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lillawyer2 wrote:He is way worse, but I am uncomfortable talking about it-even though its anonymous. I listed just the minor stuff and wrote dysfunctional in the title. He has mental illness and physical illness.

To make it ok, I will have to spend as less time there as possible.

bwaldorf wrote:This should not even be a question. Live with your dad. The money you'll save will be HUGE, and your reasons for not wanting to ("he treats me like a baby! I won't be able to have friends over!") make you sound like an immature and spoiled brat. As long as he isn't interfering with your ability to study and sleep, then I think that you need to suck it up and live with your father.

Be grateful you have a parent willing to allow you to live with him not only rent free but free of a grocery bill, utilities, etc. Honestly, as someone who doesn't have parents, be grateful you have parents at all, even if you think your dad "treats you like a baby".

Npret wrote:You won't have a roommate situation that you could possibly afford but you will live with your dysfunctional dad for free.

I don't follow that logic.

See, this is why it's important to be specific. Earlier posts made it sounds like you meant that your father was "dysfunctional" because he didn't treat you like an adult. There's a very wide gap between that and mental illness.

Dude it's your life. I presume you're in your twenties. You're only young once and this is the time for you to branch out, develop as an individual, find your niche and interests. Living at home and having an overbearing dad might not be conducive to that.

Living with dad sounds awesome because it's way cheaper, but I also urge you to consider the benefits of being alone and having the social life you want.

lolwat wrote:

Dude it's your life. I presume you're in your twenties. You're only young once and this is the time for you to branch out, develop as an individual, find your niche and interests. Living at home and having an overbearing dad might not be conducive to that.

Living with dad sounds awesome because it's way cheaper, but I also urge you to consider the benefits of being alone and having the social life you want.

Depending on the dad (again, specifics...) I might or might not agree with the ultimate advice of living alone during law school, but I would wholeheartedly disagree with the kind of YOLO thought that seems to underlie the advice.

rpupkin wrote:

lolwat wrote:

Dude it's your life. I presume you're in your twenties. You're only young once and this is the time for you to branch out, develop as an individual, find your niche and interests. Living at home and having an overbearing dad might not be conducive to that.

Living with dad sounds awesome because it's way cheaper, but I also urge you to consider the benefits of being alone and having the social life you want.

Depending on the dad (again, specifics...) I might or might not agree with the ultimate advice of living alone during law school, but I would wholeheartedly disagree with the kind of YOLO thought that seems to underlie the advice.

Why?

lolwat wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

lolwat wrote:

Dude it's your life. I presume you're in your twenties. You're only young once and this is the time for you to branch out, develop as an individual, find your niche and interests. Living at home and having an overbearing dad might not be conducive to that.

Living with dad sounds awesome because it's way cheaper, but I also urge you to consider the benefits of being alone and having the social life you want.

Depending on the dad (again, specifics...) I might or might not agree with the ultimate advice of living alone during law school, but I would wholeheartedly disagree with the kind of YOLO thought that seems to underlie the advice.

Why?

Because to me, it's the kind of thought process that gets people doing things they seriously regret later.

Weighing the pros and cons of living with dad versus living alone (finances, dealing with someone with mental/physical issues, social life), as the second paragraph of the post I quoted suggested -- that's one thing and certainly reasonable. That's in fact what everyone else has been saying, after all.

But if the advice is generally "You're in your twenties, you're young, get out of your parent's basement and LIVE A BIT!" which the first paragraph seemed to go down, that's a little too much of generic YOLO advice to me. There's plenty of time to carefully "branch out, develop as an individual, [and] find your niche and interests" outside of home living conditions (OP did say he/she'd only be spending 5 hours at home to sleep, the other 19 being in classes, extracurriculars/clubs, or studying), or even just a few years later in the mid-20s after law school (assuming k-jd; if not k-jd, then likely already did develop/find interests/etc. before heading to law school). No need to tack on shitloads of debt just to live a bit in your early twenties.

rpupkin wrote:

lolwat wrote:

rpupkin wrote:

lolwat wrote:

Dude it's your life. I presume you're in your twenties. You're only young once and this is the time for you to branch out, develop as an individual, find your niche and interests. Living at home and having an overbearing dad might not be conducive to that.

Living with dad sounds awesome because it's way cheaper, but I also urge you to consider the benefits of being alone and having the social life you want.

