I really need help

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Dethrow
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2017 6:34 pm

I really need help

Postby Dethrow » Mon Apr 17, 2017 6:46 pm

I've been grazing around the forums for a while, and I decided to make an account to get some advice about my situation.

At the forefront, I want to tell anyone that sees this, I'm seeing a therapist about all of this. But, with that being said I'm still freaked out about the potential for my future.

I'm a 3L, I summered with a big firm (I will not name), and they re-negged on my offer due to budget issues (or so they told me). It's about a month away from commencement, I have almost no money, I'm applying everywhere but nothing is panning out yet. On top of that I have personal issues that are destroying me on the inside. Mainly, four of my high school friends have died in the past 2 months, my fiance had a major cancer scare, I've have severe panic attacks relating to something that happened less than a year ago, and I was pick-pocketed and ended up losing ~1100 dollars as a result (please don't ask about the details).

Needless to say, I'm freaking out and my life is falling apart, and I'm pretty sure I'm in the beginning stages of alcoholism. My therapist can only do so much...what do you all suggest about going forward in terms of applying to the BAR and moving on professionally.

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zot1
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Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2013 12:53 am

Re: I really need help

Postby zot1 » Mon Apr 17, 2017 6:56 pm

It's entirely normal to feel anxious, depressed, etc. as you get closer to graduation without securing a job yet. You are experiencing this times 3000 because of your personal life issues. The key is to keep yourself focused. You may not have an offer yet, but that doesn't mean you won't get hired in the next 9-12 months. But if you fail the bar or don't look good during interviews, then you will cause some real harm. So find a way to keep yourself motivated. Do whatever you need to do that. I would however try to stay away from alcohol though... do other positive things that make you happy to keep yourself on a high note.

judill
Posts: 38
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:13 pm

Re: I really need help

Postby judill » Mon Apr 17, 2017 6:58 pm

Are you seeing a psychiatrist in addition to your therapist? Medication can really help you navigate the anxiety in this stressful time. Wishing you the best!

Dethrow
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2017 6:34 pm

Re: I really need help

Postby Dethrow » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:23 pm

My primary care has prescribed me some meds in order to get me back on track...but right now, the hits just keep on coming. I guess my major concern is stemming from the initial event. It has thrown me off financially, and at times the anxiety can paralyze me from paying bills and the like. I'm afraid what this might look like on the C&F part of the BAR application.

Also, I really appreciate the support...it helps, a lot more than you may realize

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brinicolec
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Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2016 7:09 pm

Re: I really need help

Postby brinicolec » Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:37 pm

This might not help but last night I was reading a bunch of random threads and came across this one: viewtopic.php?f=23&t=276710

Basically, the OP talks about how he/she was no-offered and where he/she is now. Maybe you'll find it inspirational/comforting.

ThisLawyerLife
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:46 pm

Re: I really need help

Postby ThisLawyerLife » Mon Apr 24, 2017 10:25 pm

First, I'm really sorry. You're dealing with a lot right now, on top of the normal stress of 3L/bar study/job hunting. As a general point to keep in mind, I graduated from law school during the recession and know a lot of people who were no-offered or who graduated without jobs. Several years later, they're all doing fine. You can get through this.

In terms of practical advice, here are some suggestions:

1) Try to turn to a different form of stress relief than alcohol - exercise, take a bath, meditate, etc. If the routine of opening up a bottle of wine or cracking open a beer is what is soothing to you, try switching to seltzer or soda instead. Add some lime or lemon to make it a bit fancy. Seems silly, but I have several friends who cut back on their wine consumption by doing this.

2) If you graduate without a job, focus your energy during the 2 months after graduation on studying for the bar. Firms will prioritize hiring recent grads who have already passed the bar exam, so it's in your interest to pass the first time around. [On that note, remember that the bar is a minimum competency exam. You're not aiming for an A.] Then you can pick up your job search again after you take the bar.

3) If you are worried about money while studying for the bar, think about ways to cut back on expenses or add income. If you can move in with family, do that. Cut back on non-essential bills like cable for the next few months. I would not recommend trying to obtain fulltime work while you study for the bar, but if you're low on funds, try finding a part-time job that allows you to leave work at work - I'm thinking things like movie theater, retail, etc.

