Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

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cam1992
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Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby cam1992 » Thu Aug 17, 2017 5:07 pm

I am really lost right now and I need advice. Orientation begins on Sunday, and this morning I received some devastating personal news. I'm basically paralyzed and I don't even really know why I am posting this. Basically wondering if I should let my school know? My parents want me to stay and get settled, but I don't really know anyone yet and I just don't know how I am going to start school with this. Any advice on if this is something I should let the school know? I doubt that this is the last "drama" surrounding this and it could really interrupt my semester. I have a therapist lined up, but I just don't know. Thanks.

Bach-City
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby Bach-City » Thu Aug 17, 2017 6:17 pm

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Last edited by Bach-City on Sun Aug 27, 2017 11:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sparkytrainer
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby sparkytrainer » Thu Aug 17, 2017 6:20 pm

cam1992 wrote:I am really lost right now and I need advice. Orientation begins on Sunday, and this morning I received some devastating personal news. I'm basically paralyzed and I don't even really know why I am posting this. Basically wondering if I should let my school know? My parents want me to stay and get settled, but I don't really know anyone yet and I just don't know how I am going to start school with this. Any advice on if this is something I should let the school know? I doubt that this is the last "drama" surrounding this and it could really interrupt my semester. I have a therapist lined up, but I just don't know. Thanks.


maybe ask your school if you can defer for a year

tomwatts
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby tomwatts » Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:02 pm

sparkytrainer wrote:
cam1992 wrote:I am really lost right now and I need advice. Orientation begins on Sunday, and this morning I received some devastating personal news. I'm basically paralyzed and I don't even really know why I am posting this. Basically wondering if I should let my school know? My parents want me to stay and get settled, but I don't really know anyone yet and I just don't know how I am going to start school with this. Any advice on if this is something I should let the school know? I doubt that this is the last "drama" surrounding this and it could really interrupt my semester. I have a therapist lined up, but I just don't know. Thanks.


maybe ask your school if you can defer for a year

Totally endorse this. 1L is hard enough, and it significantly impacts at least how you begin your career after law school. If you have some serious personal problems alongside it, there is a serious risk that you will be a wreck. If you can take a year off, at least give some thought to taking a year off.

Bach-City
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby Bach-City » Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:08 pm

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Last edited by Bach-City on Sun Aug 27, 2017 11:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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rpupkin
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby rpupkin » Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:11 pm

If your personal problem is the unexpected end of a romantic relationship, then I recommend that you go ahead and start law school.

lucretius_
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby lucretius_ » Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:25 pm

rpupkin wrote:If your personal problem is the unexpected end of a romantic relationship, then I recommend that you go ahead and start law school.

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emkay625
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby emkay625 » Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:29 pm

Lots of judgment in this thread. We have no idea what OP's problem is. Could be divorce, custody issue, death of a loved one, etc.

OP, only you can make this decision. If this is something that is going to impact your ability, say, a month from now, to focus and study, you should defer. If it is something you think you'll be over by then—or at least over enough so it doesn't impact you day-to-day—go ahead and start school.

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White Dwarf
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby White Dwarf » Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:40 pm

lucretius_ wrote:
rpupkin wrote:If your personal problem is the unexpected end of a romantic relationship, then I recommend that you go ahead and start law school.

Some people are more fragile than others. While there's something to be said for toughening up, if you feel it will have a significant negative impact on your law school performance, you should consider deferring until next year.

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rpupkin
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby rpupkin » Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:50 pm

emkay625 wrote:Lots of judgment in this thread. We have no idea what OP's problem is. Could be divorce, custody issue, death of a loved one, etc.

Sorry, I'm not seeing the "judgment" in this thread. OP asked for advice and I offered a conditional response ("If your personal problem is the unexpected end of a romantic relationship . . . .").

RedPurpleBlue
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby RedPurpleBlue » Fri Aug 18, 2017 3:25 am

rpupkin wrote:
emkay625 wrote:Lots of judgment in this thread. We have no idea what OP's problem is. Could be divorce, custody issue, death of a loved one, etc.

Sorry, I'm not seeing the "judgment" in this thread. OP asked for advice and I offered a conditional response ("If your personal problem is the unexpected end of a romantic relationship . . . .").


You offered a crappy answer of very little value to OP. White Dwarf is right in that some people are more fragile than others. If I had broken up with the girlfriend I had several years ago on the eve of law school, I would have performed terribly during 1L. If I would have broken up with the girl I was dating a few months ago on the eve of law school, I'd be completely fine. This is all to say that different relationships can mean more or less to us depending on the circumstances. The stage of life we are in can also play a huge part in how we respond to breakups. Maybe OP is breaking up with the person s/he dated for 5 years and intended to marry. Maybe it's a divorce. Maybe it's OPs first relationship. Or, maybe you're just completely off base and OPs best friend died or something else equally awful happened. There's really no reason to leave a snarky response that amounts to "tough shit, brush it off." OP said that s/he thinks it could really disrupt 1L, so I think that others have offered good advise in recommending that OP see if deferment is a possibility.

