mike.alexander23 wrote:I'm going to digress a bit.
For those that are repeaters, would any care to share whether they truly felt, or had any doubt, that they passed? In other words, I'm trying to test the whole "You know when you did or didn't do well" theory. Did any of you know walking out of Day 3 that more likely than not that you had failed? Or were you completely blindsided?
Feb. 2014: I thought it could go either way. Had first timers jitters but still hoped I did well enough. I was devastated when I failed...the pain of taking it a second time made the failure even worse. Failed by 8 points. My score was 1432. I can never be a first time passer?!?! That hurt my pride!
July 2014: I thought I learned my lesson; knew my weaknesses so I was SURE I passed. I was only 8 points away last time so for sure I was in! I was so confident that I stupidly bought those "I passed the Bar" notecards ready to mail my friends and family with the expected good news. At this point I was not hurt but I was pissed. My score was 1338. But my raw score was similar to Feb 2014. I had a "what do you f&$king want from me?!?!" attitude.
Feb. 2015: I studied my ass off but I had this "I don't care what happens!" Unlike before when I ate...slept...dreamed Bar...I had fun while studying. It was the holiday period so I went to the Rose Bowl Parade in Pasadena, a friend's 12/13/14 wedding, went on Hollywood bus tour, spent an entire day at Universal Studios the 2nd week in January. I felt like 50 cent, I got shot 2 fucking times, I won't die if I get shot again. I'll just keeping going until I can't go anymore. After day 3, I thought there's no way I'm going to pass. I left the exam with no doubt of failure that I almost forgot to upload my answer. I was so convinced I failed that I thought uploading my answers won't make a darn difference. You don't take a pregnancy test if you had a hysterectomy. But hey...I was curious to see how far off from 1440 I was. I had no hope that I didn't even log in to see results at 6pm. It wasn't until 11:30pm just to get confirmation of my failure and to see something to get me back into serious study mode by Monday. I actually started studying lightly a month prior. When I logged in and saw green writing, I was confused. It took me a minute...this doesn't look like the red text I'm use to. Wait...I passed? Then I started feeling like maybe they just let me in by accident because there's no way I passed. Was it a pity pass? Whatever...I'll take it!
I still reads essays. I even read through all the July 2015 essays and issue spotted each one. There's this feeling of unfinished business because I wasn't mentally prepared to pass.
By the way, I think One Timers Essay 6 "model answer" is BS!