Good luck to you!

theventriloquist
Posts: 154
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:25 am

Re: I really need help

Postby theventriloquist » Thu Apr 27, 2017 8:19 pm

Stop the alcohol and see a psychatrist. in my opinion, a psychologist is not too useful. a psychatrist prescribes the drugs, which actually make a drifference.

I don't know how to help, but seeing a psychatrist made the difference for me when i had problem

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brinicolec
Posts: 4452
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2016 7:09 pm

Re: I really need help

Postby brinicolec » Thu Apr 27, 2017 10:45 pm

theventriloquist wrote:Stop the alcohol and see a psychatrist. in my opinion, a psychologist is not too useful. a psychatrist prescribes the drugs, which actually make a drifference.

I don't know how to help, but seeing a psychatrist made the difference for me when i had problem



The bolded is not correct. Research has shown the best treatment is counseling AND medication, as long as it's the right combination of the two.

tizza58
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 3:12 pm

Re: I really need help

Postby tizza58 » Wed Aug 09, 2017 8:21 pm

It's ok to feel sad, afraid, angry, depressed. You are a human being. Many of us (I've been surprised to find out some of the people I know who suffer with anxiety and depression that I would NEVER EVER EVER guess would have) go through the same thing.

I'm not a currently law student yet but I'm a few years older with work experience and some life experience under my belt so I hopefully can add my two cents. All I have to say is that these feelings don't mean the end is near. Seek guidance from professionals, friends, and family. Talk it out as much as you can to those you feel comfortable with. People in general are always going to want to and try to help when asked. You will be surprised how much support you will get if only you ask for it. Don't let the fear of the present get in the way of a bright future. You will have a law degree and will have one step up above a lot of other people in the job market. It may take some time, but it will come. You just have to continue to try and never give up. Do it for yourself, do it for your significant other, do it for your late friends, do it for family.

You are not alone in this. I'll be praying for you.

Damage Over Time
Posts: 318
Joined: Mon May 16, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: I really need help

Postby Damage Over Time » Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:38 am

+1 on stopping alcohol.

If you have trouble stopping, ask your therapist about resources that are available in your area (recovery programs, etc).


Good luck!

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future liT1g4tor
Posts: 135
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 8:39 pm

Re: I really need help

Postby future liT1g4tor » Thu Aug 10, 2017 10:36 am

Dethrow wrote:My primary care has prescribed me some meds in order to get me back on track...but right now, the hits just keep on coming. I guess my major concern is stemming from the initial event. It has thrown me off financially, and at times the anxiety can paralyze me from paying bills and the like. I'm afraid what this might look like on the C&F part of the BAR application.

Also, I really appreciate the support...it helps, a lot more than you may realize


It sounds like you have real bad anxiety problems. In addition to panic attacks you said & all the life issues you are dealing with. I'm no psychiatrist but you should try & talk to your dr. about prescribing you Alprazolam, just dont abuse it. It can be prescribed for any of the aforementioned reasons respectively.

It can be a wonder drug at times. It is better to take for your problems than alcohol is.

Money can be replaced. The beauty of life is that you learn from your mistakes, or from unfortunate lessons. See the positive side of it, what if this would have occured in the future with 5X the amount or even more. That being said, I know people tend to not walk around with that much cash on their person but some days it does happen.

Thats how I look at things when I take a loss, at least you'll know it wont happen again. If thinking of it happening again is what bothers you, try to assure yourself by taking steps to prevent it from happening again. Disallow it by taking precautions which you did not take in the past. Dont feel bad about not doing it in the past & that you let it happen. I know anxiety will eat you up with this thinking back on it from personal experience. Just always look forward & dont dwell on the past.

RaceJudicata
Posts: 1583
Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2015 2:51 pm

Re: I really need help

Postby RaceJudicata » Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:53 pm

First off, I'm sorry for the situation you are currently going through. Also, congratuations on realizing that these issues are affecting your life and for seeking help. That is a MASSIVE first step and you should be commended for it. I can't add much to what others have said, but continue seeking help, stay focused on the job hunt -- but more importantly, focus on getting your personal issues taken care of via therapist/medication/family/friends, etc.. Once you get a handle on that, I think the job stuff will fall in line.

Good luck!




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