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rpupkin
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby rpupkin » Fri Aug 18, 2017 4:11 am

RedPurpleBlue wrote:There's really no reason to leave a snarky response that amounts to "tough shit, brush it off." OP said that s/he thinks it could really disrupt 1L, so I think that others have offered good advise in recommending that OP see if deferment is a possibility.

My response wasn't snarky. I didn't say (or think) "tough shit, brush it off."

Folks are right to suggest that I don't know how fragile OP's mental state actually is. And you (and others) are right that I don't know what actually happened to OP. None of us do. But even though OP didn't share what actually happened, and even though none of us is in a position to diagnose OP's mental condition, he or she still came here and asked for advice. So I'm going to offer advice based on my experience and based on what I've observed in people i know. I'm sorry that upsets you.

Like many of us, I had friends who suffered through the trauma of the end of a long-term relationship as law school was beginning. A couple of those friends briefly considered dropping out, but stayed with it and were ultimately happier for having done so.

As with all the advice offered in this thread, OP has to put what I said in perspective based on whatever his or her circumstances actually are. If something else happened to OP—if he or she has cancer or is going through a divorce with kids or is getting charged with felony embezzlement or is dealing with some other personal crisis—then my suggestion doesn't apply. But if OP just broke up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, then going to law school (instead of doing whatever else OP would do for the next year) could actually help.

RedPurpleBlue
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby RedPurpleBlue » Fri Aug 18, 2017 4:47 am

rpupkin wrote:My response wasn't snarky. I didn't say (or think) "tough shit, brush it off."

Folks are right to suggest that I don't know how fragile OP's mental state actually is. And you (and others) are right that I don't know what actually happened to OP. None of us do. But even though OP didn't share what actually happened, and even though none of us is in a position to diagnose OP's mental condition, he or she still came here and asked for advice. So I'm going to offer advice based on my experience and based on what I've observed in people i know. I'm sorry that upsets you.

Like many of us, I had friends who suffered through the trauma of the end of a long-term relationship as law school was beginning. A couple of those friends briefly considered dropping out, but stayed with it and were ultimately happier for having done so.

As with all the advice offered in this thread, OP has to put what I said in perspective based on whatever his or her circumstances actually are. If something else happened to OP—if he or she has cancer or is going through a divorce with kids or is getting charged with felony embezzlement or is dealing with some other personal crisis—then my suggestion doesn't apply. But if OP just broke up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, then going to law school (instead of doing whatever else OP would do for the next year) could actually help.


After reading this response, I completely understand your perspective. I guess I would just like to point out that you spent the few extra seconds here to explain it to me, but you didn't do so when giving advice to OP, the person who actually needs advise in this thread. I think I would have been much less agitated by your original post and probably evenly inclined to agree with it if it were delivered with the above context. Originally, it looked more like a one line quip and came off as very judgmental and condescending. I guess that's the downside of text-based communication.

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rpupkin
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby rpupkin » Fri Aug 18, 2017 4:55 am

RedPurpleBlue wrote:
rpupkin wrote:My response wasn't snarky. I didn't say (or think) "tough shit, brush it off."

Folks are right to suggest that I don't know how fragile OP's mental state actually is. And you (and others) are right that I don't know what actually happened to OP. None of us do. But even though OP didn't share what actually happened, and even though none of us is in a position to diagnose OP's mental condition, he or she still came here and asked for advice. So I'm going to offer advice based on my experience and based on what I've observed in people i know. I'm sorry that upsets you.

Like many of us, I had friends who suffered through the trauma of the end of a long-term relationship as law school was beginning. A couple of those friends briefly considered dropping out, but stayed with it and were ultimately happier for having done so.

As with all the advice offered in this thread, OP has to put what I said in perspective based on whatever his or her circumstances actually are. If something else happened to OP—if he or she has cancer or is going through a divorce with kids or is getting charged with felony embezzlement or is dealing with some other personal crisis—then my suggestion doesn't apply. But if OP just broke up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, then going to law school (instead of doing whatever else OP would do for the next year) could actually help.


After reading this response, I completely understand your perspective. I guess I would just like to point out that you spent the few extra seconds here to explain it to me, but you didn't do so when giving advice to OP, the person who actually needs advise in this thread. I think I would have been much less agitated by your original post and probably evenly inclined to agree with it if it were delivered with the above context. Originally, it looked more like a one line quip and came off as very judgmental and condescending. I guess that's the downside of text-based communication.

Fair enough. And, based on emkay625's post, it seems like you weren't the only one to see it that way. OP: if you're reading this, I just want to stress that I honestly, honestly did not intend to be insensitive or condescending. I was at work, saw your question, and weighed in quickly.

pricon
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Re: Start of law school coinciding with severe personal problems

Postby pricon » Tue Aug 22, 2017 11:40 am

I read the OP to mean they were literally "basically paralyzed," or partially paralyzed, physical therapist, etc. I read too much into it.




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