Depending on the dad (again, specifics...) I might or might not agree with the ultimate advice of living alone during law school, but I would wholeheartedly disagree with the kind of YOLO thought that seems to underlie the advice.

Why?

Because to me, it's the kind of thought process that gets people doing things they seriously regret later.

Weighing the pros and cons of living with dad versus living alone (finances, dealing with someone with mental/physical issues, social life), as the second paragraph of the post I quoted suggested -- that's one thing and certainly reasonable. That's in fact what everyone else has been saying, after all.

But if the advice is generally "You're in your twenties, you're young, get out of your parent's basement and LIVE A BIT!" which the first paragraph seemed to go down, that's a little too much of generic YOLO advice to me. There's plenty of time to carefully "branch out, develop as an individual, [and] find your niche and interests" outside of home living conditions (OP did say he/she'd only be spending 5 hours at home to sleep, the other 19 being in classes, extracurriculars/clubs, or studying), or even just a few years later in the mid-20s after law school (assuming k-jd; if not k-jd, then likely already did develop/find interests/etc. before heading to law school). No need to tack on shitloads of debt just to live a bit in your early twenties.

The bolded is a big assumption. It's an assumption I didn't share in my 20s, and it's every bit as generic as the "YOLO" advice you attack.

I think OP should be mindful of debt. For that reason, I don't think the choice here is between "be unhappy living with my Dad" and "pay for fancy apartment living by myself." But there's a lot to be said for enjoying life in one's 20s. Older folks often regret their failure to do so as much as anything else in life. I think improved QOL and happiness in one's 20s is worth a few extra thousand a year.

emkay625 wrote:I'm going to argue against what everyone else is saying in this thread. You've hinted that your Dad is way worse than what you've let us know. As a result, I think you should move out. 1L is incredibly stressful. I can't imagine living with and caring for a family member that struggles with mental illness and physical disabilities during 1L, especially if I did not need to and especially if the family member did not need me—which seems to be the case from what you've asserted.

I think you need to get over your aversion to roommates. Find another incoming 1L in your school's Facebook group, suck it up, and live with them. To be honest, living with someone else who understands how stressful law school is and what you're going through can be incredibly beneficial.

It was never really talked about: but WHY do you refuse to have a roommate?

BlendedUnicorn wrote:Get roommates weirdo

BlendedUnicorn wrote:Yeah, I didn't mean to suggest you should/shouldn't live with your dad- that's a decision only you can make. I meant that you shouldn't view this as a binary choice of living with your dad or living by yourself.

lolwat wrote:

BlendedUnicorn wrote:Yeah, I didn't mean to suggest you should/shouldn't live with your dad- that's a decision only you can make. I meant that you shouldn't view this as a binary choice of living with your dad or living by yourself.

This is true, although some of the posts here make it seem like OP is somehow weird for not wanting to live with roommates. While it's certainly an option OP should look at, I don't see why it's so hard to understand.

BlendedUnicorn wrote:Yeah, I didn't mean to suggest you should/shouldn't live with your dad- that's a decision only you can make. I meant that you shouldn't view this as a binary choice of living with your dad or living by yourself.

mcmand wrote:

lillawyer2 wrote:Thanks you guys for your responses. They all helped and given me a lot to think about.

He can take care of himself. He is very manipulative and can be evil at times in his actions/behavior. I think its due to the fact that he is miserable and angry he is ill.

I will compromise and try living at home the first semester. If this does not turn out well then I have my answer. I tried to make it work. I will take on the debt.

I imagine since 1L is hectic. I will spend time studying and immersing myself in my law school experience that my home life will take a back seat. I will rarely see my dad or be in that house. When in UG, I worked/took 6 classes and just went to the apt to sleep/eat. I imagine LS is worse or at least the same.

My dad is happy I am going to LS. He may fall back on his terror and temper tantrums.

I will eagerly tell you that you should move out now. This is not healthy and will not suddenly become better with time. People don't dramatically change. You're only bargaining with yourself, not your dad. Your psychological health is more important than debt.

lolwat wrote:

BlendedUnicorn wrote:Yeah, I didn't mean to suggest you should/shouldn't live with your dad- that's a decision only you can make. I meant that you shouldn't view this as a binary choice of living with your dad or living by yourself.

This is true, although some of the posts here make it seem like OP is somehow weird for not wanting to live with roommates. While it's certainly an option OP should look at, I don't see why it's so hard to understand.