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Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:00 pm
by A'nold
Well, lion avatar guy and kosavo or whatever your name is, you guys obviously have horrible relationships w/ your parents. I'm married with a child and I would invite both sides of the parent fork to come and help us. It is NOT the same thing as ASD, lol. If you would chuckle, you = mega douche for sure. That'd be like me "chuckling" because your parents visited you while you are a law student. Ummm......you don't have to disown your family to be "cool" and you do realize that you are going into a professional school right? Being embarassed b/c your mommy said she loves you in front of your friends should have passed by now, lulz.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:02 pm
by A'nold
peterswe wrote:Whats wrong with parents attending ASD? Is it that horrible for parents to be curious about what there children are doing with their lives? What if they just want a break from their own (possibly boring) daily lives, and want to tag along as a last outing with their kid?

Think you all are weird - be nice to your parents, they raised you.


While I think people that judge the whole parent thing are often woefully immature, there is a line. Bringing a controlling parent to ASD that asks tons of questions and stomps around introducing their child to people really do need to cut the cord. I mean, you have graduated college, do you still have your mommy doing laundry for you on the weekends? Probs. for these kids.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:04 pm
by jayn3
rbgrocio wrote:
kalvano wrote:I think that's it. I get along much better with my parents at a distance.


We all do, but them helping me move in is not going to cause me some trauma.


ditto. i've seen my dad once since january, and that was at an ASW that was a convenient drive for him (and he was really quiet). i'd feel more guilty about having them help me move if i saw them more than a few times a year.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:06 pm
by peterswe
A'nold wrote:While I think people that judge the whole parent thing are often woefully immature, there is a line. Bringing a controlling parent to ASD that asks tons of questions and stomps around introducing their child to people really do need to cut the cord. I mean, you have graduated college, do you still have your mommy doing laundry for you on the weekends? Probs. for these kids.


Yea I agree with this, but some ppl in this thread act like any time spent with parents = immaturity.

I consider myself pretty independent, but I do enjoy the company of my mom and dad and I hope this never changes.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:08 pm
by kalvano
A'nold wrote:Well, lion avatar guy and kosavo or whatever your name is, you guys obviously have horrible relationships w/ your parents. I'm married with a child and I would invite both sides of the parent fork to come and help us. It is NOT the same thing as ASD, lol. If you would chuckle, you = mega douche for sure. That'd be like me "chuckling" because your parents visited you while you are a law student. Ummm......you don't have to disown your family to be "cool" and you do realize that you are going into a professional school right? Being embarassed b/c your mommy said she loves you in front of your friends should have passed by now, lulz.



I never said I "disowned" my family, I simply said I get along better at a distance with them.

Nor did I ever say anything about them helping you move except that free movers are good.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:08 pm
by peterswe
btw my dad went to ASD and both of my parents will be helping me move in LOL

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:08 pm
by d34d9823
.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:15 pm
by peterswe
The way I see it, most parents that show up to ASD's and to help students move in are just trying to experience the same sort "excitement" we law students gain from starting a new chapter in our lives. I wouldn't really blame it on the students - I bet most are just allowing the parents to "tag along" out of respect, appeasement, etc etc.... plus like mentioned a thousand times already, doesn't hurt to have an extra mind around to process information or an extra hand to move furniture.....

Everyone knows help from the rents ends there... no one is expecting their mom to do their readings and outline for em lol, so again whats the big deal

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:24 pm
by JOThompson
peterswe wrote:Whats wrong with parents attending ASD? Is it that horrible for parents to be curious about what there children are doing with their lives? What if they just want a break from their own (possibly boring) daily lives, and want to tag along as a last outing with their kid? (given you will be living the life of a student for 3 years, then an attorney after that and may not be able to see them ever again lol)

Think you all are weird - be nice to your parents, they raised you. (edit: well i think most of us were raised by our parents; if not, this doesn't apply)

I love my parents and have a strong relationship with them. I'll be disheartened to move so far away from them. However, I'm not the sort to drag them along with me for my own comfort. There are very good reasons to have your parents accompany you to an ASD, that's undeniable. There are some poor reasons as well. Someone posted a thread about crazy ASD behavior--one of the more memorable stories was about a control freak mother at Notre Dame who kept interrupting the workshop. If your mom is that sort and she's helping you move in to your law school apartment, then I think that's a little odd. That's all my comment was intended to communicate.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:32 pm
by Dr. Strangelove
It won't be weird unless you and/or your parents make it awkward.
But I definitely appreciate the distance from parents-hell,my mom wants me to go to law school in NYC so it would be reasonable for me to commute (or live close enough to them to visit weekly)..to be fair, the lack of parental influence at college probably played some role in why I had some shitty grades.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:37 pm
by A'nold
d34dluk3 wrote:
A'nold wrote:Well, lion avatar guy and kosavo or whatever your name is, you guys obviously have horrible relationships w/ your parents.

