virgoyum wrote:Hey guys don't want to leave the thread hanging just because I didn't get the news I wanted. Still pushing for those waiting on those results.
Good or bad you will feel the weight start to lift once you find out.
Second-time taker here. Waiting on NY. Failed by 9 scaled points on July. I am a foreign taker (also foreign trained) so, as you probably understand, I kinda betting against the odds here. All in all, my point is that I get you. I get how you must be feeling now.
My circumstances weren't easy when preparing both times. My father was diagnosed with cancer again a year ago after 5 years in remission. It was right before I started studying for July. When my results came out on late October, I didn't get the luxury of grief because I had to wear a smile to cheer him up while he underwent therapy and was hospitalized for about a month during Oct-Nov.
I was about to start preparing for the Feb exam when in early December when my father caught a nasty bug that kept him in intensive care for additional two months and in rehab for another month. Acute pneumonia that sent him into a septic shock and multi-organ failure. Doctors in the unit said there's no chance of him making it as he was in assisted respiration for too long... Well, both my father and I thought otherwise. I coordinated all the doctors I knew from his medical history and managed to bring him back. Today, my mother is having a hard time keeping him in the house...
So I thought that all these hardships meant something = I had to make it. My whole family tried to convince me to either quit or postpone my NY admission efforts and shift my focus on my home country. "You're father is not well", "circumstances are not ideal" (as if they ever are...), "competition is very high". They even told me not to take the exam for a third time if I failed this one - not after the exam but just a couple of days before. Only one person in my family believed in me: Me.
"The odds for a foreign retaker is ~15%": I couldn't care less. "More debt for the trip and application fees": Who gives a f**k?
I watched this video every day I felt my reality was catching up with my determination:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41Zjh3AirjU
It really helped. "Those who say they can't and those who say they can are usually both right..."
Although I don't yet know whether I passed, I feel optimistic. Repeated the Kaplan Prep Course I purchased in my first attempt as it was for free and trusted the system. Studied harder and more determined. Left the exam feeling more confident than the first time. In July I was thinking "it's OK to fail, considering the circumstances..."
This time failure wasn't an option. But even if I do fail, I will try again. And again, and again...
The only thing I have to say to bar exam takers: You owe this success to no one else but yourself. It is for you. No one is going to feel like you will, whether you pass or fail. It is a lonely and uphill path; and you'll either fail and tumble down alone or make it to the top and enjoy the view alone.
The only certain way to failure is quitting. No matter how many times it takes for you to pass, you never really failed unless you quit. Remember that.