to yours. In the event that your wife is admitted to an excellent law school (whether it be Harvard or a different top 6 school), it is solely her choice whether to attend.

This does not mean that you must uproot your career and follow her to New Haven/Cambridge/Palo Alto/New York City/Chicago. However, you should not discourage her from going alone, either. A good marriage must withstand three years of separation with visits or else it isn't a good marriage; I've seen some do more.

This is advice to you. She may well stay behind anyway. If, by happy coincidence, your business is in Ann Arbor, MI or Charlottesville, VA, staying behind would be the obvious choice. But it is her choice, and your sole duty is to apply no pressure.


No.

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Quine
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby Quine » Sat Jun 12, 2010 12:36 am

Mr. Matlock wrote:
motiontodismiss wrote:
bestusernameever wrote:Dont drag your wife down man. If she can go to a top tier law school, let her go. Perhaps you can do long distance for a year while you try to wrap up your plans. Destiny is greater for her dude


This is why I shall never get married.

If you continue to listen to advice from bestusername, I agree, you probably shouldn't get married. And for Christ's sake get your tubes tied/cut.


+1, bestusernameever is an idiot.

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kalvano
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby kalvano » Sat Jun 12, 2010 12:01 pm

BenJ wrote:Ultimately, as the husband, it is your express duty to bow to your wife's wishes with regards to her career goals, just as it is her duty to bow to yours. In the event that your wife is admitted to an excellent law school (whether it be Harvard or a different top 6 school), it is solely her choice whether to attend.

This does not mean that you must uproot your career and follow her to New Haven/Cambridge/Palo Alto/New York City/Chicago. However, you should not discourage her from going alone, either. A good marriage must withstand three years of separation with visits or else it isn't a good marriage; I've seen some do more.

This is advice to you. She may well stay behind anyway. If, by happy coincidence, your business is in Ann Arbor, MI or Charlottesville, VA, staying behind would be the obvious choice. But it is her choice, and your sole duty is to apply no pressure.



No.



BenJ wrote:This does not mean that you must uproot your career and follow her to New Haven/Cambridge/Palo Alto/New York City/Chicago. However, you should not discourage her from going alone, either. A good marriage must withstand three years of separation with visits or else it isn't a good marriage; I've seen some do more.



Especially no.

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Quine
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby Quine » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:47 pm

kalvano wrote:
quote="BenJ"

No.

quote="BenJ"

Especially no.



Don't worry kalvano, I have the situation under control.

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kalvano
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby kalvano » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:49 pm

I saw that after I posted, but was too lazy to click the delete button.

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World B. Free
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby World B. Free » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:52 pm

SoftBoiledLife wrote:Personally I think that part of exchanging vows means maybe passing up options like Harvard Law. .

+1 --- if she goes out of state without you your marriage will suffer.

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kalvano
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby kalvano » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:53 pm

What happened to the OP?

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Quine
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby Quine » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:55 pm

kalvano wrote:I saw that after I posted, but was too lazy to click the delete button.


It's cool - I failed to distinguish the uniquely stupid middle paragraph from what was otherwise merely terrible advice.

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jayn3
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby jayn3 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:00 pm

vanwinkle wrote:
kalvano wrote:Why not get yourself a good GM and move? Split the money. $100K is nothing to sneeze at. Owners don't need to be there for it to run right.

Otherwise, selling is selling. I sold cars before law school. You can probably get a job most anywhere.

This may actually be TCR.

agreed.

also, even if she always said she'd be willing to stick around and go to a lesser school, chances are she'll feel pretty torn once she starts doing research. no matter how great your relationship is now, throw in a seed of resentment and things can go downhill fast.

course, that applies for you too if you don't want to leave your career =\

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Quine
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby Quine » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:03 pm

jayn3 wrote:
vanwinkle wrote:
kalvano wrote:Why not get yourself a good GM and move? Split the money. $100K is nothing to sneeze at. Owners don't need to be there for it to run right.

Otherwise, selling is selling. I sold cars before law school. You can probably get a job most anywhere.

This may actually be TCR.

agreed.



+1

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kalvano
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby kalvano » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:07 pm

The other benefit is OP can go sell at a dealership close by his wife's school and get income from that as well.

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Quine
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby Quine » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:10 pm

kalvano wrote:The other benefit is OP can go sell at a dealership close by his wife's school and get income from that as well.


+1, naturally.

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romothesavior
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby romothesavior » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:11 pm

BenJ wrote:Ultimately, as the husband, it is your express duty to bow to your wife's wishes with regards to her career goals, just as it is her duty to bow to yours. In the event that your wife is admitted to an excellent law school (whether it be Harvard or a different top 6 school), it is solely her choice whether to attend.

This does not mean that you must uproot your career and follow her to New Haven/Cambridge/Palo Alto/New York City/Chicago. However, you should not discourage her from going alone, either. A good marriage must withstand three years of separation with visits or else it isn't a good marriage; I've seen some do more.

This is advice to you. She may well stay behind anyway. If, by happy coincidence, your business is in Ann Arbor, MI or Charlottesville, VA, staying behind would be the obvious choice. But it is her choice, and your sole duty is to apply no pressure
.


Quine and Kalvano have a monopoly on the no's in this thread, so a strike-thru was the next best option.

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SaintClarence27
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby SaintClarence27 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:12 pm

kalvano wrote:What happened to the OP?


He left, never to return.

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jayn3
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby jayn3 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:13 pm

SaintClarence27 wrote:
kalvano wrote:What happened to the OP?


He left, never to return.


he and his wife are duking it out right now =(

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SaintClarence27
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby SaintClarence27 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:15 pm

jayn3 wrote:
SaintClarence27 wrote:
kalvano wrote:What happened to the OP?


He left, never to return.


he and his wife are duking it out right now =(


God, I hope not. The reality is that it's impossible to give decent advice without more information.

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GATORTIM
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Re: dilemma--I've got local career, wife got a 177 LSAT

Postby GATORTIM » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:32 pm

I'm only posting to boost the number of posts between OP and him coming back




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