First off, you can call me Luke. I know it's hard to read, but whatever, I'm a bad username picker.

I actually have a fairly good relationship with my parents. I'm fairly irritated that you would make assumptions about my personal life and hate on my family because you don't share my sense of humor.



Haha. Here's a question for you though: How does "I would chuckle a little" translate into your sense of humor? Is that some kind of really deep joke or something?

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Fri May 21, 2010 11:43 pm
by d34d9823
A'nold wrote:Haha. Here's a question for you though: How does "I would chuckle a little" translate into your sense of humor? Is that some kind of really deep joke or something?

Well, I don't know about deep.

My amusement would come from:
1. the juxtaposition of me with people who still have their parents involved
2. the return to the imagery of my own freshman year of college, but ~7 years later
3. the contrast between who I was and who my peers were then and who I am now

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 12:32 am
by trialjunky
What's up with all of the insecure posts? Why the hell would anyone care? Who has time to be checking if someones parents are helping them move in? It's not a big deal. If you want the help, take the help. If you dont want the help, dont take the help. What really more is there to say?

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 12:44 am
by Hey-O
This thread just makes me sad for some people. I love my family and help them do all kinds of stuff all the time. We cut wood, unload furniture, paint houses. Sometimes I just hang out with my grandparents for an afternoon and help them with their chores. They're eighty and have a big yard. So when I have a big job of course the first people I ask for help is my family.

Moving is a lot of work and I welcome any help I can get. I don't even need help but my aunt is coming with me just so we can take a trip together to New York. We're going to visit my brother and his many kids in Pennsylvania.

I feel bad that so few people seem to have this kind of relationship with their families.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 12:50 am
by catharsis
honestly, i dont really want to live too far from my parents because i love them and im extremelyyy close with them. with that said, they will be a critical force in helping move into my apartment and im fortunate enough that they're offering to buy me furniture and other things i cant afford right now for it lol.

if i saw someone with their parents helping them move i'd be like hell yeah that's awesome. [good] parents are special people and we're here because of them so there's no excuse for being embarassed if theyre around..

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 12:54 am
by joeshmo39
I HOPE my parents will help me move in or at least make the drive. Otherwise, it will be very difficult and expensive with U-haul costs etc. Also, this is separate really, but I went to college 20 minutes from home (30 with traffic) so in their minds I think it is like I never quite left. I think it would be cathartic, at least for my mother, if she could help out. I'm 23, but still, we're their children for crying out loud.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 12:56 am
by Jones, Dow
no, I think the proper etiquette for moving is to show up by yourself and then ask all your new neighbors to help you carry in the heavy stuff.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 12:56 am
by AngryAvocado
I don't know about you guys, but I'm planning on having my 87 year old grandma do most of the heavy lifting.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:14 pm
by mmmadeli
I think there's always this jump from "parents attending ASD" to "parents being overbearing and controlling at ASD." I'm only a year out of college, and I'm living in my parents' house this year. My mom's young and she raised me and my brother as a single parent for quite a few years, so she and I are really close. Yeah, she came to one of my ASD events with me. It was the first one I went to, at a school near my home that gave me a large scholarship (in a state system of which she has been on the faculty at another campus for a number of years, so she was familiar with the system). She hung back from the group and I actually didn't see her for a lot of the day -- the event did have one portion for families which she went to, and she brought some work with her so that I could mingle with current students and tour guides without her getting in my way. When we were together on tours and so on, she didn't ask questions or talk out of turn, and we rehashed the whole thing together on the way home. I was really glad she came with me, because she's my mom, and I value her input and advice on important decisions. I'm an adult and I'm going to professional school, but I'm still young and making a big decision. It's not bad to get input from people who have more life experience, if you want it.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:35 pm
by kalvano
I think it also depends on how old you are.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 8:20 pm
by ChaotiCait
My little sister is starting undergrad in the same city, so my parent will be helping both of us. Why pass up free moving help and possibly some free meals? Many of us probably won't see our families for a while, and its a good opportunity to explore somewhere with people you care about.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 2:22 am
by jayn3
ChaotiCait wrote:Why pass up free moving help and possibly some free meals?

TCR

ChaotiCait wrote:Many of us probably won't see our families for a while, and its a good opportunity to explore somewhere with people you care about.


...the other CR. one of the major factors in my decision was ability to visit my family over a weekend occasionally. family time, if you are on good terms, is definitely among the top 5 ways to stay sane.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 3:43 am
by teabag
no why would you care?

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 3:52 am
by teabag
amyLAchemist wrote:Unfortunately, I think people tend to not distinguish between "helicopter" parents and those who behave like normal human beings/treat their adult children as, well, adults.

Re: Parents help move in - weird?

Posted: Sun May 23, 2010 3:58 am
by entrechatsix
am i missing something? how will anyone know who helps you move in?