How soon is too soon?!?!

AmicusCuriae6
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Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 3:43 pm

How soon is too soon?!?!

Postby AmicusCuriae6 » Fri Nov 03, 2017 11:16 am

I know a few friends who didn't pass the bar. Some have already bounced back and are preparing for February. But I still have a few friends who haven't said anything, not really speaking, staying off social media. When is the appropriate time to reach out, be supportive, or be a lending ear without upsetting them? I don't want to be insensitive with my timing if it's too soon.

NoDayButToday
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Re: How soon is too soon?!?!

Postby NoDayButToday » Fri Nov 03, 2017 11:19 am

I think it just depends on your friends. One of my friends also didn't pass. Gave her the weekend before reaching out and offering to be helpful in any way that she needed. I was probably going to wait a little bit longer or even just act like nothing had happened, because I figured that was what she would prefer, but she started commiserating with me and some other friends first about how the bar was going to make her pay the full $1000 filing fee again to retake, so I figured...if she's talking about it to us, maybe she's ready to hear from us / wants to talk about it. I don't think there's a wrong answer if you're well-meaning. Just be humble about passing yourself and don't overdo it.

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RCinDNA
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Re: How soon is too soon?!?!

Postby RCinDNA » Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:19 pm

Depends on the friend. I honestly did not tell anyone because I was going through the anger phase and most of my friends were still waiting for results so I didn't want to increase their anxiety or be a downer. I spent the month re-grouping. I found myself annoyed with the ecstatic Facebook posts but I really do understand that relief.

But what I really appreciated from the deepest part of my psyche were the few friends who reached out discretely and politely to ask if I passed. Up until then, I had just seen other people celebrating their passage on social media and this was one of those times that I needed more introverted and sensitive friends to notice who wasn't joining the chorus.

Tony48
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Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2017 6:47 pm

Re: How soon is too soon?!?!

Postby Tony48 » Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:15 pm

I'm in the same boat. One of my really good friends hasn't responded to my text message at ALL, and I waited until maybe 2 or 3 weeks after the results came out. Another one of my friends went completely incognito and deleted his FB profile and everything. This was his 2nd try. But I haven't seen them in person since the text (I moved out of state after the exam).

But I'd probably be just as standoffish. For our friends who unfortunately didn't pass, they do deserve their space. I just hope I haven't completely lost them.

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SilvermanBarPrep
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Re: How soon is too soon?!?!

Postby SilvermanBarPrep » Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:28 am

A big part of the difficulty of preparing for a bar exam is that there is less time than there is material. Or, there is more material than there is time to learn it. That would be the case even if a student studied for an entire year, but there is no doubt about it; the earlier one starts preparing, the better.

I wouldn't want anyone to take this to mean that studying for a couple of months (as people tend to do after graduating law school) is not sufficient. It can certainly be, but when you have the opportunity to study longer you should.

Sean (Silverman Bar Exam Tutoring)

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ndbigdave
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Re: How soon is too soon?!?!

Postby ndbigdave » Sun Nov 05, 2017 1:01 pm

SilvermanBarPrep wrote:A big part of the difficulty of preparing for a bar exam is that there is less time than there is material. Or, there is more material than there is time to learn it. That would be the case even if a student studied for an entire year, but there is no doubt about it; the earlier one starts preparing, the better.

I wouldn't want anyone to take this to mean that studying for a couple of months (as people tend to do after graduating law school) is not sufficient. It can certainly be, but when you have the opportunity to study longer you should.

Sean (Silverman Bar Exam Tutoring)


I think Sean may not have read the original post :D

The fact of the matter is there is no "set time" and only you know your friends, but I think a nice gesture via call, text, email, Facebook message or even an actual letter can be a nice touch. Its just a matter of not being pushy - when someone is feeling down the last thing they want to hear about is advice, just offer support, and ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.




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